"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." -Dom Helder Camara
The Hood by Rogi Riverstone
Hood Life
poverty politics homelessness justice disability accessability prejudice tolerance addiction liberation ignorance resourcefulness illiteracy education abuse struggle hate love depression celebration disease health greed generosity
This bank has lied to me. I called CS because my acct had been $3.00 over & I made a $10.00 payment, the previous day. I wanted assurance that no fees would be attached to my account.CS PROMISED me no fees would be assessed against my account.
Tonight, I found a $30.00 fee assessed for overage! My current activity since last statement doesn't show my payment. The overage fee does.
If your computers are capable of charging IMMEDIATELY for an overage, they're CERTAINLY capable of listing a PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY, WITHOUT assessing an ADDITIONAL fee for immediate processing!
What does it say about your policies that you tried to assess a penalty TEN TIMES that of the overage on my account, when I'd already covered the difference, within TWO HOURS of its occurance?
My income is Social Security Disability insurance, less than $700/mo. Is this bank SO financially insecure it needs to assess unfair fees to disabled people? No WONDER banks r closing! CHANGE YOUR POLICIES!
I taped a hand written copy of this to his bedroom door, after he came in (gone a week, without word) at 2am, waking me by CHECKING MY ANSWERING MACHINE and slamming his door.
YOU HAVE LOST THE FOLLOWING PRIVELEDGES
DISHES: Since you insist on hording them in your room, attracting bugs.
TRUCK: For driving w/out permission while drinking, leaving empty alcohol can (behnd MY SEAT! I told him, REPEATEDLY, NO OPEN CONTAINERS IN THE TRUCK, to which he said I was treating him like a child)
ANSWERING MACHINE & PHONE: Answering machine is NOT yours. YOU don't need to check messages; I do.
FREE ACCESS: You have a 10pm curfew. I need sleep AND peace. I'll be locking deadbolt at 10 pm (he doesn't have a key), UNLESS you make arrangements with me in ADVANCE. I will UNLOCK by apx. 6 am.
GUESTS: Guest must be cleared with me in advnce, 24 hr. notice.
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If you didn't act like a child, you wouldn't be "treated like a child."
They're actually the old mail boxes from the station: complete with weird stickers, labels with everybody's names, graphiti, etc.
I didn't even peel off Renee Blake's name, although some of you might wonder why not?
I've even got Paul Ingles Peace Talks Our Top Stories (Paul, PLEASE get another grant; I loved Top Stories!!!)
They have no backs on them, so they're perfect to put in the middle of the kitchen, so I can reach my best glassware, spices and dry goods from both sides, while sunlight streams through them.
I don't know who made them, but they're beautifully constructed.
I'm going to TRY to keep living with Toboho, but under more serious restrictions.
I really can't count on him to check in when he says he will. He HAS paid his rent, in full, when it's due.
I have to be VERY careful about when I tell him I need something; it causes him, frequently, to question my judgment, yell at me and/or argue with me. He may be charming, but he's one of the angriest people I've ever met.
I've told him I don't want him to bring any alcohol in the house. This weekend was torture. He became aggrevated once, when we were about to drive away. I saw him getting ready to crack a beer and repeated, for the 3rd time that day, "I don't want open containers in the truck." Apparantly, I ought not have stated that. He said he'd already agreed to that. He was very angry that he couldn't drink his beer but had to leave with me.
He's not going to be in my truck anymore. This morning, I found an empty beer can, carefully placed behind MY driver's seat.
He told me he is reminded of his ex-girlfriend by me, because I expect him to be where he says he's going to be and be accountable. I am NOT his girlfriend, and find this pretty muddled, sexist thinking.
I think he as confused license with liberty. Many people do.
His mind is very cluttered with self justification, denial, excuses, shifting blame, ego protection and chaotic thinking, so I'm trying not to engage him.
I need someone to help with the rent until Sept. 4, and don't see any other options besides Toboho, although I've posted several CraigsList ads.
