Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Either that, or she's just crazy.
Email to her:
My name is not Rachel; it is Rogi.
I took care of the sewage, not Rachel, so you can thank me.
Rachel already told you what we flush down the toilet, so I don't understand why you are mentioning that again, unless you believe WE have something to do with this plumbing problem of yours.
The sewage lines are FREEZING because somebody keeps removing the caps.
As I've already told you, OUR sewage lines are fine since I flushed out the bath tub with hot water.
This morning, however, I did find the cap removed from our sewage line again.
I assume Chris and Sasha are incapable of finding their sewage cap and putting it back on.
I will check our sewage line occasionally, to make sure the cap hasn't been removed again. I will NOT be responsible for Chris and Sasha's.
I'm also concerned that the WATER lines might begin freezing, as Chris and Sasha have no kithen door window now, and "replaced" the glass they broke with a too-small piece of cardboard. It's well below freezing at night, with winds. Pipes could freeze.
Since I received no acknowledgment from you of my email regarding the subject, I must assume that, like Sasha's assault on me, you think I'm lying, exaggerating or that I "created" this. Therefore, I took pictures today of the broken glass in their trash and the back door with the cardboard on it. I'm keeping these to prove myself, if that becomes necessary.
I let my dog out this morning, before 6am. As it's Christmas morning and very cold, I decided I didn't want to walk her with leash across the street. I decided I could let her relieve herself in the yard, with the gate closed, so she can't get hurt.
Sasha told me she pushes the east side gate as hard as she can toward the juniper, so they can park their car on the lawn in front of their unit more easily. The ground was frozen and I had a great deal of difficulty, moving the gate.
Sasha also told me, and the police, that she slams the west side gate into the fence, so the gate latch will hook into the chain link of the fence. She does this so she won't have to be bothered with opening the gate all the way, if the wind blows it (which I've never seen happen.) By doing this, she has bent the fence wires to accomodate the gate latch.
After struggling with the east side gate, I had to pull on the west side gate. It wouldn't move. I then noticed a dark, very stiff wire, holding the gate to the fence. I got a tool and cut the wire, so I could close the gate to let my dog out. My pulling, though, has bent some of the fence and gate wire. I will straighten them at daylight. I can't see well enough in the dark, which is why I didn't see the restraining wire. Nobody told me it was there, either.
Having the use of the fenced yard on occasion (I don't use it often, nor for very long) and having access to the back yard are two, main reasons why I wanted to live here.
While my dog was out, I noticed her sniffing something on the ground by the east side of the building. One of the sewage caps to this property is completely missing; it's not lying on the ground somewhere. It's just gone. I don't think it goes to our apartment; I think ours is to the east and theirs is to the west. It's the latter that is missing.
When OUR sewage cap was missing is when our plumbing backed up, which I cured by running hot water into the tub.
If there's an issue with Chris and Sasha's plumbing, I suggest they check to see if they've thrown out that sewage cap.
If it's in their trash, they'll have to be careful, looking for it. Their trash is full of glass, from the window that got shattered Dec. 23, when Chris and his male guest had a horrible fight, banging into walls, screaming, breaking glass and scaring their daughter so bad she came out into the yard, alone in the cold, crying hysterically. They brought the fight into the street, screaming to disturb the entire block. Someone finally called the police.
They're damaging your property. They have NO consideration for the rights of other tenants, guests or neighbors on the street. I think they believe they're still living alone, on a farm in the country, where no neighbors affect their lives.
The sewage discharge cap to our unit was unscreweed and laying on the ground outside the east side gate, so I screwed it back on. Our sewage pipes were frozen, as a result. Sewage was backing up in our toilet and bathtub. I ran hot water into the bath tub, and we've never had a plumbing problem, since. I noticed Roto Rooter came a few days later, apparantly for Chris &Sasha's place. I don't know about any other plumbing visits.
Kyoko, the neighbor to the east, has some Chinese elm saplings, growing near the sewage lines at this property. Tim, her neighbor and assistant, is planning to dig those out. Chinese elms are notorious for digging their roots into plumbing and clogging it.
We have no plumbing problems.
Monday, December 24, 2007
I'm not allowed to smoke in the house. For the first time in 21 years, I bought a bottle of Johnie Walker red tonight. I also, for the first time in three years (I only buy them on special occasions, IF I remember), I bought a pack of Benson & Hedges cigarettes....$5 a pack!!!
I was sitting on my front porch, smoking one of the B&H, drinking Johnie Walker red, soda and a twist (of orange peel; we didn't have lemons, and it's xmas eve, and no stores are open, but orange peel tastes good in scotch.)
Suddenly, a cop car zoomed by on our lazy, quiet street. And I thought, damn.
So, I came in the house and called 311.
Gary answered, African American, young, by the sound of him.
And I said,
And I told him I'm not alllowed to smoke in my house and I was on the front porch when the cop car went by. And it made me think.
I said, I have some real issues with Albuqueruqe PD and FD.
But I wanted to wish them, and the 311 operators in the boiler room, happy holidays. And thank you.
I know they'd rather be home with their families right now.
But they're out here, trying to protect us.
And I have REAL issues with some of them.
So, Gary asked me my name (I only gave Rogi) and my phone #, which I gave him.
Cops, especially, are poisoned. Some come that way: they're cops cuz the get to carry a gun (penis substitute) and scare and intimidate people. Some came to it by noble reasons: they love their communities and want to protect them. Some came because their parents came, and they're carrying on family traditon. Some came because their options are limited: they have military backgrounds or grew up in neighborhoods where the only "good guys" were also cops or FD.
Cops and see crap I don't want to see: vomit, needles in dead arms, beaten hookers, drunk people of color, violated properties. I HAVE seen it, as a poor person. But it is a goal of my life NEVER to have to witness the nightmares of poverty and ignorance again.
Cops and FD choose to live in a world which almost killed me.
Aside from ego, mother issues, penis envy and machimso, I'd have to say a good portion of those people choose to live among the filth because they SINCERELY believe they make a difference and protect the innocent.
I'm not wise enough to know whether that's true or not.
All I know is that SOME of them TRY.
So I called 311 and spoke with Gary.
If we all stop terrorizing our own children, behaving like crazy people while under the influence of mind-altering chemicals, beating those we say we love, and liberating property from people we think can't manage it better than we can, cops and FD could be home tonight, snuggling with the people they love, living the biblical injunction of Peace on Earth.
Even as I was thinking that, outside on my porch, I heard sirens scream by, blocks from my house, hours from what's supposed to be the most sacred event in history: the birth of a Savior to humankind.
Yes, I've dealt with both cops and fire personnel who were dyed in the wool bastards and fascists. I won't sugar coat that. I don't know: do they have mysogynistic tendancies, father issues, poor toilet training, delusions of grandeur, sadistic fantasies? I don't know and I don't care. I only know I have to be careful, in their presence.
But a lot of young kids are patroling our streets tonight -- and the streets of Afganistan and Iraq -- who SINCERELY believe they're doing the right thing.
Whether I agree or not, I respect their commitment and concern.
Thank you, people, for trying to protect me and my goats, my cats, my goldfish, my chickens and ducks, my obstinate roommmate, my webtv, my computer, my collections of odd, handmade crap.
Thank you for letting me sleep in my warm house tonight, knowing you'll come if I really need you.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:36:36 -0700
Re: Sasha intentionally drove her car at me yesterday
I have told Chris and Sasha nothing about you personally.
I am afraid Rogi that you have created this toxic situation. Things
before you moved in. Perhaps you can use as much energy to try to make
both myself and to your neighbors.
Quoting Rogi Riverstone
Frequently, when Chris & Sasha are gone for the day, I
> let my dog out in the front yard to run. Since she's
> blind, she doesn't get to run very often, even though
> she's a herding dog, and needs the exercise. I close
> the front gate, so she won't run into the street. I
> let her out back, too, but not unless I'm there to
> watch, as the goats pester her and butt her.
> Chris knows I do this, and says it's fine with him.
> One day, he came home early, when the gates were
> closed. I opened them for him and apologized for the
> inconvenience. He said it was "no problem," and even
> offered that I could reclose them, if I wanted, as he
> had no plans to go out again that day. I declined. I
> don't leave my dog out when others are home, just to
> be safe.
> Yesterday, after Sasha -- the last one to leave --
> drove away, I closed the gates to let my dog run.
> She's usually out there for less than an hour. I
> always clean up any poop.
> Yesterday, Sasha came back in just a few minutes; she
> has never done this before. I was standing right
> there, and started calling my dog back to the house.
> But the dog heard Sasha yelling and cursing at me, and
> went to the sound.
> I went to the gate to fetch the dog. Sasha opened one
> side; I opened the other. Sasha was screaming at the
> top of her lungs, obscenities and crazy accusations.
> She was inconvenienced for about ten seconds.
> Most of her accusations were based things you must
> have told Chris and / or Sasha about Rachel's and my
> personal lives.
> 1) We had to move here because we couldn't get along
> with our neighbors. Not true.
> 2) The only reason I don't want people blocking our
> driveway is because I have no friends, and I am
> jealous that Chris and Sasha do. Not true.
> 3) I don't work; I sit around, collecting welfare. Not
> 4) You are afraid to come to the property because, "in
> ten years, she's never had tenants like you." That's a
> direct paraphrase of something you said to us in
> 5) We are making repairs to the property without
> contacting you. Not true.
> 6) We're not allowed to park in the driveway, ever.
> Not true.
> 7) We have NO RIGHT to access the common area on the
> east side of the house, and there's no need to move
> the trash barrel that blocks the gate there. Not true.
> It's a common area and, by New Mexico State law, it
> must not be obstructed. I've had to ask permission
> from the NEIGHBOR to the east to go through THEIR yard
> to bring things in and take things out of our
> 8) I can bring things like goats and bales of straw
> through our apartment. Not true. It's messy, dangerous
> and potentially distructive.
> 9) I deliberately hit their car, because I want to use
> the WHOLE driveway. Not true.
> 10) I refuse to pay for repairs to their car. Not
> true. They never got estimates. They never contacted
> their insurance company, if they even have one.
> 11) I left a "nasty note" on Sasha's mother's in law
> window when she blocked our part of the driveway. Not
> true. The note read: "You are blocking our driveway.
> Visitors must park on the street."
> 12) The mother in law is "afraid" to come here now,
> because I was rude. Not true. I found the note, wadded
> into a ball, thrown into our flowerbed. She's afraid
> I'll be angry that she did that, and feels guilty.
> 13) I'm outside, screaming at them, at least once a
> week. Not true. I raised my voice ONCE, when we were
> still moving in, and the Aztek was blocking both our
> front yard AND our parking space. I have APOLOGIZED
> for that, and was told, by both Chris and Sasha, that
> it was forgiven and forgotten.
> 14) Chris and Sasha only stare at us to make sure we
> don't hit their cars again. Not true. Chris has been
> staring, eavesdropping, and coming into our back yard
> since before we moved in. I have a gate in the back
> now. But he will BLATANTLY stare, even when we're just
> having a conversation with someone on the porch, and
> NO cars are involved
> Most of the accusations leveled at me, at full volume,
> and with much cursing, are based on things you MUST
> have told Chris and / or Sasha. Please refrain from
> gossiping about us to our neighbors. What you know
> about us is none of their business and is poor
> property management to divulge.
> Yesterday, I was standing in the driveway, when the
> first accusations were hurled, holding my dog by the
> collar. I demanded to know where Sasha was getting
> this misinformation. She refused to answer, so I asked
> again. Sasha entered her vehicle, put it in gear, and
> DROVE AT ME! She did not ask me to move; she just
> drove the car into me and my dog.
> You have created a very toxic situation here. Your
> need to gossip and play "divide and conguer" with the
> tenants at your rental units has created a living hell
> for ALL of us.
> I tried to set up a mediation with you with the City
> of Albuquerque's Legal Dept., and you never replied to
> their letter.
> This mess is your responsibility.
> These people are immature, impulsive, selfish,
> invasive, disrespectful and dangerous.
> Fix it.
> I have read this email to my roommate and she approves of
> my sending it.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Dear Mrs. Kalyan,
I want to thank you for your work as a mother. Your son is doing an excellent thing, with his role in "Aliens in America."
While there is some criticism, some legitimate, of his role, his accent, the writing and even his wardrobe, his character is a breath of fresh air on our commercial television scene.
My friend and I watch the show, every week. In almost every episode, we find ourselves saying, "Who IS this kid? Look at the intelligence, shining from his eyes!" So, I finally looked him up on the internet today. Then, I looked YOU up!
To read the criticism, and my response to it, please read: http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com/2007/12/aliens-in-america.html
I also want to thank you for your diligent work in the South African Parliament.
I wish your family a healthy future.
May South Africa shine as a beacon of tolerance, reconcilliation, intelligence and diversity in a wounded world.
Your son is a happy part of my life.
I was looking up info on the kid who plays Raja on AiA. I can't find much, darn it. I was hoping to find HIS website, but mostly I'm finding commercial crap.
But I came across an interesting page of criticism of the show: UltraBrown http://www.ultrabrown.com/posts/stereotyping-for-fun-and-profit#comment-6388
After reading it thoroughly, including the comments, I felt compelled to add my worthless opinion, too. Here it is:
Ok, look, I'm an old, white, American lady. I grew up in Los Angeles, among just about every race on the planet. And I loved it. And I miss it.
The ridiculous xenophobia, racism, fundamentalism I've seen in the past, 7 years makes me sick. I find it so silly, pointless and wasteful.
I ALMOST didn't watch the first episode of AiA, because I thought SURE it would be Amos & Andy.
Now, I can't fine tune accents, apparal, facial hair, etc.
WHAT'S FUNNY, TO ME is how the writers TOTALLY bust middle American ignorance. "Apu, where's my slushy?" is NOT funny because it's a racist stereotype of brown people. It's FUNNY because MANY complacent Americans, who actually BELIEVE commercial media, have NO OTHER EXPOSURE to brown people!
We can't be BOTHERED to learn about people against whom we've declared war, even! Correction: illegally invaded. The military recruits in schools like the one portrayed in AiA. And kids from schools like that go on to become CIA, FBI, etc. We sent our soldiers to Afganistan with an outdated and ignorant how-to-interface-with-the-locals handbook. We didn't SPEAK THE LANGUAGES of Afganistan, Iraq, etc.!
Yeah, the kid's over-the-top, a bit. But he's portrayed as sincere, enthusiastic, GENUINELY respectful & loving, and quite nerdy. He's not stupid, angry, suspicious, arrogant. In other words, he's a regular kid, a bit on the nice side, thrown in with a school full of potential predators. AND HE DISARMS THEM! For me, this show is rather a relief.
I was BEATEN, after 9/11, by a bunch of teens on a city bus. Why? It was a rainy day. I was wearing long sleeves, floor-length skirt and a scarf, tightly wound around my hair and neck. They thought I was a terrorist.
Can we afford to damn this show right now? CAN WE WRITE, PRODUCE, DIRECT, & PORTRAY SOMETHING BETTER? I think THAT's a reasonable solution!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Now, look. I've needed help from people. But I went about it in a sane and rational way.
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Sunday, November 18, 2007
I transcribe these for Paul Ingles, http://paulingles.com every month. Usually, if there's a noteable one, I'll put it in my radio blog.
But this one pertains to poverty.
KHAMISA: At that stage, I was angry, but I wasn’t angry with the kids. I think I was angry at American society. I felt we had failed our responsibility to our kids, because they join gangs to get respect, protection and belonging. We must do more so those kids do not have to join gangs. I wrote several articles. I’ve also written a book. I have voiced my anger, not to the kid who actually took my son’s life, but to society, as a whole.
BOSS: I read an article you wrote, a couple of months after your son’s death, on your foundation’s website [ http://www.tkf.org ]. You drove to Mammoth Mountain in Southern California. You’d gone to spend a few days in solitude and reflection. Can you tell us what came of that experience?
KHAMISA: According to the Sufi tradition – I’m a practicing Muslim of the Sufi tradition, which is a metaphysical interpretation if Islam – we have prayers for the dead at the funeral and ten days, thirteen days, forty days and prayers every year and prayers every year afterward. The most significant are the forty days prayers. At the forty-day prayers, my spiritual mentor counseled me. According to the Sufi tradition, it ends the grieving period. I was told that the spirit, or the soul, of the departed person stays in close proximity for the forty days, which are allocated for grieving. After the forty days, the soul moves on to a new consciousness, in preparation for the forward journey. Because souls do not die. I like to think of my son as not dead, but at home, or in a different dimension. I was counseled that excessive grieving after the forty days, by friends and family members, would impede the soul’s journey. I was counseled that, instead of grieving, I should do good deeds. Good deeds, done in the name of the departed, are spiritual currency, high-octane fuel, for the soul of the departed for the forward journey.
It was in Mammoth, about three and a half months after my son’s death, that I got the inspiration to start the foundation. I thought that the enemy here was not the killer of my son. Rather, it was the societal forces that forced a young, African American man into a gang at the age of eleven. To prove himself to the gang, he killed my son. If I was able to solve that problem – so kids would not have to join gangs to gain respect, protection or belonging – then, we would improve society.
The foundation just celebrated its twelfth anniversary. It amazes me, how well the foundation has done.
BOSS: Let’s talk about some of the programs. On the web for the TKF Foundation, the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, it reads, “Empowering kids, saving lives, teaching peace.” There are several school-based, violence-prevention education programs. Talk to us about one of them, “Violence Impact Forum.” I know it’s for students from fourth to ninth grade.
KHAMISA: Violence Impact Forum is a live assembly. We have a video, which we have developed, where the murder scene has been reenacted. The kids first look at the video and then we are introduced. We are on stage, live, Ples [Felix] and I, as, “This man’s grandson killed this man’s son. Here they are, as brothers.” Then, I give my testimony. Ples gives his testimony. We then have panel members, male and female, both ex-gang members. They have powerful stories. Then, we engage the kids into a Q & A. It’s a very intensive, emersive, hard-hitting, reality-based encounter. It always amazes me. There’s on fidgeting. There’s pin-drop silence. Very often, I’ll ask the audience, “How many of you have lost family members, as a result of violence?” It breaks my heart when three quarters of the hands go up. We have six, key messages which we try to impart in these live assemblies.
BOSS: One of them is, “You can make good and nonviolent choices.” In this era of violent, media images, which are so pervasive in this culture, and so attractive to youth, how is this message presented in a way appeals to young students?
KHAMISA: You’re right. The violence is extremely pervasive. We are, by far, the most violent, first world nation in the world. I started with a simple premise: violence is a learned behavior. Nobody was born violent. None of our children was born violent. If you accept that violence is a learned behavior, then nonviolence can also be a learned behavior. Who teaches it? At TKF, we teach it. Let me answer your question by an example.
After the Violence Impact Forum, we plant a garden. It’s a very healing thing. We plant a tree in memory of my son. For all the family members the kids have lost, they plant flowering plants. This becomes an alter for them to visit. It also becomes a very visible presence of our program on campus. It reminds them of the key messages we taught.
After that, we have another program called, “Ending the Cycle of Violence.” We’ve created six, multimedia vignettes, around our six, key messages. One example would be that we have a lesson on empathy. It’s a big word in many of these schools. We usually have a theme, “I don’t know you until I walk a mile in your shoes. You don’t know me until you’ve walked a mile in mine.”
It was a seventh grader. His name was Alex. He had all the signs: the swear, the encounter, the colors. You could see the gang member, written all over this kid. Somehow, this lesson on empathy got to him. The homework is that they have to practice empathy for the whole week. The week after, before they get their lesson on compassion, they’re asked to share their homework on empathy. When the teacher asked, “Who wants to share the lesson on empathy,” it was Alex. Remember, this was the most disruptive kid in the class. What he shared was very powerful.
He said, “I was walking in my ‘hood last weekend. This kid gave me a dirty, angry look. The rules of the ‘hood are, if a kid looks at you like that, you go beat him up. Because you taught me, ‘You don’t know me until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, and I don’t know YOU until I walk a mile in YOURS,’ I walked up to this kid and said, ‘Why are you giving me a dirty look?’
“The kid said to me, ‘I’m not giving YOU a dirty look. I’m angry. My brother was shot and killed last night.’”
We asked, “What did you do, Alex?”
He said, “I held his hand. We cried together. I gave him a hug. I told him, ‘I know how you feel, because I lost my uncle six months ago.’”
One lesson! When you think that this kid walks the ‘hood, every weekend. Tell me you can’t teach nonviolence. There’s more power in this. What could have become a fight became a compassionate action.
One of the key messages we teach is that, from conflict, love and unity are possible. I talk about the fact that I would never have met Ples, if his grandson had not taken the life of my son. Ples is African American. My roots are Eastern. Azim is Persian/East Indian name. I’m a Muslim. Ples grew up as a Christian. And he’s as close to me as my own brother. We hang. In fact, I’m having dinner with him tonight. He has met my entire family; I’ve met his. We have this love for each other. I cannot even put it in words. I always tell him that he helps me carry my load; I help him carry his. We are water bearers for each other.
I always tell people, “I want you to notice something here. This is not Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., meeting Gandhi. This is an investment banker, meeting a green beret. Ples was a green beret. The point I’m trying to make is that, if he and I can do it, we can all do it. I think that is very teachable.”
The President of the Foundation, Mark Fackler, always says, “If TKF is successful in meeting its mandate, the only outcome can be world peace.” Kids are our future leaders. If we can teach them, now, that from conflict you create your brother or sister, you create love and unity – if you apply the principles of nonviolent peace making and forgiveness – maybe, someday, we’ll have world peace.
BOSS: Let me ask you about Tony Hicks, the fourteen-year-old who killed your son. From what I understand, he’s still in prison. You met him in prison. Could you describe that experience?
KHAMISA: It was five years after the tragedy. It took me many hours of meditation. I’d met his grandfather and guardian at nine months. It’s a whole, new equation, to come eyeball to eyeball with the person who actually pulled the trigger on your son. I could tell, when I first met him when he was nineteen years old. I was thinking, as I was walking up the steps of the prison to meet him, that I was not going to like this kid who took the life of my one and only son. When I met him, I was quite surprised. He did not portray typical attitudes of a nineteen-year-old in our culture. On the contrary, he was remorseful, well mannered, and soft-spoken. I could see that my forgiveness of him had also transformed him. Quite frankly, when I looked deeply in his eyes, I did not see a murderer there. I saw another soul, just like me.
He was eleven, when he joined the gang. He ran away at fourteen. The same day he left his house – where his grandfather loved him – he joined his homeboys. They drank a lot of alcohol. They smoked a lot of drugs – a lot of pot. When they got hungry, they wanted to jack the pizza deliveryman. Somebody put a gun in Tony’s hand. Take a fourteen-year-old, in our society, who is angry, who has run away, who is now high on alcohol and drugs, and give him a gun. Is that a recipe for disaster, or what? Then think: how often does that happen? It happens a lot!
Not only did I forgive him, I went the extra step by telling him, “Tony, when you come out of prison, you have a job at the Khamisa Foundation. You can come work with your grandfather and me.” I gave him an opportunity to redeem himself.
What’s amazing about this story is that he has exactly done that. He just turned twenty-seven; his birthday is September 22. Two years ago, he aced his G.E.D. in prison at the sixty percentile, self-taught. He’s now doing counseling courses, learning Spanish (because we work with a lot of Hispanics here). He reads five books a month, and this kid used to hate to read. He knows that he can’t be about gangbanging, drugs and violence, if he’s going to work with the Foundation, teaching kids about the principles of peace making and nonviolence.
I’ve written a letter to our governor in California, to see if he would consider commuting Tony’s sentence, because I would hire him. I think he would serve society a lot better, working with the Foundation, trying to keep kids away from making the same, fatal mistakes he did – rather than just serving time in an adult prison.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Ma is completely irrational now. I can tell, when I'm speaking to her, that she doesn't comprehend what I'm saying, that it's getting all twisted and garbled in her mind. What little feedback she gives tells me this.
In addition to her inability to: hear, understand or remember what I'm saying, she's expressing some SERIOUS paranoid delusions about me.
She thinks that, because I've gone to some friends about my concerns, I'm bad mouthing her, embarrassing her and sabbotaging her. Actually, I'm seeking impartial feedback from them. Is it over-reaction, for instance, that I'm afraid of Ma because she said, "Contact my lawyer?" She won't let me speak to her when she's in her room, so I've sent email, which she hasn't read. When I asked her, repeatedly, how I can communicate with her when she's in her room, she refused to answer and finally said, "contact my lawyer."
She said she was joking. The tone of voice was threatening. How was that funny? Frightening me, threatening me with a lawyer is FUNNY? Am I over reacting? My friends say I am not.
She has violated her contract, again, about when she will move out. Now, she wants to move out in spring.
First, it was 3 years; then, it was 1 year. Now this.
She has upped the date because I went to my friends for counsel.
She's accusing me of other things, too. If she were CORRECT about my motives, I would have to be a violent, irresponsible sociopath to behave as she's accusing me. The smallest mistake -- such as putting a can of soda over the lattice across her bedroom door, which popped open when it landed on the floor -- is "evidence" of how destructive and dangerous I am!
If I protest, if I raise my voice in absolute panic and distress over these accusations, she sees it as further proof of what a "crazy bitch," "obstinate bitch," "stupid bitch" I am.
If I can get her to follow a train of logic long enough for her to begin to be aware of how ludicrous, outlandish and irrational her delusions are, she either gets right in my face, if I don't grant her easy escape, or RUNS to her room to shut the door on me! She WILL NOT acknowledge that her accusations are unfair. She WILL NOT acknowledge that I'm perfectly rational to feel upset and frightened by them.
If she really believes I'm such an irresponsible, violent, criminal (yes, she calls me that, too, and a "bad neighbor and citizen:), sociopathic person, might she not "defend" herself against me, physically, if she feels threatened?
I'm beginning to suspect neurotoxins. She takes MASSIVE quantities of vitamins and herbal suppliments.
I'm also wondering if she's developing alzheimers.
Far worse, and more dangerous for me, her siblings posthumously diagnosed her very violent and abusive father with bipolar disease. I don't know whether he really was or not. But he abused, molested and terrified ALL of them, throughout their childhoods.
Ma has had one "manic" episode, in the past. It sounds like it was quite severe, and that she was quite irrational and disfunctional.
I'm afraid she could hurt me. She's bigger and stronger than I. She's a black belt in several martial arts. She has access to weapons.
If I had the financial resources, I'd throw her out of here right now.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I'm not allowed to speak to her, when she's in her bedroom. I have to email her from elsewhere in the house. This, and the following, post are examples.
Frankly, I'd prefer not to have to speak to her.
As I drove her to work today, she refused to speak to me because she has a sore throat. She said I should email her. I told her I've sent more than five emails this morning alone and hadn't received replies to any of them. I still haven't.
She refuses to flush toilet paper, presumably for environmental reasons. But she'll throw recycleables into the trash, with her soiled toilet paper?
I see you've put an empty sunblock container in the
bathroom trash, along with your shitty toilet paper.
I'll have to fetch it out, to put it in recycling. I'd
appreciate it if you didn't put bathroom recycleables
in that trash. I don't wany your shit on my hands.
Last night, I told you I wanted you to dump the
bathroom trash into the farthest container on the
street, in front of our neighbor's house. I then said
that there is a piece of chicken wire, next to the
trash barrel there. I wanted you to cover the bathroom
trash with that chicken wire, to prevent shitty toilet
paper from flying all over the street, when they pick
up the container today.
It's a good thing I needed to put some old food from
the refrigerator in the trash this morning. I saw the
chicken wire, on the sidewalk in front of our
neighbor's place, and put it in the container. I don't
want bad feelings with my neighbors, and would
appreciate your cooperation in that effort.
When you agree to do something and then don't follow
through, I feel very distrustful of you. It's very
stressful to have to follow you around to see that
you've kept your commitments. I don't need the extra
work or emotional stress
I've been with Ma 3 yrs. Knew she was a mtf when we got involved.
Actually, she was intersexed, designated male by family. Her story is
further unique in that she castrated herself when she was 13, all
alone. She's closeted, so I can't talk to anybody, really, about
what's going on.
She has systematically excluded me from her life over the past, 3
years. After 1 year, we were no longer intimate. I tolerated that, as
I love her. I don't know if I'd hoped things would improve in time,
or if I was just willing to settle.
But things have deteriorated. I honestly believe she sees me as
second class and that I'm not a priority in her life, emotionally,
I helped her finish her bachelors degree. I wasn't allowed to talk to
her while she was studying or doing anything work related. I did most
of the household chores, including her laundry, meals, etc. I was her
volunteer research assistant, editor, etc. for school.
Last summer, she said she didn't want to live with me anymore. This
was less than a month after her graduation.
I said that I've put up with her special requirements for three
years, in order that she complete her degree. Her needs have been the
primary focus of the household. I said I deserved three years, back,
in order that we might improve our relationship/friendship/whatever.
I got sick and couldn't do the outside chores fast enough to suit the
landlady. We got an eviction notice in August, with a move out date
of Oct. 31, today. I've packed, moved and unpacked almost every item
from the house and cleaned the property, sick.
During the move, she announce she will only live with me long enough
for me to establish the household. Then, she'll move out and I'll
need a roommate. This will happen in about ONE year, she said. I was
She resents every bit of work she has done, related to the move, that
was NOT about her personal items, directly. She takes it out on me in
very passive aggressive and indirect way. For some event, totally
unrelated to the move, she'll behave shabbily toward me. I'll ask why
she's treating me this way and she'll reply with something oblique
like, "you're high maintanance." Compared to her, I certainly am not.
So, I'll ask her to elaborate, and she'll voice her resentment at
packing my stuff!
We just moved to a new place.
Last night, she announced that she will move out if she
feels "unhappy." She feels unhappy, most of the time. She's a
compulsive overeater. She has body dysmorphia. She's emotionally
repressed. She's chronically depressed. I suggested she look for a
therapist, but she says that's not a priority right now.
Mostly, she's unhappy when she treats me like I'm second class, and I
have the nerve to call her on it and expect to be treated as an equal.
I am disabled and low income. I'm neither as strong nor as
economically secure as she. Now, any time I dare to ask her to do
such things as: not leave used toilet paper on the bathroom floor,
listen to what I'm saying, consult with me before she makes major
decisions that affect me, do her chores..... she threatens to move
out because she's not happy.
She's becoming VERY verbally abusive. She does and says things she
KNOWS provoke me, to try to get me angry enough so she can threaten
to move out. She ignores me when I speak. She makes lots of noise
when I'm sleeping. She won't grant me access to her bedroom, even
though the internet connections and other, vital things are hoarded
there. I'm not allowed to speak to her when she's in her bedroom and
must EMAIL HER from elsewhere in the house!
Basically: she's ACTING LIKE A MAN and I'm sick of it!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Well, I guess I can say we’re officially moved in to our new place: a 2-bedroom duplex near Kirtland Air Force Base. It’s a quiet street. We have a pretty large yard, with concrete walls.
Our neighbors in the front pester us constantly: staring at us, calling the landlady to complain about nonexistent problems, parking in our yard and driveway… creepy stuff. They’re trying to get out of paying their own rent, and are constantly citing reasons, as unsubstantiated as they are. We ignore them, whenever possible.
I have to make one, more trip back to the old place. I have to get my outdoor plants, some cans of paint nobody from Freecycle would take, some tools & cleaning supplies. I need to rake, clean the floor and clean the refrigerator.
After three years and an accumulated $18,000 rent, the landlady there couldn’t let me clean the yards at my own speed. I’ve told her I’m running a constant fever, that my teeth have caused a systemic infection, that I require oral surgery to remove dead teeth from my mouth. I was cleaning, but it wasn’t fast enough for her.
It’s not like it’s an upper middle class neighborhood, dwelling, etc. There’s so MUCH wrong with that house, I wouldn’t know where to start. Basically, repairs are all half assed and slap dash and there are NO right angles: floors, walls, and ceilings…. Ma and I can’t figure out WHY she thinks this place is so la-dee-dah.
I’ve built 2 sheds in the back of this place, for my chickens (apx. 6 of them, but they run so fast, who can count?), ducks (one pekin, one muskovie, both males – less quacky) and the goats, of course.
Tall bamboo surrounds most of the yard. I need to trim it, as much is over 15 ft. tall and tangling in power lines.
I’m building a 10 x 16 ft. patio enclosure off the kitchen door, so I can smoke outside without freezing, grow some plants, and store some kitchen stuff I don’t use often.
I’m investigating the possibility of keeping a colony of honeybees, too. This whole colony collapse thing has me worried. Maybe I can help by raising some healthy bees?
I haven’t written here consistently since I was volunteering regularly at KUNM, three years ago. The main reason is that a staff member, whom I knew pretty well, backslid into her cocaine addiction, began harassing me and was reading this blog CONSTANTLY, so she could email threats to me! She wasn’t just threatening me; she was threatening Ma, so I stopped writing. I ran into her at a grocery the other day; her mom is still paying for her, to keep her from hitting bottom and recovering. She has HUGE, dark circles under her eyes.
She asked me, “are you still afraid of me?”
I answered, “Yes.”
She said, “but that was YEARS ago!”
I said, “And I never got an apology.” As far as I know, she’s still out to get me and needs to be avoided.
But I think I should start writing again, anyway.
The move has been pretty exhausting. We bought an old Penske rental truck with a 10 ft. box on the back. That REALLY helped! It has a ramp and everything. Still moving is painful and I am really sick. I can’t wait to give our old neighbors, the Sernas, the keys to that place and drive away for the last time!
Now I’m off to find coffee; I got up at 4am today: not too unusual, but still…
Sunday, August 26, 2007
To all participants in Albuquerque Freecycle http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FreecycleABQ/
I'm a private citizen, not a big box store. Respect my privacy.
If you agree to pick up an item, arrive on time. If you can't make the appointment, email me. Otherwise, I'll be sitting outside, in the heat or cold, waiting for you. My time and health are more valuable than that. You don't get to just stroll in, at your leasure.
Don't ask about other: items, animals, vehicles, people, structures on my property. My contract with you is for specific items. There's no window shopping. You can ask me if I have something specific you need, but I probably don't, if you didn't see it posted in Freecycle.
Other items you may see, sitting out, are my business. They may be for other Freecyclers. They may be junk. They may be my idea of exterior decorating. It doesn't matter to you. Don't ask if you can have them.
My personal history isn't your concern. I don't have to answer questions about my personal life. It's not your busines to question me. I don't know you. You are a stranger, and a guest at my home. Behave yourself accordingly. I don't need to worry that you're "casing the joint."
You CANNOT use my restroom. Plan your bathroom trips before you arrive. You may drink water from my garden hose; I will not invite you into my house. NEVER wander around my property without my permission and personal escort. I will call the police.
Do NOT spam my email in box with half a dozen or more messages. Think about the questions you want to ask me, before you hit "siend." DO NOT demand that I send you a reminder email or make a phone call because you can't keep a persoal calendar to remember our appointment. Keep the directions to my house & our appointment time; do not delete them. I don't like giving out my phone number, usually; I only do so on a case-by-case basis. You don't need to know who I am.
I give clear directions to my house. If you don't understand west from east, left from right, etc, you need to use an online mapping service, or a friend, to help you get here.
Bring whatever containers, tools, gloves, transportation, tie-downs, help you need. I cannot provide them, unless I've specifically stated that in my Freecycle ad.
Play nice and I will do the same. Otherwise, you'll go on my "list," and I'll never respond to your requests again.
Friday, August 24, 2007
OFFER: Corrugated metal OLD TOWN
2' sheets, apx. 10' long. 5 of them. These were used, when I got them.They have some minor tears and minor rust. They're screwed onto my shedwall. I have a cordless drill with attachments which you can borrow.I need the taker to remove them. Each is held on with less than 10 hex.screws. Not a difficult job, but I MUST save my strength for this move!You should probably come EARLY (6-8am) in the morning, or late in theevening. This steel is exposed to sun, most of the day, and gets hotenough to fry meat on.Bring: gloves, pick up truck. These aren't heavy. Most people can carryat least 1 sheet; I can carry 3 at a time. Close to the street, so nota long walk with them.
