I Give Up

Sent e-mail message
From: (Rogi Riverstone)
Date: Sun, Sep 21, 2003, 2:48pm
Subject: I give up

I have never had, in ten YEARS in the War Zone, the problem of people being so arrogant and selfish as to approach my dog without my permission. Porkchop is my PROPERTY, legally.

If I wandered up to people's briefcases, purses, etc. and began handling them, you'd have me arrested. But members of the fellowship know SO MUCH about me, my dog, and our needs, they think it's absolutely alright to molest a CHAINED animal, who is trying to defend himself from what he perceives as a threat to his territory!

So, I put my dog outside, and someone out THERE, who defines herself as "knowing a lot about dogs," UNLEASHES my dog, in the presence of her TODDLER, and tells ME I don't know how to handle my animal! TWO year olds, illiterate crack heads know better than to approach a strange dog!

On top of this, NOBODY showed ANY gratitude for the hard work I did, after a MILE WALK to CHURCH AND Smith's, where I bought the pie, of making coffee this morning. Indeed, people COMPLAINED!

They've complained at the food I've brought, too.

NOBODY in the congregation defended me against that Mary bitch, humiliating me that week. In fact, Mary was welcomed to stay in the kitchen, while I was PUSHED!! PUSHED!!! A woman with MS gets PUSHED!? In a so-called "peace" center??? And the reason I'm given why MARY wasn't asked to leave is that "she was washing dishes." In other words, my rights, honor, personal space and safety aren't as important as DIRTY DISHES!

Every week, I hear you all ask each other, "Are you going to lunch with us?" Ask me? Hell no! You can't even be bothered to INTRODUCE yourselves to me! Or SPEAK to me!

I have extended my self in friendship. I have contributed labor and food. I have offered to assist with services.

I will NOT be treated like a servant in CHURCH! I am JUST as good as ANY of you and, from what I've seen, I may even be BETTER than SOME of you!

I want NOTHING more to do with such an abusive, elitist, arrogant, whining, picky, judgmental, HATEFUL clique of dilitantes!

I will see that Marie has your hymnal for you, Kathy. You are the ONLY one who has treated me as a peer, not as an inferior, at best, or human furniture, at worst. And
I'm sorry. You don't KNOW how sorry! You don't KNOW how BADLY I NEED a church! I walk 2 miles each Sunday! It's PAINFUL. You don't KNOW how badly I need church.

But when I offer the best I have to people, and they treat me like dog crap on their shoes, it just breaks my heart.

I Want this read to the Board; it's for them I wrote this, not you. I don't want to cause you any hurt, Kathy.

But I can't keep being patient with this abuse, hoping they'll relax once they get to know me. They've made it VERY clear they don't WANT to know me.

Their loss.

Rogi
*******************
I heard a LOUD snarl outside and went to look.

I had shortened Porky's leash so that he couldn't move more than 2 feet from the gas meter.

When I got outside, YES, that woman WITH A TODDLER!!! had either provoked Porkchop so badly, he'd somehow unclipped his leash or SHE did it. He was standing IN THE SIDEWALK on Silver Street, ONE FOOT AWAY from that baby's FACE!!!!

It was the woman who took my spot on the sofa.

I asked her what the HELL she thought she was doing, approaching a strange dog, a CHAINED dog, like that.

Oh, I work with dogs. I wanted to know if he was friendly.

Well, now you KNOW, DON't you??? Stay the HELL away from other people's property and don't EVER touch ANYTHING that belongs to me again! If you know so much about dogs, how come you didn't know that dogs BITE?? You're going to get me kicked out of CHURCH!

Why doesn't your dog have any food or water??

I refused to answer; I always put a bowl of water out for Pork, except today, because I'd been so busy in the damn kitchen! He could wait til after the service. And FOOD??? Good god, does it look like porchop is HUNGRY?

She was obviously too stupid to care about anything besides her own lack of self-control, and was trying to place the blame on me, implying I was neglecting my dog!

