The Woman In The Kitchen

an email:

From: (Rogi Riverstone)
Date: Sun, Aug 31, 2003, 11:53pm
To: a member of the UU Fellowship
Subject: the woman in the kitchen

That woman in the kitchen today accused me of the following:

Stealing from the homeless.

Being too lazy to seek food donations elsewhere.

Lying about my circumstances.

She LITERALLY called me, "rude" and "selfish" for even asking for some pot luck left overs.
S[deleted, a fellowship member], I think her name is, PUSHED me, to try to force me out of the kitchen because I was DEFENDING myself against the woman's accusations!

My god, the woman was GOSSIPPING about me BECAUSE I'd left the kitchen! I only came back to get the food I'd brought to take home! I walked in and she was going on and on about me! Nobody asked her to stop!

You people don't know me! I needed to defend my character and try to explain my motives!

I asked a table full of people, during lunch, if it would be ok for me to ask for left overs. I wanted their advice. Nobody would answer me.

So, I did the best I could. I needed that food! It took real courage to walk into that kitchen and ask if I could have some of that food! Not ALL of it: some of it. Just for a few more days.

But to have my character so publicly attacked in such a way, to have NOBODY ask that woman to STOP insulting and attacking me, to be PUSHED and told to be quiet about it and leave....good LORD!

It was an innocent request! My: morals, character, personal finances, access to transportation, disability, etc. should NEVER have been open to such hostile scrutiny and bitter attack!

I have MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. I can't see at all well, especially while walking strange streets in bright light or dark night. The 2 miles round trip to [Fellowship meeting] wears me completely out! ALL the food pantries are much farther than that.

I'm not some self-pitying, lazy, spoiled bum!
I've earned every moldy piece of bread I've gotten in this town. I volunteer; I earn my keep! This was the ONLY time, in 10 years, I've asked for food without volunteering for it.

There's much more, but I think this is probably overwhelming enough.

I spent the rest of the day, humiliated, discouraged, in bad pain, scared and SO sad.

I had to BEG for people's LEFTOVERS today, and not only didn't get any food (because I refuse to take anything under such circumstances! I wouldn't be able to eat it), I had my dignity publicly stripped from me for trying to take care of myself!

It is just a temporary crisis. I have a job now; I'll get paid in just a few more days. And I can contribute a LOT to the Fellowship! I could PAY IT BACK!

I'm not so worried about that woman: poor folks in this town are VERY critical of each other: Crabs in a bucket, pulling each other back in if one tries to get out. For all I know, she's seriously mentally ill or something.

But I NEEDED SUPPORT from the Fellowship! Why was I asked to leave? Why not her? She was the one attacking! I was simply defending myself! I didn't insult her. I didn't attack her. I didn't threaten or cuss or anything! Why was I asked to LEAVE?

I know YOU can't answer that, but I need for people to discuss this. Hopefully with ME!

It broke my heart.