TAKEN, PPU: Sewing machine
For somebody's granddaughter, who wants to learn to sew. If she can learn on THIS machine, she'll be able to sew on ANY machine!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
If you don't know about freecycle, it's a yahoo group, all over the country, dedicated to keeping stuff out of the landfills by recycling it to others who need it. It's sorted by geographical location. The albuquerque group has about FOUR THOUSAND subscribers. If you need something, or want to get rid of something without throwing it away, this is the place for you.
OH, by the way, PPU means Pending Pick Up.
OFFER: Books Old Town
Fiction & non. How to's, literature, social sciences. Many feminist orlocal or historical or queer or....ecclectic interests.They'll be available starting Friday, as it'll take a coupla days toget them out to the storage shed.
OFFER: 2 unsightly, double-burner hot plates OLD TOWN
Great designs: hot pans, hanging over burners, cracked the knobs onone. The other one has been cleaned so many times, I've rubbed thepaint off. Obviously designed by people who'd never use them. They workGREAT. They're just ugly.
OFFER: World's ugliest drier --electric OLD TOWN
It's kinda scab red. Some kid hung on the door, so you have to keep itshut with a strong magnet. It needs the "pigtail" wire, which you canfind at any hardware store for about fifteen bucks. Got it from aneighbor who swears it works great.
OFFER: Ugly, little chickens OLD TOWN
I don't yet know if they're roosters or hens. They're a motley crew ofhalf breed muts. If you can catch em, you can have em.
OFFER: vinyl LPs OLD TOWN
No collector's items here: cats scratched the backs, so they won't sellfor much. Jazz, '70s rock, classical. Obscure artists like DeniseWilliams, who was discovered by Stevie Wonder. One Donna Summer, to myunending embarrassment.If you lay them over flower pots in the sun, they melt into a pot-shapefor house plants.Crappy frisbees; tend to crack.Good for leveling crooked table legs.
OFFER: Mystery microwave: Does it or doesn't it? OLD TOWN
Work, that is. I think it blew a fuse. I know the turntable motor isdead, but can be replaced. I blew up a bowl of chili inside, so it'sdecorated with chili jerky.Inside is barely large enough for a small chicken (no, not the ugly,little ones, I'm giving away.)Any obsessive compulsive tinkerers out there?
OFFER: unfinished needlework kits. OLD TOWN
Some cross stitch, lotsa needlepoint, a few of those what are theycalled? crewel? things: embroidering with yarn.When I was 20 yrs. younger, I had a horrible job. It was either doneedle work, or become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, I bore easily,so I seldom finished any. I have a filing cabinet full. gag.
OFFER: Billyuns & billyuns of glass jars OLD TOWN
They're salsa, pnut butter, etc. jars, with lids. I used them for myhomemade salsa. If nobody takes em, I'll haul them to the recyclingplace, so the Chinese can melt them down and resell them to us at wallyworld, or something. Free, dead spiders included in some jars.
OFFER: decent potting soil OLD TOWN
I'm moving with my containers, but not the dirt. I probably have acoupla hundred lbs. And, if you'd like, I'll throw in some goat- andchicken-poopy straw, for extra nitrogen. Yummy! Has some shreddedpaper, rocks and styrofoam peanuts mixed in, but that's good for theroots. I just can't lug my dirt across town again for this next move.I'll make more when I get there. Plants died in this hideous heat,anyway. sigh
OFFER: Inflatable snowman with busted fan OLD TOWN
Ripstop nylon, lighted, almost as tall as I am, and slightly fatter.Fan's busted, but here's what I did when my Halloween "Tigger" had thesame disease: I stuffed it with those packing pillows and bubble wrap.The light shines thru just fine and, frankly, the extra weight of thepacking materials keeps it from flying to Texas on windy days.So, if you need an inflatable snowman that doesn't inflate, I'm yourgal.
OFFER: Pallets OLD TOWN
I made goat fences outta em. Some are 6' long. Most are 5x5 or less.Great for alienating the Neighborhood Association.
OFFER: lotsa pens & pencils OLD TOWN
I don't know how I got so many of the lil stinkers, but if you knowsomeone who needs to write stuff a lot, I got yer back.
TAKEN, PPU: unfinished needlework kits. OLD TOWN
Going to a nursing home, to keep old people off the streets. THANKS!
OFFER: color tv OLD TOWN
Has a rabbit ear antenna hook up. You can buy one of those adapters tocoax cable, though, to attach it to a vcr, etc. That way, you can use aremote to change channels. Otherwise, you might ACTUALLY have to getsome exercise, get off the couch, walk to the TV and change the channel(gasp) by hand.Worked, last time I plugged it in. Has a pretty big screen, for an oldfart. Don't know dimensions, off hand.It's on top of a fridge I'm giving away, so the sooner you get it, thehappier I'll be.
OFFER: Dog House, in pieces OLD TOWN
It's huge. The base is about 8x4'. It's white press board, chip boardand 2x4s. We got it off another freecycler. Had to take apart, to fitin my big truck!Was hoping to reassemble for my goats, but, now that we're having tomove, I ain't takin it with me.It's a jigsaw puzzle, but, if you fix it up, it'll CERTAINLY keepanimals warm! Big enuff for the KIDS!!!
OFFER: Roll of roofing tar OLD TOWN
Got this off another freecycler. Was gonna reroof the huge dog house.Since that's going, this has got to go. White gravel, black tar paper,new roll.
OFFER: very orange, plastic construction fencing OLD TOWN
Good for keeping chickens out of stuff or in something. Very durableand doesn't rot in the sun. Had it for years, don't need it any more.It's about 4' tall and I have enough to pretty much wrap around mywhole, front yard.
TAKEN: tv, jars, spiders, pens & pencils, needlework, LPs, roofing,
And thanks to those of you who simply sent fan mail, because I made youlaugh. There will be more dead spiders, soon.
TAKEN: orange construction fence
Man, you guys'll take anything....
TAKEN, PPU: inflatable snowman
Well, THAT's a relief!
OFFER: incredibly worthless comforters/blankets OLD TOWN
They have thick, kapok batting that would be great for quilters whoaren't fussy. Or, just sew 2 sheets together to make a duvet cover. Ifyall don't take em, I'm throwing em at homeless people under the bridge.I also have some polyester blankets, kinda fuzzy.Don't ask what sizes; I have no idea.
OFFER: foam futon thingy that folds into chair/spiderman print OLD T
Incredibly ugly, but worked as futon pad. Several blocks of thick foamrubber, with a round "pillow/backrest" piece at the top.
OFFER: weird assortment of dishes & mugs OLD TOWN
Mostly, I have a stack of glass plates, but I have several, largerdinner plates, too. I have about 6 coffee mugs. I also have atremendously-unnecessary collection of plastic camping dishes and mugsand those tall Coke drink containers, like you get at the takeoutplaces.
OFFER: foam couch cushions, OLD TOWN
USed em as the back to my futon couch. about 3" thick. No covers, justfoam.
OFFER: 2 black, "iron" looking metal futon frames OLD TOWN
One has some screws loose, but who doesn't, really? It was obviouslyused by a VERY heavy person, or a bed jumper, as it's a little bendy inthe middle. The other one is just fine. I've slept & sat on both andlived to tell. When covered with padding, who cares, anyway?
OFFER: Useless bicycles, 2 adult, 2 itsy bitsy OLD TOWN
The little ones are pink & purple huffys, with white tires.The bigger ones are so-called, "Mountain" bikes, with screwed up brakeand/or gear levers. Frames ok, but.... great for tinkerers.
OFFER: stumps & logs OLD TOWN
I used them for cat scratching posts and decorations in my yard. Hardto split for wood. None over 2' tall. Good decorations, but I'mevicted, so they gotta go
TAKEN, PPU: spiderman futon, foam cushions, stumps & logs
Now, it's a challenge: what weird stuff can I find around this housethat yall will want? WHEW!I think I'm gonna let yall take most of my stuff & just get more onfreecycle, after we move. Why haul it around town?
TAKEN, PPU: itsy bitsy bikes
But the adult bikes still haunt me.
TAKEN, PPU: not bendy in the middle futon frame
Who's up for the bendy one? I swear: you CAN sleep on it! We've slept on it while camping.
TAKEN, PPU: Adult BIkes YIPPEEEEEEE!!
Apparantly, people in the east mtns. read and tinker a lot.
OFFER: Sliding windows & Glass Door OLD TOWN
This one breaks my heart. These are nice windows, got em off other freecyclers. The sliding glass door is attached easily to my porch and you'll have to help me get it down and apart.
The other 2 windows are about 5' tall. one's black and about five feet wide the other one's a lot wider and it's plexiglass.
I was going to use them to "greenhouse" my goat & chicken shed this winter. Dang.
I HATE getting evicted! Trying to find a cheap house that'll take 2 goats is a real job.
I'd throw in the landlord for free, if I could, but I don't think you'd like it.
TAKEN, PPU: worthless blankets & comforters
You're a very sporting crowd.
OFFER: Pekin Ducks, OLD TOWN
I posted this on craigslist, as I wanted to require a small adoption fee, as I DON'T want these ducks eaten or abused. They can't live with dogs. They need a small pool, no more than about 4" tall, without bricks to step up on.