Her stroller, kid and body were blocking the entire sidewalk, and I didn't feel like getting tangled in the pyracantha bush thorns, to try to reenter the building.

So I said, "Get the f___ out of my way, you stupid C___!"

I came in to get my crap, and saw her on the sofa.

I assumed she was there to "rat me out."

My dog is not safe there. I am not safe there. If people had minded their own business and left my dog alone, NONE of this would have happened.

There's no reason why a responsible person can't walk with their dog to church and back without fear of great bodily harm to either of us. If Porkchop bites anybody again, he'll be destroyed. And I'm sure I'll got to jail, possibly prison.

The coffee decision was made without my imput. I have to wake and dress quickly, some Sundays (today included). I have a long, painful walk to get to church. I'd like to rest with a hot cup of coffee and something to eat when I get there. I don't have time here to prepare breakfast and drink coffee. It's at minimum a half hour walk, sometimes an hour. Some weeks, there just isn't time.

I don't get home until nearly 1pm, hot, tired and very hungry. I have to prepare something to eat immediately, in spite of the fact that I'm dehydrated and in great pain. I run a fever for the rest of the day, and into the following.

Then, I have to spend the rest of the day in bed, to recover.

Even the following day, it's painful to walk, I fall easily, my arms are sore from pushing the stroller, and I can't get much work done.

THAT's what I sacrifice to get to church. THAT's how much it meant to me.

I have very limited resources. My health is horrible. I "shouldn't" even bother to try.

When I get there, I try to be friendly, cheerful and helpful.

It's a real effort. I'm always so tired and in so much pain when I get there. And so hungry and thirsty. I haven't complained. I haven't asked for help. But you guys don't know how my body feels when I get there. I need some physical comfort, some food, warm coffee, some sugar in my blood.

I was willing to take responsibility for brewing coffee. None would be wasted; I would take home what's left over for me to microwave. I can't always pay for the coffee, but Smith's has marked-down baked goods, almost every Sunday morning. I can frequently get them on my food stamps for a dollar or 2 per week.

I can't pay membership. So I brought food. No, nobody asked me. I was trying to carry my weight. I also think it's rude to eat in front of others without bringing something for everybody.

Porkchop doesn't get enough exercise, because I have a tiny yard and because I don't walk unless I HAVE to. So, he goes when I go, whether it's for errands, meetings, church or trash picking on Thursdays. He needs the exercise. And I feel safer on the streets with him beside me.

I won't walk without him. But I won't leave him, unprotected, in that parking lot. Some idiot smart ass is going to get bit.

I WILL go to jail. And Porkchop WILL be destroyed! I could end up homeless over this crap. ALL my animals could end up dead, my things stolen or thrown out. I could lose EVERYTHING over this.

My dog doesn't bother people who don't bother my dog. And I plan to KEEP it that way!

You guys didn't know what leaving Porkchop in that parking lot could cost me, but I DID! THAT's how important church is to me. I'd sit inside, worrying if there'd be cops and dog catchers waiting for me when I walked back out. Every time.

Now, if people had just left Porkchop alone, he could still be sleeping by my side, on the sofa in the back, out of everybody's way.

But NO! THEY had to approach him and f___ with me.

I can't trust anybody there.

It's not worth the risk.
********************
Porkchop did not disrupt anything.

People invading his space, disrespecting my property rights, disrupted AUUF.

My dog is NOT their business!

Porkchop was trying to protect himself.

He sees humans as abusive, life threatening dangers. So do I.

I'll take Porkchop over people without boundaries, impulse control and basic manners any day.

Don't blame this on a dog who was protecting himself. That's not fair and it's not honest.

Not my problem any more.

As to my physical pain, a truly welcoming congregation would have offered me a ride.

I don't choose to discuss this further. I will email one, last time to let you know the arrangements I made with Maria for you to get your hymnal.