Oh, I wish it would warm up already!
We've had a week of below-freezing nights and very cold days.
I'm getting cabin fever.
There's a lot I'd like to do outside: paint the door for Ma's room, build a chicken roost from the scrap wood my neighbors gave me, wash laundry, finish putting the also-scrap plywood roof on the coop.
The car's not working. I'm using Ma's cart to push for errands. The other day, I found a neighbor is throwing out 6 huge bags of leaves and pine needles. I've managed to drag home 4 of them. I want to put them in my compost pile. I can only haul home 2 at a time, but I'll get the last two on Monday.
Washer hose and discharge tubes freeze over night, so laundry's fun. I do have a waterbed heater element I submurge in the full tub over night, to prevent freezing. And the chickens roost over it, so that helps keep them a little warmer.
But the chicken shelter isn't warm enough, so I need to nail together that scrap wood and insulate the "box" with old blankets. They need to sleep warmer.
It's sunny out, and not too miserable: hovering around freezing, with sun and no wind. But I can't change freezing, and must wait 'til the hoses thaw to finish laundry.
I've been buying Ma a whole, new wardrobe on EBay. It's really fine stuff. New things are delivered every day.
She bought me prescription glasses before she left, and several nice new pairs of shoes. She needs new clothes, and this is payback. I THINK everything I've gotten so far is stuff she'll really like to wear.
She's been wearing bleached-out, thread-bare, stained old crap. She didn't want to buy clothes 'til she lost weight. Well, she's already lost a ton. And we've committed to eating healthy and exercising. We think it's realistic to plan to drop 20lbs. each by April.
The clothes I got her are loose fitting, anyway. She rides her bike to work; she needs comfortable stuff.
But this stuff is also very pretty, tailored, neat and feminine. And it's all in her favorite colors.
It's nice, being able to afford to do this for her. Oh, I still need a minidisc, a mic stand and a bunch of other stuff, but I have confidence now that I can afford those things. I can now earn some money. And my living expenses have dropped to nearly nothing.
And, if anybody deserves some pampering, spoiling and dressing up, it's Ma.
We email now, just about daily. We talk on the phone almost every day. Doesn't mean I don't miss her, of course. She MAY come back a little early, so we can just hang out together. But she's not sure.
So, I'm working very hard to be a good sport about probably spending yet another Christmas alone.
My neighbors gave me an artificial tree. I put it up immediately. It's decorated in red and gold metalic bead garlands, red velveteen bows, blue glass balls. I also put some small ornaments, shaped like toys and teddy bears.
So, in a quiet way, it's nice and snuggly and christmassy in here.
I have lots of projects to keep me busy.
But I sure wish it'd warm up about ten, twenty degrees, so I can work outside!
The animals are keeping me company. There's no end to the entertainment they provide.
But it's too cold to go out much. And, because it's the holidays, I'm not calling anybody to come visit.
So I'm feeling the aloneness a lot. I got spoiled, living with Ma. We talk about everything together. And we do a lot together, too.
So, I'm rattling around in this house, feeling a little lost.
Yesterday, as I was putting the plywood up on the chicken roof, I had an oops. There was a big chunk of ice on the plastic sheeting up there. I tried to push it up, over the edge, onto the ground. I didn't realize how BIG it was, though! It slipped back down and smacked me, hard, in the nose! My nose bled, inside and out. I couldn't see for a few minutes, 'cause my eyes were watering so bad. So, I couldn't get down off the ladder. Just had to stand there and hurt for a bit.
My nose turned bright red and swelled up. But it went back down in a few hours. It's very tender. I may have disconnected part of the cartiledge, from the way it feels. ANd my upturned nose now has a temporary hump on the bridge.
Won't be able to pick my nose for awhile; hurts too bad.
other than that, I'm doing ok. It was pretty rough for a little while; there's a personal crisis that's just ending, about which I can't write. It was pretty devistating, for awhile. I haven't been that scared and frantic since my baby died.
But it seems to be passing ok. Nobody died; nobody is permanently injured, I hope.
But I got left out of what was happening, and was just FRANTIC for information, which responsible parties not only wouldn't give me, but used to torture and abuse me.
It was a nightmare.
It's all going to be ok, it seems. But my old heart took a bruising in the process and I'm recovering from the shock.
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