Poverty Is Not an Accident

Poverty Is Not an Accident
Nelson Mandela

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

House FULL of FOOD!

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I just can't get over it! I have filled my house with the most scrumptious, decadent, tasty, wholesome, wonderful foods!

The turkey's thawing, covered in 2 plastic grocery bags, in the fridge. I even got sausage on sale, for the stuffing. But they won't have cranberries 'til Friday, so I may have to go to Smith's for those.

I got a big, fat bird. I know these Shur-Fine turkeys very well; a bigger bird is just as tender as a small one, and it's more meat-to-bone ratio.

The cats are already looking hopeful.

I watched idiots on food stamps at the store today, pissing away money on processed crap. Thirty dollars would only fill two bags. I filled a WHOLE CART for forty!

I know I probably sound obsessed with food. But let me explain: I have to live on two dollars a day. For awhile, it was three, but it got reduced for reasons I can't understand.

But, for two years, I lived on less than a dollar per day.

I had to take hand outs of half rotten crap from food pantries: catering truck burritos and sandwiches that made me sick, dry goods with bugs in them, dented cans that sometimes spewed bacterial gasses all over the kitchen when punctured with the can opener, breads with mold.

And I made it. From August until November every year, I'd live on meager rations, to save up my food stamps for the winter holiday sales. I can remember one New Year's Day when all that was left was one rib eye steak, a sack of potatoes and a jar of horseradish. I still had a week until the food stamps would come in. But I made biscuits, tortillas and bread, and stretched that damn steak into seven meals. That steak was the last of four, bought at deep discount when the date came up. Each steak cost me less than a "Happy Meal." And I can't tell you how satifying it was to eat.

See, before Christmas, it's possible to get better food. Groceries discount stuff to attract holiday shoppers. Food pantries get better donations.

But after Christmas, it all goes away. It's not just as bad as it was before the Christmas guilt-giving, it's worse. I mean, pantries are barren. And nothing's on sale at the stores.

There's no more depressing feeling than going to bed hungry. Or knowing the food that's left is going to cause intestinal cramping and, well, painful bowel movements, but you've got to eat it, because that's all there is.

So, this seeming obsession with food is really survival.

The current sale goes on for two weeks, instead of the usual one week. I bought a ton of stuff today. But I WILL go back, and I will borrow money against next month's disability check to do it. Because it's rare to find a fifteen pound turkey for five dollars.

The sale will be over before I get next month's food stamps.

And I'll be at the mail box this afternoon, to study the grocery ads that will come in the mail today, to see what else I can scrounge. Maybe some OTHER store will have turkey even CHEAPER! They do have "turkey wars" this time of year, to attract customers.

I am not going to wake up some winter morning and have to invent some slop to eat. I will not spend these winter holidays, all alone, with food poisoning or fitful sleep from hunger.

So, if that means I'm obsessed, so be it.

And I won't have some ignorant bible thumper, spewing hate in my face for a bag of crappy canned goods. I won't bite my tongue, while some Lady Bountiful tells everyone in line how irresponsible we are with our budgets. I won't steal. I won't eat out of a dumpster. I won't.

I'm going to make a banana cream pie, with real cream, and real bananas. I'm going to bake fresh popovers, with real butter and good jams. I'm going to bake apples and bake potatoes.

I'm going to eat turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and sausage stuffing.

I am not going to beg or go without. I already have to go without companionship, employment, decent transportation, medical care, love, respect and, too often, dignity.

I'm going to EAT, dammit!

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