I AM afraid of him. He's easily provoked and he provokes, especially while under the influence. I think he's reckless. That's fine with his own life, but I don't want him to endanger me with open containers, questioning police officers while I'm operating the vehicle, singing "Legalize Marijuana" in front of small-town folks outside a store, making jokes about needing cocaine to work, etc.
I can't afford that drama. He shoots himself in the foot, but his self destructiveness endangers others, too.
So, he stays, unless he turns violent (which wouldn't surprise me; that's why he can't drink here anymore -- he PROMISED, when he moved in, that he doesn't drink in excess, so now I know he's a liar who tells people what he thinks they want to hear).
He's insulting, disrespectful, accusatory, demanding, patronizing, condescending, cocky, argumentative. He embarrassed me in front of my friends and total strangers this weekend. He interrupts me constantly and won't listen to important information I'm trying to tell him, demanding later that I tell him again.
But, since he won't be in the truck with me anymore, that will be minimized.
I'm trying to maintain as LITTLE contact with him as possible.
He is FURIOUS with me for being angry with him in front of Marcos. He said I treated him like a child. I think he felt emasculated. Although I've repeatedly apologized, he still brings it up. But then, he accuses me of all sorts of stuff I DIDn't do, so why should I be surprised?
I finally had to make a vow to myself, this weekend, that I wouldn't speak to him, no matter HOW badly he tried to provoke me. That's when he threw a tantrum, scared the family there, and walked off to go back to Albuquerque! I wouldn't play and he escalated into a total rage attack.
Anyway PLEASE don't tell him I called Trinity House & y'all's cell phone. He'll go off on me again, and my nerves are SHOT; I can't TAKE anymore of his cruel mouth.
It's only for about 6 more weeks and then I never have to hear him scream at me again.
My friends know what he's like. Hell, the whole TOWN of Ft. SUMNER knows; they all have police scanners; they know when the cops spoke to him -- TWICE! The whole town's gossiping about him, about me, and about the family to whose house I'm moving!
I'm embarrassed that the whole town thinks I'm so irresponsible as to bring a loud mouthed drunk into town for the weekend, who lay outside an abandoned gas station for hours on the main drag, simply because I wouldn't IMMEDIATELY drive him back to Albuquerque the minute he wanted to leave!
But my local friends know, too. And they're keeping an eye on me and this apartment, so I'll be safe.
He really scared me this weekend. He scared my friends and he scared their KIDS (When I TOLD him this, he actually said, "That doesn't matter." These are SERIOUSLY, physically and developmentally disabled girls he scared!). And he's not welcomed back there.
I'm sorry I called, but I'm really scared of him. I'm sleeping with a hunting knife under my pillow and I never leave my purse or keys where he can get at them.
If you tell him I contacted you -- again -- about him, I don't know what he'll do.
"Christopher" NEEDS TO CALL ME BEFORE NOON TOMORROW!
"Christopher," as he won't tell me his actual name, left a message LAST night that he wouldn't be home and would "see you tomorrow." This is "tomorrow." I haven't heard a WORD about: where he is, when he's coming back, if he's really going to help me move, if he's going to pay his rent and what time that'll happen.
His rent is due. Last time he got paid, apparantly, he got "robbed."
I called St. Martin's, where he told me he works, 4 times today to leave messages. I DESPERATELY needed his help tonight. The last time I called, the woman who answered said he hasn't been working there this week!
So, why hasn't he paid me the rent he owes?
I'm supposed to rent a trailer from U-haul on Friday, to transport a shed (getting it out of the backyard today, while I had a work crew, was why I needed him; it's still not moved) to Ft. Sumner on Friday.
I need his rent $ to pay for the trailer & gasoline out there & back.
If I DON'T hear from him by noon tomorrow, I'll have to call U-haul to CANCEL the trailer, or pay more of a penalty than the rental would have cost me.
I'm out of money and running out of food.
