I'm not allowed to smoke in the house. For the first time in 21 years, I bought a bottle of Johnie Walker red tonight. I also, for the first time in three years (I only buy them on special occasions, IF I remember), I bought a pack of Benson & Hedges cigarettes....$5 a pack!!!I was sitting on my front porch, smoking one of the B&H, drinking Johnie Walker red, soda and a twist (of orange peel; we didn't have lemons, and it's xmas eve, and no stores are open, but orange peel tastes good in scotch.)
Suddenly, a cop car zoomed by on our lazy, quiet street. And I thought, damn.
So, I came in the house and called 311.
Gary answered, African American, young, by the sound of him.
And I said,
Hi, Gary.
And I told him I'm not alllowed to smoke in my house and I was on the front porch when the cop car went by. And it made me think.
I said, I have some real issues with Albuqueruqe PD and FD.
But I wanted to wish them, and the 311 operators in the boiler room, happy holidays. And thank you.
I know they'd rather be home with their families right now.
But they're out here, trying to protect us.
And I have REAL issues with some of them.
So, Gary asked me my name (I only gave Rogi) and my phone #, which I gave him.
Cops, especially, are poisoned. Some come that way: they're cops cuz the get to carry a gun (penis substitute) and scare and intimidate people. Some came to it by noble reasons: they love their communities and want to protect them. Some came because their parents came, and they're carrying on family traditon. Some came because their options are limited: they have military backgrounds or grew up in neighborhoods where the only "good guys" were also cops or FD.
Cops and see crap I don't want to see: vomit, needles in dead arms, beaten hookers, drunk people of color, violated properties. I HAVE seen it, as a poor person. But it is a goal of my life NEVER to have to witness the nightmares of poverty and ignorance again.
Cops and FD choose to live in a world which almost killed me.
Aside from ego, mother issues, penis envy and machimso, I'd have to say a good portion of those people choose to live among the filth because they SINCERELY believe they make a difference and protect the innocent.
I'm not wise enough to know whether that's true or not.
All I know is that SOME of them TRY.
So I called 311 and spoke with Gary.
If we all stop terrorizing our own children, behaving like crazy people while under the influence of mind-altering chemicals, beating those we say we love, and liberating property from people we think can't manage it better than we can, cops and FD could be home tonight, snuggling with the people they love, living the biblical injunction of Peace on Earth.
Even as I was thinking that, outside on my porch, I heard sirens scream by, blocks from my house, hours from what's supposed to be the most sacred event in history: the birth of a Savior to humankind.
Yes, I've dealt with both cops and fire personnel who were dyed in the wool bastards and fascists. I won't sugar coat that. I don't know: do they have mysogynistic tendancies, father issues, poor toilet training, delusions of grandeur, sadistic fantasies? I don't know and I don't care. I only know I have to be careful, in their presence.
But a lot of young kids are patroling our streets tonight -- and the streets of Afganistan and Iraq -- who SINCERELY believe they're doing the right thing.
Whether I agree or not, I respect their commitment and concern.
Thank you, people, for trying to protect me and my goats, my cats, my goldfish, my chickens and ducks, my obstinate roommmate, my webtv, my computer, my collections of odd, handmade crap.
Thank you for letting me sleep in my warm house tonight, knowing you'll come if I really need you.
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