It's Sunday

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I slept in! Didn't wake up 'til seven thirty!

It's too hot already to mess with the scooter tire, so I'll have to call Robert for a ride in a few minutes.

My empty lot garden & my little yard are lit by xmas & Halloween lights now. Looks nice out there! Still have plenty of clutter, though; I'm rearranging my storage out there.

I want my kitchen stuff: stored canned goods, hot plate, electric oven, etc. closer to the front door, in case of foul weather. It's hard to run through mud and dog poo in the middle of a freezing, winter night, for a can of beans!

So, slowly but surely, I'm moving all my fire wood back out to the "empty" lot. I have whole trees, cut for fire wood, so it's a real job. I just do a log or two per day, to save my strength. The little corner where I plan to move my outdoor kitchen only has about 20 logs left. But they're longer than normal, hence, heavier.

I'm totally enjoying being in the yard and not the station; I needed to get that place out of my head for awhile.

Maybe it's all human institutions, but there's an unhealthy atmosphere there. One is expected to sacrifice one's own needs for the good of the institution.

Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much, if I weren't working at a deficit to start with.

But the extra, wasted time required by the lack of facilities, recording equipment, computers is really frustrating! I have to move from place to place and set up all my files again, where ever I go. It wastes time. Or, I just stand around, waiting for people to exit studios, so I can edit audio.

I need to focus on throwing together a small audio studio, right here. I need a mic. I need a functional computer, on which I can upload the audio program.

It shouldn't cost too much. I can probably do it for less than a hundred dollars.

I HAVE a computer, but some Windows files are corrupted. I know someone from whom I can request help. I think.

If I could research stories from home and edit audio here, I'd only have to come to the station to record phone & in person interviews. No WAY I'm making long distance calls to Washington, DC from HERE!

I actually know TWO guys. But one of the guys makes promises to me on a regular basis which he habitually forgets he made, leaving me in the lurch. I dread handing him my computer! It could possibly languish in his garage for decades!

Oh, and I need a monitor; mine pooped out. Made some radical, day glow colors for a few months, before it died...

Surely, I can put something together.

Anyway, that's one reason I'm emptying stuff out into the empty lot: I've designated a 4' long spot in the living room for media.

I'll have to be careful of WHEN I record there. When Raoul's awake, he's drunk, high and screaming.

Maybe I should fix it so the mic stretches to the bathroom?

I'll figure it out.

Anyway, while KUNM has more resources than many community radio stations, it's also more crowded with people, because there's more local production than many other such stations.

Which is a good thing. I don't like living in a town where the community radio station just burps up the NPR feeds!

So, KUNM is a fiesty place, which I respect.

I'll figure it out, eventually....

Don't confuse kindness with weakness

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I've heard that phrase twice today. First, in "Bounty," and now in some silly Hallie Barry movie.

It struck me. I remembered it. I paid attention to it.

I know people do that with me.

I'm generaly a well-mannered person. I first noticed this confusion in people while I was living in the war zone.

Anyway, I noticed it.

I'm sure I do it, too: confuse kindness with weakness.

But it's an interesting expression, I think.

I certainly know better than to confuse cruelty with strength!

I find bullies to be cowards.

Ant Bite!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I try so hard, not to disturb the red ant nests out there! But I still got stung in the foot! Ouchies! They get inside my shoes.

I did three loads of laundry this morning and totally soaked my flower beds, so I can pull more weeds.

I arranged planters. I hung my rainbow-striped Hobie sail from a tree, for shade over my lawn furniture in the back corner.

I set part of my witch & cat collection in my flower pots.

I took my big janitor's push broom and swept the sticks and gravel up, to make water barriers around the yard. It's much easier to walk out there now, without the big rocks and sharp sticks. But man, that was a job!

I raked apart that chipped wood pile, to let air in to dry it. It'll be used to bank and cover flower beds.

I hung 3 large pictures I'd found in the trash along the back fence.

I stacked kindling and started moving fire wood.

I organized some gardening tools.

I worked about four, maybe five, hours out there today.

I have the air conditioner on now. Just finished a lunch of "balogna tacos." I put cottage cheese inside folded slices of balogna. Cream cheese, if I have any.

I'll rest for the day now, except for hanging laundry.