I've just been diagnosed with pulmonary edema and emphysema. I'm very ill and the heat is exhausting me. I'm working WAY too hard, with no help. He's SUPPOSED to help me unload the truck & trailer in Ft. Sumner this weekend; I can't do it alone.
I'm running out of time to move!
I've been home all day, afraid to be too far from the phone, in case he calls again, so I can tell him all this.
If I don't hear from him by noon, I have to cance the trailer. I can't just sit around waiting while he sleeps and socializes. I waived a deposit on the room in exchange for some help with the move. I haven't been unreasonable in my requests for assistance.
My target date for quitting cigarettes is, tentatively, July 11. That's when I expect to reeive the nicotine gum in the mail.
But I decided some prep stuff was in order.
One thing that has HELPED in the past is pacing: one cig per hour.
I've been SO conjested in the mornings, though, that I've been chain smoking half a pack, more or less, when I get up. Partly, I do it to calm the coughing. Partly, I do it as a stimulant, as I've been very groggy inthe mornings & wanted to wake up so I could start packing the truck while it's still cool outside.
This morning, I managed to DELAY the 1st cig by apx 10 mins. That's a victory.
I couldn't manage to wait an entire hour for the 2nd cigarette, but I DID WAIT 30 MINUTES!! That's another victory.
Also, I'm going to try to walk 1/2 hr per day. I took the goats out for a walk in the afternoon. True, motly, I was sitting or standing around, waiting for the goats to graze. But we went several blocks, one pretty long one. I felt it in my calf muscles. And the goats, of course, LOVED not being imprisoned in the back yard! Much playing, gamboling and head butting ensued.
Someone emailed me today, thinking Ft. Sumner is in Colorado. I WISH it were in Colorado, but it's actually in semi- or demiHell, New Mexico, almost Texas. They seem to have planted Billy the Kid there: long history of varmints, livin down there. 'cept for the Jesus and the football, I ought to fit right in. http://www.ftsumnerchamber.com/
or, type: "26482 Hwy 60, Ft. Sumner, NM" into google maps
I'm hoping to gawd those big, black, ugly rectangles next door to her place aren't a feed lot or a meat processing plant! The stench and screaming would tear me up.
It's an abandoned hotel, on Highway 60 (north side of the road), on 13 acres. Her payments are $300/month. 1 acre = 4840 yards. I don't know how big an acre is, but i know it's bigger than a standard back yard by some.
They've got horses and a barn. I think I see that, and the horse corral, just north of the living complexes. I wouldn't MIND living in the barn! Done it before. Just need internet, phone and electric. I can make my own septic tank & haul h2o.
I'll be living in a 25' travel trailer until we can get the 2 br mobile home fixed up. I'll also have a motel room for art & recording studio space.
I'll be living there rent free, paying my own utilities & other expenses.
I'll be working as Amanda's personal care assistant, part time.
I plan to work on radio & my art & writing a lot.
I'll be applying for a volunteer position at the actual Fort, a state monument; I plan to do research on The Long Walk. Ft. Sumner is the destination of that walk, during which thousands of Apache and Dine were kidnapped by the US army from their homes and forcibly marched to the fort. The fort -- and the old US airbase (where NASA still does balloon research) are within walking distance.
There's fishing in the Pecos River & several lakes, so I'll be taking my goats & dogs fishing with me.
Within 20 miles, I can visit several "ghost towns," one of which is still occupied by a post office and population of 11 residents.
There's a wind farm near Portales. Portales has ENMU, for "cultcha," science (which I LOVE!) and an occassional, decent cuppa coffee.
I'm hoping to set up an ameteur astronomy observatory, if light pollution permits.
There's a marginally active group of Unitarian Universalists; they range from Ft. Sumner to Eastern Texas. So, I'll have some fellowship occasionally, if they're not the "bickering" kind of UUs (which is why I'm not involved in any Albq. fellowships).
