Oof! Wow, I finally got an eight-hour night of sleep! First time in, what? Four days? moan.
The good news is that the project was a complete sucess! In fact, it was better than any of us could have imagined!
I invited a friend of mine to watch it happen. He sat in a corner, watching my girl do her thang, mesmerized. She was ON, hunny!
I watched people leaving: guests, crew, etc. Everybody was grinning and chattering. Everybody was excited and full of energy. They looked like five-year-olds at an amusement park. Even the really old guys. It was so gratifying!
We went to a party after the event. I was so happy. Nobody even noticed me; they were all about my girl. They offered her champagne. They toasted her. They hung around her, chatting and bubbling. I got her a plate of the buffet, brought it to her and stood in a corner in the kitchen. I just watched everyone from there. It was a group project and everybody worked SO hard. It was so professional. It was so healing. It was so positive. And everybody knew it and everybody was so charged up about it.
People would look over at me from time to time. I could see them thinking, "I really should go over and talk to her, but I really don't know what to say." Well, I wasn't part of the big project, really. I just brought food, did some minor technical stuff, etc. Mostly, I kept my girl fed, clothed, rested (as much as possible). I just took care of the petty details that get forgotten in crisis mode, so she didn't have to sweat it.
So, when I saw people were beginning to pay attention to me, trying to figure out what they should say to me, I went outside. I just walked around the garden and chatted with folks as they were coming and going. I didn't want to make anybody uncomfortable.
We got there late, as my girl had details to finish in the office. We stayed just long enough for everybody to tell her what a fabulous job she'd done pulling the project together. We left before all the guests had gone.
I said, "ok, NOW you can get excited. NOW, you can take in what a marvelous thing you did, providing the space for this thing to happen. NOW, you can hear what a healing thing this was."
When we got home, I put her to bed. She was asleep when her head hit the pillow.
I'm still pretty wobbly today. I did a lot of walking, stair climbing, errand running, fussing and pacing. I hurt pretty badly.
When my girl finishes work tonight, I'll have supper ready. Sardine quesadillas, salmon quesadillas, candied fruit and crema for dessert. We'll throw the dog in the car and go to the mountains for a long walk in the cool of the evening.
Then, we'll sleep.
I'm smoking less every day, in spite of the crisis of the Final Push of this project. I was all nerves and emotions. I hadn't planned to get so emmersed in the project. But, when I saw all the last minute stuff that was becoming problematic, I put aside my other stuff and just helped as much as I could. Wouldn't matter if we were lovers; I'd have done it, anyway. 'course, the fact we've become so close made it easier for her to LET me help.
It was a good experience. It was a tense situation. She could have been very crabby and short tempered. I could have been bumbling or whiney. But we worked as a team and everything came out better than expected.
It reassurred me, nowing we could work so closely and so well together for extended periods. There was lots of laughing, moaining in exhaustion, plotting, trouble shooting, hugging and wishing it was over, already.
Now, I'm ready to dig in to my own stuff again. Life returns to "normal" for the rest of the summer and early fall.
In November, she'll leave town for more than a month. I have no idea what that will be like. I'm just enjoying the time we have now, while I can, before her schedule fills up again.
I'm keeping our creative project for next year in the back of my mind. We plan to start working on it after the first of the year.
I'm SO tired! I'm going to watch these silly soap operas 'til three. Then, I'll nap until she gets back, let her nap while I make supper. Then, we'll be off for our next adventure. I'm too stupid to talk right now.
She bragged about me last night. She said I held her together so she could get everything done. I was flattered, but I know damned well she'd have made it through everything without me. It's nice to know, though, that I made things a little easier on her.
She'd do the same for me, y'know. She's already working on a project I'm doing.
She's very cute. She talks in her sleep. She says funny things: not different than what she'd say if conscious, but that breathy, baby voice in my ear, still solving problems and telling jokes, well, it's cute.
I wonder if her mind ever stops.
She's a miracle. Plain and simple. And I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
By the way: the party was held in a house I'd normally never enter except to clean. It was obvious our hostess had paid attention to every detail. There wasn't even any dust on the windowsills, and this is Albuquerque, which is always dusty. It was a fabulous environment fot the party. It was hosted by a relative of one of the participants; none of us had met her before. I made sure she knew how much I appreciated what she'd done, how comfortable was her home, how much I envied her kitchen (which is the size of my whole apartment). I really liked her. It was a pleasure to meet her. She's just regular folk, who was lucky enough to come into enough money to have a very nice home I got her, she got me. I felt completely relaxed and comfortable, even though I was surrounded by artists, authors, academics, business people....educated, affluent folk. She did a great job, making sure everybody was comfortable.
As a matter of fact, I surprised some people with my social skills yesterday. She was very happy to see them look at me more the way she sees me. I was poised, helpful, friendly, comforting, encouraging...I mothered everybody, all day long. Especially my girl.
What a PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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