Poverty Is Not an Accident

Poverty Is Not an Accident
Nelson Mandela

Monday, January 31, 2011

9:30 am, Monday

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9:30am: all firewood in yard collected, brought inside mobile home, so I'll have heat while working during snow storm tomorrow.

All tools picked up & stored, planter tubs tipped over so they can't fill with snow and get potting soil wet. Skirts around house trailer reinforced against wind, goats and snow. 50lb sack dog food in waterproof trash barrel with cover and wheels, right outside front door. Goat food INSIDE travel trailer with scoop (both so I don't have to make early trip to mobile home before I clear off snow). Path from trailer to mobile covered in carpets, plastic crates and panels of wood, so easy to clear path of snow tomorrow morning. Area rugs on porch for same reason and so snow will "clean" them.

Dirty dishes soaking in tub outside. Trash taken out to barrel, right by door, for storm. Items in utility trailer covered to protect from snow.

I was hunting in the bottom of my freezer, behind my turkey, looking for a pork roast when I stumbled on my last New York steak roast. I said, what the hell? I have very hard work to do this week and will need lots of protein, besides, I'm celebrating new house.  I can't have potatoes in the house in winter; they'll freeze or turn green if out in daylight, so no potatoes. But I have lots of pasta and rice; will decide later which to cook. I'll put roast in soon to heat house. Cloudy: no passive solar heat today.

I need to bathe, even though it's cold, because it'll be MUCH colder tomorrow and I'll be working hard and can't stand stinking.

Left note in mailbox for postal worker to leave me 2 change of address forms.

I still have to change cat box, but will wait 'til next time I have to pee. It feels SO good under the covers, not in much pain, resting.

I'm still coughing with scary violence. I can't inhale once my lungs empty, no matter how hard I concentrate. It is terrifying, the violent coughing and not breathing. 

don't tell anybody, but I'm very sick

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I cough so hard at the end of the day that I completely empty my lungs, but just keep coughing. I cannot inhale. It's terrifying! Plus, the pressure on my head: I nearly faint, I can't see, I feel the pressure in my head, neck and ears. Blood pounding. I'm really kind of worried I could have a stroke. 

My sinuses are bleeding, almost all day, every day. I feel like I'm strangling, drowning in blood and mucous, trickling down the back of my throat. There's always blood when I blow my nose.

And, what I thought was plain old lower back pain appears to be kidneys. I get a throbbing contractions when I urinate, if my bladder is very full.

I'm very weak and fatigue easily, but I have to pack to move. And it's going to snow and be very cold tomorrow as a storm covers most of the continent, so today, I have to get the goats, trailer, etc. ready for bad weather. 

That's after hitch hiking over a hundred miles, from 9:30am to 4: 30pm yesterday, to see my new place.

I'm so sick. I just wish I could spend ONE DAY in bed, in peace, in warmth. But I can't. 

Found: safe space for self, trailer, critters

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I'm basically renting his back yard for $200 US/month +electricity. He'll reduce rent for my work on his already-prepared garden. It's secure, private, under a tree, near a carport, on concrete. I'll have use of a bathroom, laundry and utility sink (for dishes) in the house.

He was advertising 2 rooms for rent on Craig's List. I checked Google satellite, because he gave an approximate address and stated it was an acre and a half. Only two properties looked like that, either would have worked for me.

So, I emailed and suggested I could live in his yard and he could also rent his other 2 rooms. He likes the goats because they'll keep down weeds. He likes the dogs & cats because they'll chase off strays. He was inundated with stray cats recently. He owns the lot on the east with all that equipment, trailers, etc. and the cats moved in there.

He uses a wheel chair, so my help with the outside of the property is much appreciated. He can get around outside, but it's hard to do some things sitting down.

Imagine! I can take SHOWERS again! AND, I'm very close to public transportation & all amenities of a city, while still living in a quiet, semi-rural/semi-suburban community, not too far, but just far enough, from the hectic nuttiness of Albuquerque. There's a feed store near by. And, while I detest almost all forms of junk food, I do have a weakness for Church's Chicken, and there's a shop within walking distance.

I imagine myself, walking to shops, with 3 goats & 3 dogs on leashes. Eventually, I'll repair back tire & electric cable to my electric bicycle, which pulls a trailer.