I'm also in contact with a country western AM station; they broadcast jeebus, rush and classic country, from So. Canada to ALL of Mexico, at night, anyway. They're interested in me for the news dept.
I'm in contact with the editor of the De Baca County Register & the Livestock Report, both of which publish weekly, to work as a reporter.
I'm also in contact with SouthernNewMexico.com an online ezine that can use me as a reporter.
I'm planning on being the correspondent of "Little Texas" for KUNM. We don't broadcast down there, but I can listen on the 'net, for now. I'm already discussing with Richard Towne how to put up a little tower & broadcast KUNM off the 'net, plus get some locals to go in with me on producing local programming. I'll discuss it with the Prometheus Radio Project re: low power FM.
It's too late this year, but next year I hope to hell to put in a decent "truck" garden. I have chickens for eggs. I have goats for milk/cheese, once I breed Nilly. Don't see why I should buy food if I can grow it. Hopefully, Brenda will have some equipment I can use to prepare the ground. I see what look like furrows to the west of the hotel; maybe I'll get really lucky & that'll be on her property.
Mostly, I think the economy in this country will get MUCH worse before it gets better. I'm going to hunker down, eliminate extra expenses, do my art & creative work and heal my body & mind.
Anybody interested in joining us? There's lots of room at the hotel! -- Rogi Riverstone http://rriverstone.com
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -- President George W. Bush, August 5, 2004.
I lived in Pacific Grove & Santa Cruz for several years. I miss it, deeply.
I'm moving to -- of all places -- Ft. Sumner, New Mexico in a couple of months. I'm taking my art supplies with me.
I've always been so low income that creative arts always got sacrificed to keep a roof over my head. I plan to change that when I move. I want creative arts to be my first priority. I've never truly been successful unless I do what I love to do. I'm not "connected," and may never sell anythig I create, but I need to create it, no matter what.
I plan to pay attention to the landscapes, the skies, the animals, the fauna, the geology, the light, the astronomy and the weather.
I'll be working, part time, as a personal assistant to Amanda, who is severely developmentally and physically disabled from a car crash 10 years ago. You can hear a radio documentary I produced about her family at http://kunm.org Just look for "podcasts" and subscribe to "Sunday Specials." Look for "What's a Disability to Brenda's Girls;" that's it.
I became close friends with the family during production. They live in an abandoned hotel, on 13 acres of land. I'll be living in a trailer and using an hotel room -- and an outdoor structure I'll make of corrugated metal -- as studio space.
That, and my Social Security Disability Insurance, will be my primary income -- along with some independent radio documentaries.
I truly appreciate your epoxy techniques. I've always done that sort of work, with inferior materials, and loved it.
I wonder if you would be so kind as to give me a few hints.
What sort of wax do you use? I noticed it's grey; it's not parafin, is it? Once you've melted it out, can it be reused? How do you melt it, without too much heat on the work?
Do you MAKE your own epoxy? I know you blend it with sawdust -- which is brilliant, by the way. If you make your epoxy, would you give me some hints?
At first, I thought your sculpting was conventional inlay, requiring much careful sanding I see you DO inlay, but the mosaic on wax technique with sawdust epoxy makes a LOT of sense. I was also thinking of ground glass, sands, pebbles, seeds, beads, etc as mortar, too.
I plan to use a lot of trash -- I'm a recycler -- to create my stuff. Especially, for large pieces, I was thinking of papr mache over frames made of old milk & soda bottles, cans, newspapers, etc. Ft. Sumner is FULL of trash!
But, for smaller pieces, the wax makes a lot of sense to me.
I'm bisexual; I used to identify myself as Lesbian, but I'm not a purist at anything, really. I'm not closeted, fortunately. I want you to know that the story of the partnership between you & Brooks truly touched me. I admire your courage, your insistance on authenticity, your very "butch" hard work.
Enjoy that magnificent environment you and Brooks created!