I have 3 females: PeeWee, Molly and Dolly
I have 3 males: Lucky, Plucky and Herman
They're shy of people, but fun to watch. The females quack loudest. Lucky's 3 years old, but the others are under 1 year.
They eat duck, dog, people, cat, dog, chicken food. They're quite fond of melons and mushy fruits. They'll need a dog house or some protection. They do fine in cold winters, even swimming in icy water.
These are my friends and I'll miss them very much. So, please, don't reply unless you're willing to commit some effort into some very lovely creatures. You need a fenced yard that dogs can't enter. DON'T try to keep them inside; they poop compulsively! No cages!
OFFER: apx. 1 doz. quart bottles of "Sno Bowl" toilet cleaner OLD TOWN
I found these in a dumpster, outside a dollar store. They smell kinda perfumy and they turn the water blue. They're good for disolving mineral deposits. Never used em much, but a whole case? in a DUMPSTER??? so, take as many as you need. the bottles are a little dirty, as they've been stored outside. They even have some ancient chicken poopies on some of them. We can haul them into the front yard and spray em with the garden hose.
OFFER: odd assortment of 1 gal. cans, house paints OLD TOWN
Most are latex, some are oil. indoor, outdoor. Got them from Rinchem, the place you take toxic chemicals. They let people take em on Fris and Sats, in the afternoon. Was gonna paint my truck & the dog house.
Some cans incomplete, most have been opened. LOTS of colors. More than 2 doz cans
TAKEN, PPU: toilet cleaner
You'd think our toilet would be a lot cleaner than it is, considering how much of this I had laying around! Guess you actually have to USE it, though.
TAKEN, PPU: my house paint collection
a couple of you are coming to pick thru it. If anything is left, I'll repost after the weekend.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
So, it's "crazy" to ride a moped -- or, perhaps, a scooter? -- to work, huh? My scooter gets NINETY MILES PER GALLON! And my electric bicycle is even MORE green, than that. BOTH can pull trailers with a hundred pound payload. I only pay $75/year insurance on my scooter, and nothing on the electric bicycle.
"Crazy:" a pajorative for someone with a mental disability. Like the mentally ill don't get stigmatized, enough, already????
Wal*Mart buys Chinese products, made by near slaves. They pollute in HUGE volumes. They underpay workers 'til they need food stamps!
I'll tell you what's crazy: shopping at WallyWorld! BOYCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
He invokes Jane Fonda, of all people. Jane Fonda: tomahawk chop, exercise video and, now "Christian" self-promoting opportunist.
And John Kerry was just the flip side of Bush: elitist, privileged pretty boy.
And the fact that the whole thing was some sort of apologia for Hillary? She voted FOR the Iraq invasion, did she not? Don't get me started.
So, the Dixiecrat pundits and spinners have finally developed a spine? Now that seventy percent of the population opposes the wars, Bush and Congress?
Where were they years ago, before WE killed more Americans in invasive wars than died in 9/11? Where were they when our budget surplus was SQUANDERED for the likes of Halliburton and Lockeed Martin?
Imbedded sychofants; that's who and where they were.
Do I trust MSNTV? No. Do I trust middle aged, privileged white guys in suits, even if they wear pink (how ironic!) ties? No.
I think for myself. And I think I'll STILL vote the Green Party ticket.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
My posted comment to http://recallmarty.com
"fucksmoking" represents the elitist attitude embodied by Marty: anybody who even APPEARS to be less-than upper middle class must be disappeared from the streets of Disneyquerque. You can now be arrested for sitting too long at a bus stop. You can be arrested for SMOKING at a bus stop. You can be arrested for being addicted on public transportation. You can lose your house for having ONE WEED that's ove 4" tall in your yard; the city will condemn your house and sell it, if you refuse/can't comply. You can be held criminally liable for animal abuse if there are flies, bees or ants in your yard!
ALL of these laws are SELECTIVELY enforced, and city government openly admits that. If your neighbor wants to persecute you, the city will gleefully comply.
It happened to me. I lost my home, my pets, most of my belongings and everything in my bank acc't. when my house was "condemned" as "substandard," after a persecution campaign by the neighborhood CIA (community improvement association.)
Was I selling drugs? Was I running an auto garage or salvage yard from my house? No.
I opened my home to the neighborhood kids. I helped them with their homework, their abusive & neglectful family members. I gave them food, clothing, school supplies. I taught them: cooking, gardening, animal husbandry, auto repair, carpentry..... I took them to museums, planetariums, parks, nature preserves...
For this, the gang unit was called on me. The POLICE wrote a report in which they said I was a "paranoid scizophrenic and self-proclaimed witch" (I'd said I was a curandera.) I was immediately homeless. I was FORCED into an ambulance for a psychiatric evaluation. I was billed $400.00 for the ambulance. My animals were destroyed. Neigbhors broke in and stole most of my possessions, including my check book. Nobody in the neighborhood would rent to me. I had 15 days to pack, only during daylight hours. If I was seen there after dark, I'd be arrested for "trespass."
No drugs, guns or other suspicious crap was ever found on the property or my person.
THIS is selective enforcement.
By the way, you can't smoke a cigarette, from what the signs say, within 100' of the door to a business. Most places I shop (not big box stores), there are other business entrances, less than 100' from each other. Where can employees smoke on break? I've also heard it's illegal to smoke in your parked car at a business parking lot!
Marty isn't getting those Armani suits for nothin', folks. Who's paying him to turn this town into Disneyquerque?http://rriverstone.com
Thursday, April 26, 2007
These are my replies to the Program Director of KUNM.
I realize you're very busy, with many facts and details which you must remember. So, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, and assuming you've forgotten I have PTSD.
"Paranoid" is one of many psychiatric terms which are frequently misused, in popular culture, as epithets. This furthers the stigmatization of, and discrimination against, people with physical disabilities that have been diagnosed as "psychiatric."
It is inappropriate for any supervisor to use psychiatric terminology in such a casual way with a subordinate, especially one who is challenged by psychiatric stigmatization, such as I.
Further, I wasn't being paranoid; I was asking for clarification.
I was also asking to be addressed with respect. Your reply indicates I can't trust you to do that, and I find it frustrating, frightening and discouraging.
Your reply was still unclear, and I still don't know why you've objected to my post to the ideas list.
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), is unlikely to help much, despite its aim of eliminating discrimination in employment against people with disabilities, including alleged psychiatric disabilities. As Jonas Robitscher, J.D., M.D., said in his book The Powers of Psychiatry prior to the enactment of the ADA: "The disclosure that one is or has been mentally ill can lead to rejection, and other reasons for the rejection can always be found. ... Forcing private employers to hire the disabled would raise issues of invasion of privacy and problems of enforcement. Stigmatization will continue to be a problem, and discrimination will continue to exist" (p. 241-242). In areas covered by the ADA, availing oneself of its protection will probably require large amounts of time spent in litigation and a lot of money paid in lawyer's fees, with uncertain results.
From: Rogi Riverstone
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007 10:43 PM>
Subject: RE: [KUNMIDEAS-L] kunm.org/psa/ page has> misinformation.> >
"Bring something like" what?> > I have no idea why you object to my post, nor do I> see> you offer any alternative remedies.> >
I suppose I must "obey" you, simply because you've> told me to, but I don't know: why, how. I'd> appreciate> a little respect, rather than demands of arbitrary> obedience.> > Is it because Dean doesn't work there anymore?> Because, if that's your objection, the information> should have been removed from the page very long> ago,> and was public record. I simply quoted a public> website. So, I see nothing untoward that I've done.> >
-----Original Message-----> > From: Gather ideas from KUNM volunteers> > [on Behalf Of Rogi Riverstone> > Sent: Wednesday, April 18, 2007 11:15 PM> >
Subject: [KUNMIDEAS-L] kunm.org/psa/ page has> > misinformation.> > > >
If you want more control over frequency and> > placement> > of your announcement, contact our Coordinator of> > Donor> > Relations, Dean Shelton: DeanShelton@kunm.org /> > 505-277-2163.> > > > Rogi Riverstone>
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Commentary: Green apartheid`Green economy' can be a luxury, and the gap between the haves and have-notsis widening
by Kent Paterson
Albuquerque TribuneApril 19, 2007
In the age of global climate change, green solutions are the in-thing. NewUrbanism-style living, sexy bicycles, nifty electric cars and fluorescentlight bulbs are rolled out as answers to the ecological crisis that is sinking Planet Earth.Visionaries who would've been dismissed as eccentric cranks or just plain ignored a decade ago are gaining a prominent place in the public discourse.Their solutions are interesting, innovative and futuristic.Yet, many proponents of the new green economy possess an upper-middle class bias that will only further pulverize hard-pressed working-class people if their ideas are put into practice without any fundamental changes in the political economy.
In New Mexico, examples of the new eco-classism are everywhere.The redevelopment of downtown Albuquerque provides a neat lifestyle for the yuppies who live in trendy lofts, charge their morning espresso and bagels on credit cards and cherish walking or biking to work. But an emerging eco-apartheid exists for workers who commute in jalopies from affordable sections of town, shop for cheap food at Wal-Mart and resort to payday loans to survive.
Street cars are cute additions to the New Urbanist landscape but do absolutely nothing for the many New Mexicans who live where basic bus service is either non-existent or an annoying joke.
