Poverty Is Not an Accident

Poverty Is Not an Accident
Nelson Mandela

Monday, January 31, 2011

don't tell anybody, but I'm very sick

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I cough so hard at the end of the day that I completely empty my lungs, but just keep coughing. I cannot inhale. It's terrifying! Plus, the pressure on my head: I nearly faint, I can't see, I feel the pressure in my head, neck and ears. Blood pounding. I'm really kind of worried I could have a stroke. 

My sinuses are bleeding, almost all day, every day. I feel like I'm strangling, drowning in blood and mucous, trickling down the back of my throat. There's always blood when I blow my nose.

And, what I thought was plain old lower back pain appears to be kidneys. I get a throbbing contractions when I urinate, if my bladder is very full.

I'm very weak and fatigue easily, but I have to pack to move. And it's going to snow and be very cold tomorrow as a storm covers most of the continent, so today, I have to get the goats, trailer, etc. ready for bad weather. 

That's after hitch hiking over a hundred miles, from 9:30am to 4: 30pm yesterday, to see my new place.

I'm so sick. I just wish I could spend ONE DAY in bed, in peace, in warmth. But I can't. 

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