There's also a Goodwill thrift store near by.

Just for giggles, here's a shot of my trailer. Oh, I measured it. From back bumper to tip of tongue on front, she's 30 feet long! As big as a small "bachelor" or "studio" apartment. I can save money living in it. And the "spite fence" around the property, and the giant tree, will protect me from New Mexico sun and wind, reducing utility bills.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sodom & Gomorrah

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I'm just keeping this for my own records. It's a reply to a very verbally abusive boy.
 Jesus hated taxes? He hung out with tax collectors and said give to Caesar that which is Caesar's and give to the Lord that which is the Lord's. The Tea Parody would be the 1st in the mobs yelling "crucify him!" all over again, if he came back today.
Eric, who told you Sodom and Gomorrah had anything to do with homosexuality, in the first place, cuz that's just wrong. And, in the second place, why do you think I have any interest in living by YOUR bed time stories with NO historical basis in facts? And, in the third place, if you're playing football, eating shell fish and doing anything on the Sabbath besides study and prayer, you are SO going to Hell SO much more than I am, cuz you CLAIM to be a "believer" and I don't give a flyin' fart about any of that ridiculous, superstitious nonsense. And, in the LAST place, I have a Constitutional RIGHT to believe what I want to believe and have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, no matter WHAT cockamamie nonsense you stuff between YOUR ears and you'd BETTER not try to pee on MY leg and claim it's raining!

AND the Gospel of John was written by Jesus' LOVER! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_John

Eric, your epithets against people with behavioral health challenges stigmatize people with real disabilities. Your language is judgmental, abusive and hateful. You misspelled my name. You don't know my gender. You assume a lot about my motives and dismiss my pain as "crazy" and call me a "piece of shit," simply because you do not understand me or have any interest in doing so. I am full of fear and pain at the abuse of such xian behaviors as these. It is called "church damage." My experience is legitimate and you could learn a lot from it. Instead, you choose to be personally offended by the fact that I have to defend myself against the encroachment of a superstitious theocracy that would call me demon possessed (their explanation of "crazy,"), perverted, damned, not womanly, pagan, heathen and even a devil worshiper (I have a neighbor, spreading that rumor to anybody who will listen at the mail boxes. Her "evidence" against me? I have goats.) So, before you go sharpening your nails for my crucifiction and lighting your torches for my immolation as a witch, maybe you might want to consider that xian crap causes REAL suffering to REAL people and is not, in any way, a theoretical exercise to me.

And I do, in fact, have behavioral health challenges. I was beaten into brain damage by a sanctimonious mother who was sure I was possessed by demons. I rest my case.

I HATE religious fundamentalism.

Atheists are Wrong and Evil! Let's Make It a Religion!

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ZOMGitsCriss | January 29, 2011 | likes, 24 dislikes
My audio-book "The Unreasonable God" :

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

India Rap: Be the Change You Want to See

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Need a cleansing cry? Happy one hundredth anniversary of independence from imperialists, India!

Sawdust Burning Stove

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This isn't a democracy and our gov't is not an expression of the people. It's a corporatocracy; every "elected representative" has a lobbyist's hand up his or her anal orifice, working his or her mouth while the lobbyist speaks. And, these days, you can even see their lips move: that's how little they care about keeping up pretense. The US citizenry has been doped up and numbed out on cheap Chinese junk at Wally World, "reality" tv, Mc Prisons and Mc Schools.... and even Mc Churches. We are beat down, exhausted and terrified we'll lose whatever semblances of middle class "American dream" illusion we've managed to cobble together, or we're screaming in the streets with racist monkey signs about Obama, misspelled pledges of "English only! This is are country!" or "Moran!"

We don't want democracy and we don't deserve it. It takes work, diligence, commitment, activism, letter writing, life long learning, volunteering and compassion. We want our mouth pieces to spout and tell us what we believe as we sit in the blue glow of tv and monitor, nodding "that's right!" impotently at the screen.

We want ninety-nine cent shoes and sexy cars. We want women to spread 'em on demand and people of color to wipe our poop out of our toilets. We want GMOs in our food and Ritalin in our kids. We want happy pills and happy meals.

Let's just go ahead and call this the United States of Mc Donalds, and get it over with.! 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Dora the Explorer Aquapet

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Just some funny facebook comments;