A salient example of eco-elitism in action is in the battle over a town-home development planned for Northeast Albuquerque. Press coverage frames the fight in terms of low density vs. high density and New Urbanism vs. suburban conflicts. But the hoopla is meaningless to many - if not most - Duke City residents who can't afford either the pricey town homes or the existing single-family dwellings.
Familiar class and color lines are already etched in the changing natural -not economic - climate. While thousands of expensive new homes are sprouting up like desert wildflowers outside Las Cruces - carbon emissions reductions,anyone? - environmental refugees from last summer's Hatch flooding, the vast majority of whom are working-class Latinos, get a Federal Emergency Management Agency trailer park off Interstate 25 in Rincon.
On April 14, a new movement was launched in the United States. Called "Step it Up 2007," the coalition staged more than 1,400 actions in support of demands to reduce carbon emissions 80 percent by 2050. Step it Up promises more actions in the months ahead, including star-studded concerts in the mold of Live Aid. Movement spokesman and eco-guru Bill McKibben said that Step it Up aims to unite the citizenry across economic and racial boundaries.
"This is a global crisis that will affect all of us and requires immediate and bold action," McKibben affirmed. Noticeably absent from the April 14 actions was a clear message in solidarity with the still-displaced, low-income African-American refugees from Hurricane Katrina, who are among the first victims of environmentally excused ethnic and class cleansing. Prancing around in polar bear suits is a clever protest tactic, but organizing a national movement to ensure that all citizens have access to affordable, environmentally-efficient homes is another matter altogether.
At a public forum sponsored by KUNM-FM radio earlier this year, former NewMexico Environment Secretary Judith Espinosa was the only panel participant to cast the climate crisis in down-to-earth, class terms.
"Not everyone can afford to buy PNM's green wind power or green energy," Espinosa said. "Not everyone can afford a $26,000 Camry that is a hybrid vehicle." She raised the provocative question of why the budding green economy is so expensive when the ultimate price of our current, fossil fuel-based one is incalculable. Espinosa, who has a long history of community activism and service in working-class Chicano communities, is one of the few leaders with a green vision and an economic-justice outlook. More voices like Espinosa's are needed in the emerging climate change movement. Otherwise, it will be dominated by a well-intentioned, but well-off, white-hued green gentry.
Paterson is a writer and journalist based in Albuquerque who specializes incovering Mexico.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
The video of the cursing baby, carrying a beer bottle, is not humor. It is child abuse. I'm sick of seeing "prison mentality" on my tv. I expect better of YOU! So, stop cozying up to gangsters, thugs and trash who have no respect for healthy life.
The guy who made that tape could get a visit from Child Protective Services for that garbage. It doesn't deserve any more attention than a news report.
Can't you do better than THAT??
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
There's a lively discussion, on the KUNM Volunteers Ideas List, about freedom of speech, hate speech and program content. You can read my replies in my Radio Blog.
Today, I had to write this:
It's funny. Heterosexual, white males are allowed to question the wisdom of pornographcally violent content in programming, and, while their opinions may be addressed and challenged, nobody says, "YOU don't know what you're talking about..."
And it's interesting that most of the defenders of free speech vs. hate speech in the Street Beat dialogue are able-bodied, straight, white guys of privilege, btw.
When I, a mixed-race, disabled, queer woman assert an opinion, I get personal attacks. Is this because the privileged find it necessary to attempt to silence, even destroy, anybody who inconveniences them with needs different than their own? Am I being told to shut up and get in the back of the bus?
Twice in the past week, I've been encouraged, by webmasters of the KUNM site, to post to the forums. I remember an attempt by one of them to "shame," silence, and discredit me for doing just that! The forums were dead; I knew that; I utilized the resource to publish commentary & poetry, based on programming and news stories.
I'm using my experience as an EXAMPLE here. I am NOT soliciting pity. I'm a very strong person, and I can CERTAINLY stand up to this. I lived in the so-called "War Zone" for 15 years and suffered the impact of a popular culture that's turning us all in to prison inmates and guards. How many of the posters here have had their crotches and breasts grabbed, on a regular basis, simply for walking to the store for groceries?
But others in marginalized subgrous, treated the same way, might not be so lucky. And I think it creates an atmosphere where others WON'T voice opinions and concerns, for fear of being singled out.
Personal attacks do NOT promote dialogue. They are unhealthy to this freedom of speech we are so adamant to defend.
This is a COMMUNITY. We ought to treat each other with respect and honor the dignity of our members.
I'm not going to shut up, just because a few people find my words inconvenient.
My concern is for those others who are more easily intimidated by an atmosphere which promotes personal attack.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
OPENS ALBUQUERQUE •MARCH 26TH
GUILD CINEMA • 3405 CENTRAL AVE. NE 505-255-1848
ALSO AVAILABLE ON IFC IN THEATRES! CALL YOUR CABLE OPERATOR TODAY FOR MORE INFORMATION
David Edelstein, New York Magazine
Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
–David Edelstein, NEW YORK MAGAZINE
As much the biography of a movement
as the story of a single man.”
–A.O. Scott, THE NEW YORK TIMES
–Joshua Rothkopf, TIME OUT NEW YORK
We are free to make up our own minds.”
–David Denby, THE NEW YORKER
–Nathan Rabin, THE ONION
AN UNREASONABLE MAN is, like THE FOG
OF WAR, one of those opportunities to
step back, take a breath, and remember
the seething power of recent history.”
–David Poland, MOVIE CITY NEWS
Ralph Nader has become one of the most polarizing figures in American politics.
In 2000, he lost many allies and friends because of his decision to run for president.
In 2004, he cemented the hatred of many more. However, Nader used to be one of the
most loved figures in America. He fought for protections we now take for granted;
airbags, seatbelts, even the air we breathe. How does the leader of the modern consumer
movement and champion of American citizenship fall from grace? Hero or villain?
Crusader or spoiler? Right or wrong? You decide.
ALSO AVAILABLE ON IFC IN THEATRES! CALL YOUR
CABLE OPERATOR TODAY FOR MORE INFORMATION
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Everybody's mentioning the producer's name, Menu Foods. NOBODY's mentioning the BRANDS!
Please notice, as well: 2 of the most expensive foods, IAMS and Science Diet are manufactured by Menu Foods, as are some of the CHEAPEST, generic brands on the shelves!
From the Menu Foods website:
Recalled Cat Product Information
Recall Information 1-866-895-2708
Americas Choice, Preferred Pets
Demoulas Market Basket
Fine Feline Cat
Hill Country Fare
Meijer's Main Choice
Nutro Max Gourmet Classics
Nutro Natural Choice
Save-A-Lot Special Blend
Science Diet Feline Savory Cuts Cans
Special Kitty Canada
Special Kitty US
Stop & Shop Companion
Weis Total Pet
Western Family US
Menu Foods Income Fund
TSX: MEW.UN Stock Quote Stock Chart
Other Recent News
March 16, 2007
Menu Foods Income Fund Announces Precautionary Dog and Cat Food Recall
TORONTO, ONTARIO--(CCNMatthews - March 16, 2007) -
NOT FOR RELEASE OVER US NEWSWIRE SERVICES
Attention Business/Financial Editors
Menu Foods Income Fund (the "Fund") (TSX:MEW.UN) today announced the precautionary recall of a portion of the dog and cat food it
manufactured between December 3, 2006 and March 6, 2007. The recall is limited to "cuts and gravy" style pet food in cans and pouches
manufactured at two of the Fund's United States facilities. These products are both manufactured and sold under private-label and are
contract-manufactured for some national brands.
Over the past several days, the Fund has received feedback in the United States (none in Canada) raising concerns about pet food
manufactured since early December, and its impact on the renal health of the pets consuming the products. Shortly after receipt of the first
complaint, the Fund initiated a substantial battery of technical tests, conducted by both internal and external specialists, but has failed to
identify any issues with the products in question. The Fund has, however, discovered that timing of the production associated with these
complaints, coincides with the introduction of an ingredient from a new supplier.
The Fund stopped using this ingredient shortly after this
discovery and production since then has been undertaken using ingredients from another source.
At the same time, the Fund's largest customer, for which it manufactures on a contract basis, received a small number of consumer
complaints and has initiated its own recall. Furthermore, for the time being, the customer has put future orders for cuts and gravy products on
hold. This customer's cuts and gravy purchases in 2006 represented approximately 11% of the Fund's annual revenue.
"We take these complaints very seriously and, while we are still looking for a specific cause, we are acting to err on the side of caution" said
Paul K. Henderson, President and CEO, Menu Foods. "We will do whatever is necessary to ensure that our products maintain the very
highest quality standards."
While the number of complaints has been relatively small, Menu is taking this proactive step out of an abundance of caution, because the
health and well-being of pets is paramount to the Fund.
In addition to changing suppliers, for production after March 6, the Fund has increased testing of all raw materials and finished goods. It is
also working closely with regulatory authorities and its customers to learn more and will take whatever additional actions are appropriate. The
Fund estimates that based on currently available information, this recall could cost between $30 million and $40 million, which will be
financed from a combination of internally generated cash flow and bank credit facilities. Furthermore, the Fund is aggressively producing
product, utilizing a different supplier for the ingredient in question, to replenish customers as quickly as possible.