I'll have a big day, cooking at Food Not Bombs tomorrow, so I need my rest.

That "empty" lot out there is turning into the cutest garden!

I even strung my long utility cord all the way to the back corner, so I can put a radio and a lamp out there.

It's all under a tree, whose leaves made rich, composted soil. That's where I'm putting in new flower beds. And, because of the 2 story apartment building next door, and the tree, it stays pretty fresh and cool for most of the day. It'll be a great place to sit and watch bees. And the cats really like it.

I think I'll break into my yogurt again now...wish I had some cookies....

I could make cookies tomorrow, huh? we have chocolate and pine nuts and some other good stuff....

Hope there's a good movie on this afternoon. I just want to be a potato...

Weapons Grade Uranium Removal

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

051305-WEAPONS GRADE URANIUM REMOVAL

LEAD IN:

RECENTLY, SECRETARY OF ENERGY SPENCER ABRAHAM ANNOUNCED A SET OF NEW INITIATIVES TO IMPROVE SECURITY ACROSS THE ENERGY DEPARTMENT'S NETWORK OF LABORATORIES AND DEFENSE FACILITIES, PROMPTING STRONG REACTIONS FROM GOVERNMENT WATCH DOG GROUPS. ROGI RIVERSTONE HAS MORE.
SCRIPT:

Peter Stockton served under Bill Richardson in the Energy department during the Clinton Administration. He is a Senior Investigator with Project On Government Oversight, a watchdog group committed to open government.

[Stockton describes mock attack on Technical Area 18 at Los Alamos National Laboratories :038]

Computer simulations could replace nuclear-defense experiments at the Sandia Pulse Reactor facility in New Mexico, according to Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham. He says removal of the reactor's fuel and shipment to a permanent storage area could occur within three years.

[Stockton describes the reactor, and the savings to the government upon its removal and the removal of fuel. 0:30]

Paul Robinson is more skeptical. He is research director with Southwest Research and Information Center, an environmental education and social justice group.

[Robinson describes lack of planning for disposal of nuclear materials from the Sandia Pulse Reactor. He describes recently disclosed land fills and yard holes, containing equally-dangerous materials, which the Secretary of Energy does not address. 0:47]

The Energy Secretary also recommends expediting construction of a Highly Enriched Uranium Materials Facility at the Y-12 National Security Complex in Tennessee to allow consolidation of nuclear materials stored there. Mr. Stockton describes the situation.

[Stockton describes security at Y-12 0:20]

The Department of Energy will also assess whether essential defense-related work at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California could be relocated, allowing removal of special nuclear material from that facility.

Greg Mello is director of the Los Alamos National Study Group, a non-profit, research oriented, nuclear disarmament organization based in Albuquerque. He describes the security concerns of storing weapons-grade uranium at Livermore.

[Greg Mello describes facilities at Livermore and their proximity to heavily-populated areas 0:30]

In his press release, outlining the responsibilities and risks to DOE, Secretary Abraham is quoted as saying, "Since the stakes are so high, everything is on the table."

Paul Robinson recommends consideration of other concerns, not mentioned in Abraham's statement.
[Robinson on recently-disclosed "yard hole" dumps at Sandia Labs 0:35]

Energy Secretary Abraham proposes a three-year timetable for removal of weapons-grade uranium at sites he outlines. This would put the deadline at the middle of the next Presidential administration. In a prepared statement, U.S. Senator Pete Domenici said he continues to have concerns that security costs are outpacing any growth in the DOE budget, and that he will work with Secretary Abraham to consolidate special nuclear material where it [quote] "makes financial sense and will not undermine the program." [end quote]

Domenici is chairman of the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee. He also serves chairman of the Senate Energy and Water Development Appropriations Subcommittee, which funds DOE and the national laboratories.

Greg Mello recommends public involvement, vigilance and persistence to remove weapons-grade uranium in our communities.

[Greg Mello describes problems with accountability
0:40]

New Mexico Congressional Representative Heather Wilson declined to comment for this report.

For KUNM, this is Rogi Riverstone

It's DONE!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Ok, I got all the bits of sound put together. Before I mixed it down into an audio file, I had Renee come in and listen to it.

NEVER ask your news director to listen to a piece BEFORE you pee!

And the damn thing is nearly six minutes long! ugh!

So, she listened. Six minutes is a long time, especially for a hard news piece, especially one on weapons grade uranium, especially the terrorist and environmental implications of same.

So, I hopped from foot to foot outside the newsbooth as she listened. I saw no change in facial expression; she betrayed nothing that I could detect.

It was agony.

When it was done, she said,

"that's fine."

I said, "I need to adjust the sound levels on the phone interviews; they're too low."

"Yeah, and that one cut you mentioned while it was playing."

"So, what do you think?"

"I think it's good. How long is it?"

Now, I expected the Hammer to fall...it's damn near twice as long as normal.

"Five minutes, fifty eight seconds," I said, cringing.

"That's ok; it's a good piece. Edit the lead in and put it in Ready For Air."

Unless something dastardly happens between now and 5 pm Monday, she'll air it then.

I also made another copy, leaving off my sign-off of "for KUNM," to FTP to Pacifica.

I FTPed it; I emailed them with the title of the audio; I emailed them the lead in and my script.

That's all I can do, for now.

How satisfying! Such a complex, heavy, stressful, technical story! But I made it easy to hear and understand. And it's "ear-catching." I made sure to modulate my voice in a crisp, musical, warm but efficient audio file, so it's easier to hear. A spoon full of sugar and all.

Paul Ingles also listened to part of it and complimented my reading.

I hugged Tristan, for helping me with the editing.

Leslie Clark, a paid reporter, drove me home tonight.

She sat in my empty lot/garden with me and filled me in on some station history. I have a much more clear understanding of why certain people do what they do...or don't.

She, too, said I'm a good writer and good reporter. In fact, she wants me to help her edit something she's writing that's not news related!

Good lord!

I'm thinking of little presents I can get people if fsrn pays me. I want to thank people for their generosity, patience and support. Nothing fancy: just little gifts.

I'm buying Danny some beer! LOL.

But I'm not saying what else I'm getting, nor for whom. They might read this blog and ruin their surprise.

I think I know now who "ratted" on me yesterday. I suspected yesterday.

I'm letting it go. It really scared me and hurt me. But, if it's who I think it is, the person looks scared all the time. And not just with me, but with others.

I'll just pretend it didn't happen. Everybody who needs to knows how I feel.

I won't try to confront or befriend this person.

But, if I'm right, this isn't a person with whom I need or even WANT to work, anyway.

No big loss. But people do agree with me that going to the station manager, rather than the volunteer director, was shooting a gnat with an elephant gun. It's not done; it's bad form.

Next week, demolition of the station starts in earnest. I plan to be a scarce as possible, at least for awhile.

I want to learn to webmaster the KUNM.org news site. But I won't be producing major work right now. I can collect my interviews for the No Child Left Behind story.

But no sound editing, reporting, etc. next week.

I also need to go through the bull snot to get hired there.

That, and gardening and house cleaning, ought to keep me plenty busy!

The Hot House Flowers are all going to have their panties in a twist, anyway, with the hammering and wall-breaking and ladders and......

If I show up, the Hot House Flowers might just spontaneously combust!

So, I'll give them, and myself, a break from THAT stress!

There's not going to be a women's restroom for awhile!

The music department is moving into the old newsroom, while we "evacuate" to the conference room.

It's a HUGE mess. Sounds like they planned it well. But there will be construction noise on the air from time to time.

I'll try to bring plenty of good food, to comfort people.

But I'm not interested in taking up too much studio space; studios will be down, one at a time, for awhile and everybody will be desperate for recording equipment.

So, I'll stay out of the way.

I feel much better. Paul talked with me for a good long while today. And so did Leslie.

Shoot, I was so freaked out and snotty yesterday, Tom actually smiled at me and was gentle and kind! He's a bit...shall we say...brusque? at times. He's a good guy; he just makes me nervous sometimes.

So, everybody's getting presents.

Whether cooked, home made, store bought... they're all getting stuff.

I want to thank them.

This is the first time in a LONG time that I've felt like a human being.

And it's been WAY too long since I've felt like a reporter!

And I AM good!

In fact, it's the ONLY thing I'm good at, besides cat farming....

>^oo^<

Press and liberty

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Well, I almost quit today. Someone complained about me. Not to Rachel, my supervisor; no, they went all the way to the Station Manager.