The art of KIH. Most artists in pastel use soft strokes, gently blending colors by smoothing them with a soft tool or finger tip. Rarely do pastel artists resort to harsh strokes, jagged lines and short, rapid "scrubbing" strokes. Usually, pastels are soothing, blended, rather like water colors. Colors are blended so carefully as to create an illusion of textures. Many artists use the subtleties of the color blends to bring out depth, three dimensionality and smoothness, roundness, translucence and transparency.
KIH's work looks childish, frantic, harsh, angry and incomplete. Basically, it looks like her mind, not the peaceful (and UNPOPULATED!) landscapes she mimics. It looks like she WANTS you to believe the natural you see, not realizing she has unconsciously revealed, by her techniques, the unnatural within the artist.
sewage backed up again Monday, June 23, 2008 3:27 PM From: "Rogi Riverstone" To: Katherine Cc:
Rachel, could YOU please call her? I just can't.
No, we don't put anything down there besides toilet paper.
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the apartment was FLOODING Monday, June 23, 2008 7:28 PM From: "Rogi Riverstone" To: Katherine
I pushed the garden hose down the sewer to try to push loose the clog. THE HOSE WATER WAS NOT ON! I want you to PROVE to me that you have "three witnesses" that SAW that the water was ON, as you stated when you called to verbally attack me tonight, calling me a liar and accusing me of things I never did.
You couldn't answer email or phone messages, and water was POURING out of the toilet and bathtub onto the floor, spilling out onto the hard wood.
I've been mopping YOUR hardwood floors for an HOUR to try to prevent water damage.
I called the City of Albuquerque, who sent out a truck to flush the storm drains and manholes, in case the sewage backup was THEIR fault. IF you don't believe THAT, call 311 in Albuquerque, tell them the address and date, and THEY will verify it.
I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR PROPERTY!!!
"Therapists" do NOT address people with PTSD the way you just did.
ASK me what I've done, instead of ACCUSING me of stuff you got from the criminal neighbors' gossip!
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MUD in the sewer lines Monday, June 23, 2008 7:33 PM From: "Rogi Riverstone" To: Katherine
I also walked around to all my neighbors, to see if anybody had a snake to try to clean out the drain, it was THAT urgent.
Cris & Sasha's trash is parked right over a sewer cap. That's why the lines froze in the winter: they knock the cap off the sewer lines; I told you this back then.
I see where they've been hosing down the walkway outside their kitchen door. There's a BIG stream of MUD, going RIGHT into the sewer line, where the cap is always missing.
I check & replace that cap, any time I think of it, which is seldom, as I never go over there & can't see it with the trash on top of it.
The threads from pipe to cap don't seem to work any more; the cap won't screw on tightly.
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it's 1am and I can't sleep -- AGAIN! Tuesday, June 24, 2008 2:00 AM From: "Rogi Riverstone" To: Katherine Bcc: "Brenda", "Glen", "Corey", "Marjorie", "Judith", "Paul"
"Thanks, Rogi, for trying so hard to prevent damage to my hardwood floors. You were level headed. You sought help from the city, who came out to pump the storm drains and manholes in the neigbhorhood. You walked the neighborhood in the heat, trying to find a neighbor with a snake. You tried to push the clog out of the pipe with your garden hose, when you couldn't find a snake. You worked for over an hour to clean up the mess with mops, rags and A PUMP (kneeling on the sewage-covered floor, up to your elbows in sewage, as you struggled to keep the hose in the pump to drain water out of the overflowing tub and out the bathroom window). You single-handedly prevented thousands of dollars in structural damages that COULD have gotten the property condemned by the city as a substandard building and health hazard (while Cris and Sasha just drove away and left it all)! It was a serious emergency. I couldn't answer your email or phone call. The water was spillingout into the apartment. You didn't have my instructions on how to hire a plumber in an emergency (although you TRIED to find out, by phoning Waz, the only maintanace person whose number you had). You did your very best under difficult circumstances, and a lot more than most other tenants -- including Cris and Sasha -- and I'm grateful." ~~words I'll never hear from Katherine.
I have to be up in 4 hours, while it's still cool enough that I can pack the truck, when someone can help me. And I'll have to do it, without enough rest, even as the triage nurse on the phone insisted, days ago, that I SHOULD take an ambulance to the ER, as I have all the symptoms of pulmonary edema. I'll have to do it because, no matter HOW sick I am, you'll "PUNISH" me if I'm not out of here on the day my lease is up. If someone can help me, I have to be there when they can. And I can only work a few hours per day, so I'll need the entire term of the lease to get out.
Your little phone call elevated my pulse, respiration and blood pressure to the point where I became dizzy and began coughing convusively, until I became incontinent and vomited. It COULD have KILLED me!
Yet, I NEVER raised my voice; I NEVER accused YOU of ANYTHING. And I'm the one with PTSD!! I maintained a PROFESSIONAL relationship with you while you just lost it, slurred speech and all. You were SO invested in HATING me, you REFUSED to listen to a word I said!
I won't be able to sleep at all tonight -- again -- because of your hysterics, abuse, false accusations, presumptions of my guilt, arrogant snobbery, COMPLETE lack of personal boundaries and totally unprofessional conduct.
What the hell do you call leaving water running off the roof for DAYS and thinking the swamp cooler was working???? THAT's good for your brand new roof and ancient walls and foundation!
When you wrote an email to Rachel and me, saying WE didn't have a good sense of boundaries, we - and ALL our friends and associates we'd told (legal council, included) -- had quite a laugh, hearing that coming from YOU of ALL people!
How DARE you think you can call me up, scream false accusations at me and hang up on me when I try to explain that YOU WERE MISINFORMED --AGAIN!!! THOSE PEOPLE IN THE FRONT ARE CRIMINALS! THEY LIE TO POLICE OFFICERS, for crying out loud! They're professional THIEVES! They physically ASSAULT anybody who gets in the way of their ignorance! But you believe their gossip like scriptures, over anything I say.
Your "hysterical female" routine is wearing rather thin; you're a bit old for high school tactics.
I see what you are.
You are a brat. You are a bully. Your life is COMPLETELY out of control, so you are OBSESSED with controlling those you believe your "inferiors." You manipulate, intimidate, harrass, threaten, meddle, and insinuate your agenda into the lives of those to whom you mistakenly compare yourself as "superior." Someday, someone is going to wipe that smug smirk off your face. I'd LOVE to see that happen, but I HAVE a life, and won't be around for it. I take my satisfaction in just KNOWING it will happen.
I feel SO bad for those poor children, subjected to your "therapy!"
You are common as dirt. You respect nothing but money and phoney status symbols. My god, I told you I was beaten in the head, and you tried to use the notion that I accepted a deposit from a prospective, new roommate as some lame, litigeous argument that I violated the LEASE??? I should keep my abuser here, rather than try to live a healthy and safe life, because of YOUR obsession with MONEY????
What runs through your veins: warm blood or cold alcohol?
You are SO SICK! And you're hell bent to poison anyone around you who dares QUESTION your warped "reality!" Yeah, you created your own reality, all right. It's repulsive, unjust, cruel, twisted and sadistic. It has NOTHING to do with who I am, what I stand for and believe in, the work I do, the people I respect and the planet I steward.
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!
I was going to delete the Barbara Bush quote in my email signature, but it sounds SO MUCH like you, I left it in.
Rogi Riverstone http://rriverstone.com
"Why should we hear about body bags, and deaths, and how many, what day it's gonna happen, and how many this or what do you suppose? Or, I mean, it's, it's not relevant. So, why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?" -- Barbara Bush on Good Morning America, March 18, 2003
This bank has lied to me. I called CS because my acct had been $3.00 over & I made a $10.00 payment, the previous day. I wanted assurance that no fees would be attached to my account.CS PROMISED me no fees would be assessed against my account.
the best
pretty good
ok
pretty bad 
the worst help?