In order to determine whether cat and dog food in their possession is subject to recall, consumers should refer to the list of brand names
("listed products") at www.menufoods.com/recall. This will be available by 6 a.m. Saturday March 17, 2007. Products not identified on the
website can continue to be used.
Menu is the leading North American private-label/contract manufacturer of wet pet food products sold by supermarket retailers, mass
merchandisers, pet specialty retailers and other retail and wholesale outlets. In 2006, the Fund produced more than one billion containers.
Menu Foods Income Fund
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
A volunteer at KUNM posted an email to the volunteers' ideas list, with a link to a letter in the UNM "Daily Lobo"
KUNM Show Promotes Discrimination
The Program Director replied with some limp arguments about how the program in question, "Street Beat," is broadcasting programming that wouldn't be heard anywhere else.
Here's my reply:
I have a great idea!
Let's get some students, volunteers and community members with an interest in art for a project!
Let's send them out with dump trucks and shovels to collect feces from male bovine.
We'll have them bring it up to the 3rd floor lobby in wheelbarrows and smear it all around the lobby, leaving big piles for people to walk through!
It'll be an art installation.
True, people will slip and fall in it. It'll cause diseases. Lots of people will suffer, because the smell will drift all around the community. It'll affect progamming, staff efficiency and the number of people willing to either volunteer at, or contribute to, the station. We'll have a pretty bad reputation, all over the state. It'll be dangerous and counter-productive.
But we'll say it's art and freedom of speech, even though everybody else calls it a steaming pile of bullshit.
If Nazis broadcast that crap, someone would complain to the FCC and we'd lose our license. That's in addition to the protesters outside.
We're just lucky so few people even listen to a program that's produced by people who don't even interface with the KUNM community, staff, listeners or other volunteers.
People are DYING from hate speech. We need the air time for REAL programming.
As to outreach and inclusiveness, we need to look to our own house. When a former Volunteer representative to the radio board can sit in a General Meeting and blithely question the capabilities of a staff member, simply because that person has no bachelors degree, without any interest in that person's life story, AND that person is Black, AND it is said in the presence of another staff member who is struggling to complete said degree, how can we not say we've alienated the hell out of the community we're supposed to be serving? Prejudging people, based on tickets, economic privilege, ranks and credit ratings is just as oppressive as racism, sexism and homophobia. Nobody -- including me -- challenged that person in that General Meeting. It has been a source of constant shame and frustration for me, ever since.
I can't worry about the consequences. The State of New Mexico, PARTICULARLY Gay men in rural areas, NEED a voice, not excuses.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Found this completely by accident. It's a game. It won't work, unfortunately, on WebTV.
It's EXTREMELY difficult to play.
Here's a hint: don't scrimp on health or knowledge. Don't think within the paradigm of sexism. Work your ass off. Don't be sentimental about older, ailing family members. Get your infrastructure on, ASAP.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
van from Penske rentals. The box is 10 ft. tall by about 20 ft. long.
I put a futon frame & mattress inside (both dumpster finds).
The 1st nite in Kansas, it was raining HARD. By the time we were on the
outskirts of Ks. City, the rain was turning to snow & the snow plows
I was worried, of course.
We were driving around an industrial area near the airport, when I saw
this HUGE building, incomplete, with a real estate sign out front. There
was no construction equipment, so I figured nobody would be back the
next day. It was larger than a wal+mart, with HUGE doors.
So, I drove the truck inside and hid it behind a wall.
We were out of the snow, out of the wind, out of sight. YOU try to hide
a huge, yellow truck, so you can sleep in the streets!
I'll write more later. I'm facing an interruption.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
> > Contact: Kerrie Lynn
> > (404) 524-0304
> > Charis Books, Atlanta
> > NATIVE WOMEN WRITERS READ AT BENEFIT FOR PAULA GUNN
> > ALLEN
> > Seven Native women writers will read Friday, March 2,
> > at 8 PM at Charis Books.
> The reading is in honor of
> > Paula Gunn Allen, the Laguna writer whose
> > groundbreaking study The Sacred Hoop, established the
> > field of Native feminist studies. Gunn Allen's home
> > was destroyed by a fire in October, and she has been
> > hospitalized as a result of injuires sustained in it.
> > Paula Gunn Allen's many honors include an American
> > Book Award for her 1990 Spider Woman's Granddaughters:
> > Traditional Tales and Contemporary Writing, a National
> > Endowment for the Arts Fellowship, and the Lifetime
> > Achievement Award from the Native Writers Circle of
> > the Americas. A scholar and a creative writer, her
> > many books include Life is a Fatal Disease: Collected
> > Poems 1962-1995, The Woman Who Owned the Shadows, and
> > Grandmothers of the Light: A Medicine Woman's
> > Sourcebook. She received her M.F.A. from the
> > University of Oregon and her Ph.D. from the University
> > of New Mexico. After a distinguished teaching career,
> > including professorships at UCLA, Berkeley, and the
> > University of New Mexico, she retired in 1999.
> > Writers participating in the event include Kimberly
> > Blaeser (Anishnabe), Allison Hedge Coke (Tsalagi /
> > Huron), Heid Erdrich (Anishnabe), Diane Glancy
> > (Cherokee), LeAnne Howe (Choctaw), Evelina Lucero
> > (Isleta /San Juan Pueblo), Janet McAdams (Alabama
> > Creek), and Deborah Miranda (Esselen/Chumash). The
> > writers will read from Gunn Allen's as well as their
> > own work.
> > Each of the poets has recently published a volume of
> > poetry in Salt Publishing's Earthworks series of
> > indigenous writers. Erdrich's The Mother's Tongue,
> > Glancy's Rooms, Howe's Evidence of Red , and
> > Miranda's The Zen of La Llorona appeared in 2005, the
> > inaugural year of the new Earthworks series. New books
> > include Blaeser's Apprenticed to Justice and Hedge
> > Coke's Blood Run. Series editor McAdams will also read
> > from a new collection, Feral. Novelist Lucero will
> > read from her award-winning Night Sky, Morning Star.
> > More information, including directions, can be found
> > on the Charis Books website at
> > http://charis.booksense.com or by calling (404)
> > 524-0304. Gunn Allen's books will be available for
> > purchase, and donations will be requested for the
> > Paula Gunn Allen Fund. Admission is free.
> > ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
> > http://www.janetmcadams.org
Sunday, February 11, 2007
There's nothing to do here. We got a hotel so we can take showers b4 we
meet a lady to film at the Santa Fe Trail Ctr., near Ft. Larned. We look
pretty funky, so a shower's in order. Slept 2 nites in the truck: La
Junta, Colorado and Dodge City, KS (a truly ugly town; don't bother ick,
but La junta and neighboring Las Animas, CO were nice). COOOOOOLD in da
Osa, the cat, is doing fine. Great traveling cat; likes to stay inside &
We were in Bent's Fort, CO yesterday, filming. http://www.nps.gov/beol/
Had 2 cats follow me all over the fort. People will think they have
8,000 cats there, as I don't think I got one shot without a cat butt in
it. They don't, according to the locals, usually follow people like they
follow me. Great. I'm a cat magnet!
Well, Ma's outta da shower, so I guess it's my turn now.
C U L8ers.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Group: news:alt.discuss.clubs.public.arts-lit.misc.rriverstone Date:
Thu, Feb 8, 2007, 5:58am (MST-1) From: (Rogi Riverstone)
I got my NM driver's license yesterday.
Took Ma to work & hit the thriftstores.
I've been thinking that a futon frame & light mattress would be more
comfortable than inflated mattress on floor. And what happens if we
spring a leak?
Well, as I was parking the truck outside the 1st thrift store, I saw
that the neighbors were throwing out thin box spring and mattress set.
Took mattress; doesn't weigh much.
Last night, I took Ma to her acting class. I saw a futon frame beside a
dumpster, threw it on the motorcycle rack and it's now in the driveway!
I bought spray disinfectant for the mattress. Today, I'll remake the
bed: frame over carpet, mattress on that, inflated mattress over that,
covered by thick blanket, to keep cold mattress from freezing us, eighty
billion other blankets over that.
At the Goodwill clearance center, I found two, HUGE pillows, printed and
cut out like a giant barracuda and a giant sword fish. They're 5' long
and about 2' wide, at the widest. They'll be good "huggy" pillows. We
both like pillows betw. our knees, to keep our hips from getting stiff.
This way, I won't have to take all our bedding out to the truck.
I also sewed two large pillows out of old, thriftstore beach towels,
stuffed with packing peanuts. They'll absorb sweat, dry fast, be easy to
clean. We can use them on the ground, picnic benches....whatever.
The last things I'll need to do will be to pack refrigerator foods, fill
cats' water tub, grab small litter box, pet carrier & popcorn can of
food for the 1 cat (Osa: means "lady bear" in Spanish) we're taking.
I'll have to pack clothes and video/photo/recording equipment tomorrow.
Ma changed all the litter boxes this morning; trash comes today.
Last things are turning off heaters & extra electric (like COMPUTERS!),
giving neighbors housekeys and leaving, I guess.
If I've forgotten anything, it's not cuz I haven't tried to plan.
OH! Musn't forget to pack webtv, kbd, small vcr and small tv! shoot!