I've been with Ma 3 yrs. Knew she was a mtf when we got involved.Actually, she was intersexed, designated male by family. Her story is
further unique in that she castrated herself when she was 13, all
alone. She's closeted, so I can't talk to anybody, really, about
what's going on.
She has systematically excluded me from her life over the past, 3
years. After 1 year, we were no longer intimate. I tolerated that, as
I love her. I don't know if I'd hoped things would improve in time,
or if I was just willing to settle.
But things have deteriorated. I honestly believe she sees me as
second class and that I'm not a priority in her life, emotionally,
socially, etc.
I helped her finish her bachelors degree. I wasn't allowed to talk to
her while she was studying or doing anything work related. I did most
of the household chores, including her laundry, meals, etc. I was her
volunteer research assistant, editor, etc. for school.
Last summer, she said she didn't want to live with me anymore. This
was less than a month after her graduation.
I said that I've put up with her special requirements for three
years, in order that she complete her degree. Her needs have been the
primary focus of the household. I said I deserved three years, back,
in order that we might improve our relationship/friendship/whatever.
She agreed.
I got sick and couldn't do the outside chores fast enough to suit the
landlady. We got an eviction notice in August, with a move out date
of Oct. 31, today. I've packed, moved and unpacked almost every item
from the house and cleaned the property, sick.
During the move, she announce she will only live with me long enough
for me to establish the household. Then, she'll move out and I'll
need a roommate. This will happen in about ONE year, she said. I was
completely floored.
She resents every bit of work she has done, related to the move, that
was NOT about her personal items, directly. She takes it out on me in
very passive aggressive and indirect way. For some event, totally
unrelated to the move, she'll behave shabbily toward me. I'll ask why
she's treating me this way and she'll reply with something oblique
like, "you're high maintanance." Compared to her, I certainly am not.
So, I'll ask her to elaborate, and she'll voice her resentment at
packing my stuff!
We just moved to a new place.
Last night, she announced that she will move out if she
feels "unhappy." She feels unhappy, most of the time. She's a
compulsive overeater. She has body dysmorphia. She's emotionally
repressed. She's chronically depressed. I suggested she look for a
therapist, but she says that's not a priority right now.
Mostly, she's unhappy when she treats me like I'm second class, and I
have the nerve to call her on it and expect to be treated as an equal.
I am disabled and low income. I'm neither as strong nor as
economically secure as she. Now, any time I dare to ask her to do
such things as: not leave used toilet paper on the bathroom floor,
listen to what I'm saying, consult with me before she makes major
decisions that affect me, do her chores..... she threatens to move
out because she's not happy.
She's becoming VERY verbally abusive. She does and says things she
KNOWS provoke me, to try to get me angry enough so she can threaten
to move out. She ignores me when I speak. She makes lots of noise
when I'm sleeping. She won't grant me access to her bedroom, even
though the internet connections and other, vital things are hoarded
there. I'm not allowed to speak to her when she's in her bedroom and
must EMAIL HER from elsewhere in the house!
Basically: she's ACTING LIKE A MAN and I'm sick of it!
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