Ma is completely irrational now. I can tell, when I'm speaking to her, that she doesn't comprehend what I'm saying, that it's getting all twisted and garbled in her mind. What little feedback she gives tells me this.In addition to her inability to: hear, understand or remember what I'm saying, she's expressing some SERIOUS paranoid delusions about me.
She thinks that, because I've gone to some friends about my concerns, I'm bad mouthing her, embarrassing her and sabbotaging her. Actually, I'm seeking impartial feedback from them. Is it over-reaction, for instance, that I'm afraid of Ma because she said, "Contact my lawyer?" She won't let me speak to her when she's in her room, so I've sent email, which she hasn't read. When I asked her, repeatedly, how I can communicate with her when she's in her room, she refused to answer and finally said, "contact my lawyer."
She said she was joking. The tone of voice was threatening. How was that funny? Frightening me, threatening me with a lawyer is FUNNY? Am I over reacting? My friends say I am not.
She has violated her contract, again, about when she will move out. Now, she wants to move out in spring.
First, it was 3 years; then, it was 1 year. Now this.
She has upped the date because I went to my friends for counsel.
She's accusing me of other things, too. If she were CORRECT about my motives, I would have to be a violent, irresponsible sociopath to behave as she's accusing me. The smallest mistake -- such as putting a can of soda over the lattice across her bedroom door, which popped open when it landed on the floor -- is "evidence" of how destructive and dangerous I am!
If I protest, if I raise my voice in absolute panic and distress over these accusations, she sees it as further proof of what a "crazy bitch," "obstinate bitch," "stupid bitch" I am.
If I can get her to follow a train of logic long enough for her to begin to be aware of how ludicrous, outlandish and irrational her delusions are, she either gets right in my face, if I don't grant her easy escape, or RUNS to her room to shut the door on me! She WILL NOT acknowledge that her accusations are unfair. She WILL NOT acknowledge that I'm perfectly rational to feel upset and frightened by them.
If she really believes I'm such an irresponsible, violent, criminal (yes, she calls me that, too, and a "bad neighbor and citizen:), sociopathic person, might she not "defend" herself against me, physically, if she feels threatened?
I'm beginning to suspect neurotoxins. She takes MASSIVE quantities of vitamins and herbal suppliments.
I'm also wondering if she's developing alzheimers.
Far worse, and more dangerous for me, her siblings posthumously diagnosed her very violent and abusive father with bipolar disease. I don't know whether he really was or not. But he abused, molested and terrified ALL of them, throughout their childhoods.
Ma has had one "manic" episode, in the past. It sounds like it was quite severe, and that she was quite irrational and disfunctional.
I'm afraid she could hurt me. She's bigger and stronger than I. She's a black belt in several martial arts. She has access to weapons.
If I had the financial resources, I'd throw her out of here right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment