I'm Edward Scissorhands

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I get so sick of being treated like a freak.

I walked to the store today. Cars literally got in my way, staring at me. Why? I was dressed nicely. I was just pushing my cart and walking my dog. Jesus!

Some winos started circling me in front of Family dollar.

There's a painted island in the middle of the road there. So, I waited for oncoming traffic and ordered Porkchop into the island. I was going to get right back on the same side of the road, after passing the winos.

But I wanted to wait for the oncoming traffic from the other direction. I knew this maneuver would be confusing for Porkchop, and didn't want to take the chance he'd walk into traffic.

I was waiting for a minivan, followed by a pick up. The minivan slowed, and I waved it on. The bastard driving it flipped me off!

I'm in a lot of pain today. A LOT. I've been cleaning house the past, two days. Nothing major, but, for reasons I don't understand, my shoulders and neck are REALLY bad. Pushing the cart aggrevates it.

When I got to the check out, I explained that I was in a lot of pain, and asked for help, removing the groceries to be scanned.

The clerk acted all put-upon and gave me a lecture. He told me I was at the wrong register...as if I should know this? He made a big production about it and wouldn't shut up. I finally lost my temper, put the groceries back in the cart, and went over to the other register, which had 4 people in line and a very slow clerk. The other man's line had noone in it but me.

He STILL wouldn't shut up about it, so I yelled. I said, I walk 2 miles to buy groceries there. I'm a regular customer. I'm disabled. I never ask for help. And the ONE TIME I politely request assistance, I have to endure this passive-aggressive resistance and a lecture on how stupid I am for getting in the "wrong" lane! Like I'm Miss Cleo, the psychic, or something, and should KNOW there's a "right" lane?

Again, on the way home, stares. Blatant, slack jawed, bug eyed stares, giggles and comments.

I came home with 10 lbs of oranges, 2 gallons of milk, a 23 lb. turkey and a bunch of other stuff. How the hell am I SUPPOSED to get that all home one mile, without a car???

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So, I'm watching Edward Scissorhands, in Spanish..which actually makes it even more interesting. I've actually heard 2 Spanish puns already, and it's only 14 mins. into the movie!

She's driving him home, thru her suburb, and people are STARING, slack jawed, bug eyed, and phoning each other to gossip!

People suck.

ANYway, I bought some tofu today, so I can stir a couple of tablespoons per day into gravies, sauces, etc. It's got estrogen and it's got that good cholestorol or omega 3 or whatever in it, and it's much more neutral than TUNA every day!

I also saw that SHRIMP has omega 3 in it! So, I'm waiting for a shrimp sale. A couple of tablespoons of shrimp a day certainly wouldn't be hard to eat! LOL. But I'll wait 'til I can get it for three bucks a pound or less.

I got big, fat limes, 8/dollar and HUGE, naval oranges, fifty cents/lb. The oranges are quite tasty.

I'm waiting for my turkey to thaw. It's big enough, it can almost last the whole month, if I'm careful.

I broke it down: I have twenty a month for meat, twenty for fruits & vegies, and twenty for everything else.

I've already spent fifteen on the turkey.

Sigh.

Well, I'm going to watch ol' Eddie Scissorhands now. I need a good cry.

Burrrr...Mugwart's been outside! He's walking on my nekkid calves with icy puddy toes! jees! He gets cold very easily, and it's my job to warm him up. brrrrrrrr it's like having someone poke me with an ice cube! Ever heard that song, "Popsickle Toes?" I don't remember who sang it, but I LOVE that song! I swear it shoulda been written about cats!

"When I Look In Your Eyes"
by Diana Krall

When God gave out rhythm
He Sure was good to you
You can add, subtract, multiply and divide by two

I know today's your birthday and I did not buy no rose
But I wrote this song, instead, and I call it ";Popsicle toes.";

Popsicle toes
Popsicle toes are always froze
Popsicle toes
You're so brave to expose
All those Popsicle toes

You must have been Mr. Olympian
With all that amplitude;
How come you always load your Pentax when I am in the nude?
We can have a birthday party and you can wear your birthday clothes, Then we can hit the floor and go explore those Popsicle toes

You've got the finest North America This sailor ever saw
I like to feel your warm Brazil and touch your Panama.
But your Tierra del Fuegos are nearly always froze
We've got to seesaw 'til we finally thaw those Popsicle toes.

Isn't that cute?