Porkchop, the porno reindog

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I'm desperate for money. So, Porkchop and I headed out with a cart full of arts & crafts to sell. Nobody bought anything.

I stopped at Smith's, looking for marked down food. I found a string of xmas lights for my garden for seventy cents. I found 2 lbs. of hamburger meat. I found a candy bar cheap. And I found a WHOLE POUND of assorted sushi, with wasabi, soy and pickled ginger, for four dollars! Sushi for breakfast! And lunch; I'm eating some right now.

Yesterday, Martha Stewart had a guy on, talking about Dom Perignon champagne, and how it goes with sushi. My mouth was watering so hard, I had to change channels! Screw the champagne; gimme sushi!

THe butcher swore it's safe; says he eats it all the time.

Well, I stopped at the Family Dollar Store on the way back, looking for marked down xmas replacement lights for the strings in my garden. No luck.

I parked my cart and Porkchop by their dumpster. It's inside a concrete housing with metal doors, so I can shut one door to hide them.

I found something in the dumpster. It's a cheap, red, crushed velveteen bra and thong set. The tops of the bra cups and thong have strips of white, downy feathers, shot through with mylar tinsel.

Well, you KNOW I'm not going to wear no damn THONG! And the bra was TINY! It was also padded. Trust me; I don't need padding!

So, I put them on Porkchop! I put the bra on the right way. I put the thong on backwards, so as not to obstruct his penis or anus. The center elastic of the thong I arranged to go over one butt cheek, next to his tail.

I want you to know the cars on the street damn near wrecked! I was dressed in a gawdy, beaded sweater, green pants and a red, black and green "Indian blanket" jacket. The cart is covered in toys, mylar, beads, silk flowers and my Barney pinata on a pole. And here comes Porkchop, with decked ....um, halls.

It was a hoot!