I still can't find any place to live, anywhere in the state. I look every day.
So, I'm cleaning up the yard & house so it won't look dumpier than necessary. I burned weeds this week and set my own shirt on fire (I was squatting too close to a tuft of grass and it was a shirt big enough for three of me), but at least I can walk around now without constant attacks by mean, little prickly things. And the goats love the ashes. And I'm betting things will sprout from seeds being heated.
I bought some parachutes and yards & yards of fabrics to make shade over the travel trailer and a twelve foot wide yard I'm fencing on the north side, by the door. I plan an outdoor kitchen for warm weather and don't want goats around. Plus, I'll need to open the door for air circulation and because my girl cats won't use the animal door (really, just an access compartment for jacks, etc). And I do NOT want any goats sneaking in here!
Yes, parachutes. I got 2 "U.S SPECIAL FORCES MC-4 HALO PARACHUTE. CANOPY ONLY. NO LINES OR HARNESS. COLOR: FOLIAGE GREEN. 11-1/2 FEET X 27 FEET. 370sq.ft. LINES CUT. CONDITION: USED GOOD."
They're rectangular, 2 layers: flat on the bottom, scalloped on top to catch more air and form "ribs," for stability. If I sew the 2 flat sides together along the length, I'll have a canopy twenty three feet wide by twenty seven, long. The trailer is thirty.
That's why I got two five foot round 'chutes: to make up the foot and a half difference on each end and slope down to shade the windows there.
I bought 3 other fabrics: silver lame, to sew over the the 'chutes for sunscreen (I got 25 yards of sixty inch-wide at about a buck a yard). I got some printed cotton purple stuff with Spanish and English words on it: surprise, applause balloons. That will go UNDER all the rest, over my yard, for color and extra durability. And I got 10 yards of Dia de Los Muertos oilcloth to wrap my fence, for privacy. It's purple with black silouettes that look like paper cut outs of skeletons riding bicycles, birds, flowers, etc. I hate having people drive by and stare at me, so this will give me some privacy and protection from wind.
No landlord this month. If he comes next month, I'll give him a hundred fifty for Jan, Feb and March. Rv storage is about $35 a month in these parts. I have NO toilet anymore. It split in the last cold spell when it got to fifteen below zero one night. So, I pee in the trailer commode and use my washing machine (out in the yard, north side of trailer) water and a series of tubes and pipes to dilute urine on south side of trailer and flush into flower, not food, bed. I'm back to pooping in a paint bucket with a toilet seat lid on it and plastic bag inside. There's a hole on the north side of the house where I'm burying it.
If I can't move, I have to make the best of staying, but save to move as well, just in case.
Roseanne, one of my neighbors, is picking me up to go shopping tomorrow. It's after Valentine's day and I want to buy cheap chocolate to freeze for cooking.
I just bought ten pair of men's fruit of the loom boxer briefs for twenty three dollars on eBay. I can't wear "panties;" they're too tight on my torn labia. Men's have a testicle pouch, so they don't touch me while I'm working or sitting, so don't hurt. They cost five bucks a pair in stores. I bought my last 5 pair five years ago and they're almost transparent now. I will have to have underwear in the summer; it's too damn hot to fool around. I can get "diaper rash" very easily, especially without daily showers, if I'm not careful.
Mentally and emotionally, I'm pretty even. Too busy planning and solving problems to freak out.
Had a dream about you the other morning. bunch of kids, just having a ball and me in the middle of it, and you on the side just watching and smiling.
Animals are well. BUilt the goats a shed from my old bunk bed frame, surrounded by mattresses, foam padding, etc. Made a "sky light" from an old storm door for the roof plus some sheet metal. put the dog houses inside and Nilly's television cabinet on one end. they all have couch pillows and are off the frozen ground. They are, as Willy has always loved, exactly outside the window by which I sleep at night. For some reason, every place I lived except one, Willy and Nilly always slept right outside my bedroom window. And the one place they didn't they were very unhappy. Fortunately, we weren't there very long, just a few weeks.
I'm VERY much enjoying my Facebook connections. My latest friend is Egyptian. He lives in Canada now; left because of Mubarak; can't wait to get back home and dig in. Sweet guy. I have a French friend, a few African friends, quite a few Native Americans, a Turkish feminist who broadcasts radio from Florida, Navajo drag queens, Democratic party organizers in Albuquerque, I get messages from the Dali Lama's site, daily quotes from Janis Ian, who actually replies to stuff..... I'm friends with Lucia Chappel of the Pacifica radio show, This Way Out. I'm ALL over public and community radio, i read lots of magazines and papers. I talk with people at news outlets.. I mean real conversations. I have a more active social and activist life, lying here in bed with a pile of cats and dogs, than I had when I was in Los Angeles, and I feel more effective. Oh, I hear from Jeanne Cordova and a bunch of the old timers. had to "unfriend" Robin Tyler, though; she's just too.... cynical? bitter? perpetually insulted by everything? Before I unfriended her I said, Robin, I hope you find a creative outlet for your anger, like you used to find in comedy.
i'm glad i'm not in the big city! the Queer rights communities seem to be attacking each other. out here, if you find another queer, no matter HOW screwed up you think s/he is, you hang on for dear LIfE! we need each other's support in rural America. we can't afford to be so picky.
This is a very long email. I'm stopping now.
I love you and tell everybody I say hi.