the death of Dog

All documented on FaceBook. Weird. But I got some moral support, in real time.
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Rogi Equality Riverstone
Dog  is dying. At first, she wanted to hide. But I put her on a leash and  sat with her in the yard, surrounded by goats, Weasel (my other dog) and  baby chicks, and she liked it. Now, she's in the back bedroom. It's her  idea. She's in final stages of hearworm; has been, since she chose to  move in last year. more

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 17:16:45 -0700Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:16pm about an hour ago

Condolences from Tree hugger

Rogi Equality Riverstone
She  knew she was sick when she moved in and so did I. She has run all over  this "neighborhood." She killed all my ducks, geese and chickens last  year, and I think she killed one of my cats. Didn't eat them; just  mauled them. I let her stay anyway.

She's  breathing hard. She was fighting it: startling, trying to find some  place where breathing wasn't difficult, pushing up on her front legs and  extending her neck for a clear air passage. Now, she's lying down.

She's  afraid of people, has scars all over her face, her eyelid is slashed.  So, she never was much for making eye contact with me.  But she's been  looking into my eyes, concentrating on her breathing. And she's watching  me type this right now. I won't get into bed until it's time for her to  go. It seems to comfort her to be able to see me.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:21pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
To my surprise, with a little assistance, she climbed up into the bed just now. She's gasping; respiration slow, lying down
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:24pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I  think this is it. be back later
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:26pm about an hour ago

Tree hugger blessed us and is tearing up

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:28pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
She's  calm. She knows. She's watching me. She has Weasel on her right and  Ivan, a cat, on her left and me in front. she never slept in a bed b4  she lived here.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:31pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I  just tell her she's a good dog. I never trained her, but she learned  that. I told her soon, she can go play with all those birds and the cat  she killed, plus my nanny goat, Nilly.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:33pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Bunch  of feral dogs, including Dog, started hanging out after Nilly died,  because I couldn't bury her properly and they wanted to eat her. Nilly  turned into dogs and wild things.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:34pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Dog  will turn into crows. There's a nesting pair that hangs out here,  collecting sticks and catching things to eat. I live on a couple of  acres of frontier.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:35pm about an hour ago
 Tree Hugger's Consulting likes this.

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Even though she's gasping, she's starting to lay her head down.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:37pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
She's just tired of the effort. She's not in distress or panicking.  She's just tired.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:38pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
It  was very sudden. Earlier today, she was trotting all over the  neighborhood, as usual. This evening, she came in the yard, acted very  distracted, vomited and started gasping and foaming at the mouth.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:39pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality RiverstoneThat was about an hour ago.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:39pm about an hour ago

Tree Hugger made a heart.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:40pm">about an hour ago

 Randy said :(
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:40pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
It's  ok. Dog had a GREAT life for a year. She ran the whole show, for the  first time in her life. She slept in a bed. Nobody hit her. She ran  free. She slept outside or in, as she chose. She ate bites of steak,  turkey, bacon, cheese.... whatever i eat, they get a sample. She walked  me to the mail boxes everyday with Weasel and the goats. She had fun and  peace. I wish that for everybody.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:43pm about an hour ago
Tree Hugger's Consulting likes this.

Rogi Equality Riverstone
even the assholes. maybe especially them.
Tree Hugger's Consulting likes this.

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I've  midwifed lots of animals during death. There's a point at which the  "person" disappears and the mechanics of the body take over in a last  ditch effort to remain alive. It's AMAZING how tenacious life is. Dog  isn't there yet. She's still here, still lucid. Just resigned and so  tired. Calm.
 Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:46pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Actually,  oxygen deprivation is a kind way to go. The brain just trips out. It's  soothing and pleasant. I know. My mother strangled me to unconsciousness  on several occasions.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:47pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Once you stop resisting, it's pleasant.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:47pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I  turned the light on. It's till light out, but her vision will be one of  the first things to go and I don't want her to be frightened.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:48pm about an hour ago

Virtual (((Hug))) from Tree Hugger
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:49pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I keep thanking her for being a good friend.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:49pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
 ...even if she killed those others. She was scared, hungry, over-stimulated, threatened....she never tried to harm anybody once she settled in. In fact, the baby chicks are in the yard for the first time today. she smelled some butts and their food, but didn't snap or get aggressive. It was just a new bunch of family, to her.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:51pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Dogs cry.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:51pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Lots of fluid in her lungs; I can hear it. Had a little panic spell, but we're ok now.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:53pm about an hour ago

tree hugger gave me a compliment

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:55pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Ain't my 1st time at this dance.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:56pm about an hour ago

Jane says she thanked me.

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I  almost forgot the baby chicks. They'll want to go to sleep soon and i  need to explain their bed to them. It's an upside down storage tub with a  hole in it, over some padding and a heating pad. They were living in  the bathtub for a week, but they're too big now. You should have seen  them flap their little wings and scamper and jump. They needed exercise.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:58pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Well, Janie, It ain't the ritz, but we do ok

Laura says she's sorry and that Dog is going to a dog place with fun things...

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:59pm about an hour ago

Jane says it sounds perfect.

Rogi Equality RiverstoneI also forgot to bring in FattyWattyKittyKatty, who was peering at me from the top of her cat basket in the yard.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:04pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality
Breathingirregular now. I'll have to watch for panic.Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:05pm about an hour ago

Bruce says it's an animal's instinct to hide while dying, so as not to be pestered by predators, so she must feel safe and he called me kind.

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Not really, but thanks, Bruce.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:08pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
twilight.  Chicks right outside the tub, drinking and eating from dishes, making  occassional anxious sounds. Dog is in her corner of the bed with her  head on her teddy bear, looking out the window. I can't even hear her  breathing anymore, and it was very loud.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:14pm about an hour ago

Rogi Equality RiverstoneBaby nanny goat, Nilly, standing on top of their goat house, looking in window at Dog.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:15pm 59 minutes ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Dog has her nose pressed against the window. Interesting
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:15pm 58 minutes ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
Dog  is gone. The body is alive. she just looked out the window and went  away. she doesn't hear me calll anymore. very shallow breathing. she was  sucking her whole abdomen in to get air. Not anymore.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:17pm 56 minutes ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
I need to attend the body now while it dies. I don't want pain from thrashing.Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:19pm 55 minutes ago

Rogi Equality Riverstone
my best friend is a hospice worker who attends the dying. I could do that.
Tue, 29 Mar 2011 18:19:57 -0700

Rogi Equality Riverstone
\five seconds and more between respirations. that's a long time, compared to a few minutes ago
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:22pm 52 minutes ago


Rogi Equality Riverstone
I  put Dog on a pillow in the yard and put the chickens away. I don't want  her to lose control of her bowels & bladder on my bed. She's too  far gone to notice now.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:30pm 44 minutes ago


Bruce thanked me for sharing and says it should be documented for folks who don't know about death. He thinks some cart the animal off to a vet to get rid of a problem, not all. He speaks of his own animal friends and hopes they die peacefully with him. He believes heaven and hell are a state of mind.

Bruce asked me to message him when I get time and wants to know in what way I am not kind, and to compare philosophies.



Ella is sure i'm kind.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:43pm 30 minutes ago
Rogi Equality Riverstone

In  the last moments, I loosely covered her head with a clear, plastic bag  (I want them to see, if they can; it reduces distress) and tucked it  into her collar. That way, she was breathing her onw CO2, instead of O2,  and she passed without struggle  or heart attack. I'm too wiped to take her out for the crows tonight.  Besides, it's almost dark, and there's prickles, trash and who knows  what out there. So, she can stay in the yard, on her pillow tonight. I  learned the bag trick from an assisted suicide website: the only place I  could get accurate info on euthanize. I keep sedatives and a hypodermic  here, but she didn't look like she needed that; she needed to  transition naturally: get used to the idea. I would only drug in a case  of severe distress. Well, that's that, then. Guess I can go ahead and  climb in bed now. The skiy, as she died, was full of pewter clouds. The  sun was down, but the clouds glowed  rich, iridescent papaya flesh  color. I've never seen that color in the sky before. Dogs can't see  color. So, I looked for both of us. Tomorrow, she begins her process of  turning into baby crows.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 7:56pm 17 minutes ago


Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 8:07pm 7 minutes ago
You like this.

Rogi Equality Riverstone
It's  a mating pair. I see them out there, gathering sticks and hunting  little critters to eat. We don't get many wild things here; we're 400  feet above the water table; the river's about 2 miles from here, down  hill. There's no native threes and sparse vegetation. It's open, high  desert prairie with fierce winds. So, the birds, a few lizards and some  field mice are just about it. I haven't even seen evidence of snakes. I  heard coyotes once, but never again. I think they came too close to a  stinking feed lot, hidden back in the hills so the environmental types  (like me) won't bitch about it. I suspect they got shot. It's rugged out  here. That's why the land is so cheap and why mostly very poor people  live out here. Like me.