The unnecessary hysteria and drama of the past 2 months really impacted my physical health in ways I could not have anticipated. For instance, my right leg seems now to be permanently, partially paralyzed, tingling and numb. I have lost a lot of strength in my hands, as well; simple tasks, like tightening bolts or pushing some buttons, are difficult for me now. My eyes hurt in sunlight all the time now; I HAVE to wear dark glasses outside, or I cannot see well enough not to be in danger. And the spots on my skin -- the ones a nurse practitioner indicated might be cancer -- are spreading.
So, I am working very hard, but carefully, to restore MY life MY way. The kitchen and bath room were badly tossed by the fools I PAID to move my trailer, for instance. I never got to finish unpacking at Cindi's, before I had to move to Hell, and never got to unpack there, either. Stuff got scattered and spilled; it was very difficult to cook for several months and even using the toilet was tricky.
Except for the floor, the kitchen is clean, organized and neat, the way it was originally. The bath room is a lot less cluttered (things were tossed from shelves and cabinets, etc) and is functional, on its way to being restored.
The people in Hell vandalized some of my stuff. All my functioning garden hoses were stabbed with a knife, right through. I know it was a knife because the slit on one side is smaller than that on the other, indicating the narrowing of the knife blade near the tip.
I know they didn't care whether my animals starved or died from lack of water; I couldn't get to them for more than three days. They also stuffed burnt clothing and feces inside the only access my cats had to go outside for water. One of my cats is still very traumatized and startles easily. Another arrived here with a HUGE abscess in his mouth I hadn't noticed in all the distraction; he's very thin because it hurt too much to eat. I researched antibiotics online. Turns out, one CAN purchase Amoxicillin without a prescription; it's for fish. But I didn't need it. Turns out, tetracycline is NOT contraindicated for either dogs or cats, as long as the dosage is correct, and I had some powdered from the feed store in Fort Sumner. I'm simply adding it to tuna and feeding. Anyway, he's a 20 year old cat, but he's coming back. I even caught him playing in the yard the other day. And he is eating just fine. I dosed everybody else, too, just in case, since 3 of 4 cats are very old and have bad teeth.
Someone VIOLENTLY vandalized the gates of the people who are boarding my goats and chickens. I have my suspicions; doesn't look like a teen prank, to me. It looks like a message: if you help Rogi, we'll mess you up.
A good number of things are lost and broken. The people who moved me treated it like hauling trash. I found my family photo albums, torn and scattered by the wind, on the highway. Some tools are damaged, etc.
I work and clean, repair and plan. It's pretty peaceful here, now that I've eliminated the aggressive, white men in this park from my life. I tried to form associations with them, but they act out in very aggressive, threatening, immature ways. I get the feeling a lot of white men out here are cowards and cover their insecurities by assuming threatening postures. It's a real sign of weakness and I want no part of weak people right now. So, I've eliminated them from my life.
The owner gave me permission to water a dead patch of lawn in the back, center section of the park. I watched it develop a haze of green and now I'm watching tufts and patches grow several inches tall. I built a bird pond, covered the picnic table with a cheap cloth to keep from getting splinters, and hung pots of flowers from a large tree. It's quite pleasant. And I know the growing, greening place is a metaphor for my own mind: it's healing and renewing.
I'm having fun meeting myself again, preparing nice meals, applying lotion and medication to my skin, grooming and dressing more properly again, listening to stimulating and diverse radio programming, watching a wide variety of films. I like who I am. I have good taste. Now that I'm not surrounded by shrieking, storming, addictive Jethros anymore, I'm getting to be in the REAL world again and am thoroughly enjoying it.