Apparantly, they're offended that I spoke to them when they came into the volunteer room while I was on the computer and they were making copies. And, apparantly, they're too chicken to speak to me. And, apparantly, they're offended that I spent so much time on the Volunteer Room computer, at all.

I've been crying all day. What a sneaky, vicious, underhanded, cold-blooded, spineless way to deal with their concerns!

I stayed, as I had no ride home. And I worked on my story as long as I dared.

I had many interruptions today; I had to move from computer to computer. Reloading all my sound and text documents took a lot of time.

I didn't get it done.

Rachel gave me a ride home. I was just listening to DemocracyNOW! They broadcast a speech by Bill Moyers regarding free press, democracy, and the undermining of our rights.

There's no transcript; I can't post it here. The sound file is here: http://play.rbn.com/?url=demnow/demnow/demand/2004/may/video/dnB20040513a.rm&proto=rtsp&start=30:05.88.

WebTV can't hear it, sorry.

At the end, he describes "printers," the old word for journalists, and the persecution, pettiness, hair splitting, and painting-into-a-corner journalists have suffered at the hands of the status quo.

Something about journalists as people who speak the truth. Something about journalists as people of passion.

That's me.

People won't respond to news that doesn't engage them, doesn't make them feel the passion.

The reason I'm a good journalist is because I'm passionate. And that's the reason why I'm perceived as a threat.

So, to whomever ratted me out, let me tell you: I don't have an office; I don't have an office door; I don't have a computer that's always the same as it was when I walked away; I don't have a car; I don't have a college degree; I don't have even a paycheck for what I do! In fact, this is costing me time, energy and money!

If you can't be even a little tolerant, flexible and generous with PUBLIC facilities, maybe you need to work for Clear Channel and get the hell out of PUBLIC radio!

I WILL NOT GET IN THE BACK OF THE BUS! I will NOT get small and invisible, for your comfort level.

I heard a rap song today. Here's a quote: Apartheid is a head ache cure.

Well, I refuse.

Talk to ME! Speak up or shut up!

I work harder, with fewer resources, than you do. I produce high-quality work, from a WebTV and a toy scooter!

Get out of my way!

ok, I give up

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Sigh.

I'm too sleepy. I know it's only nine, but, dang it!

I'm ninety percent exhausted and the rest worn out.

I pulled about twenty five feet of weeds this morning, before Danny got here.

I ain't done spit since I got home, but walk to the empty mail box, gnaw some cold meat and suck a yogurt thing.

I've got to remember to cook my turkey breast soon! It must be thawed out by now. Maybe in the morning?

I ain't worth shootin', I'm so tired.

I'm watching a 3rd Rock rerun, which is very simple, and I can't understand it.

blah.

I borrowed 2 batteries for the keyboard today. I'll replace them when I get paid.

yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwn
g'night!

I'll probably wake up at three!

jees, louise!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Well, the sound is edited. Neither Wilson nor Dominici, though. Wilson's office formally bowed out; she's overwhelmed with the Iraq prisoner abuse photos and the decapitation. I suspect the same is true for Dominici.

Still have an email in to the DOE, and to the Governor's office.

But I'm ready to run with what I have.

Danny gave me a ride again. I did the STUPIDEST thing: I left a 2 lb package of that dang hamburger meat, just inside the gate, on the ground.

When I got home, of course, Porkchop had eaten it. Sigh.

So, I was stupid hungry most of the day; bread, vegies and yogurt just aren't enough. I was running into walls and fighting head aches.

Had a few laughs in the newsroom today, which is fun. Renee's getting there earlier now, so it's not so tense and crowded before air time.

I hung a hummingbird feeder for the mother hummer yesterday. It's nice to watch her.

I put some bowls under air conditioner drips today, to collect water for the flower pots on the patio. I'm going to transplant some sunflowers, marigolds and tomato plants into them.

I'm dog tired. But I've even begun my script.

It's good to be part of that madness at the station.

Nobody can find the microwave, the water cooler, the fax machine, etc. since Danny had to move them into the volunteer room in preparation for construction.

Remodelling begins next week.

Hold on to your hats!

It's going to be a holy mess. They're moving the newsroom out, into the conference room, very soon. They'll knock our wall down, give us more room, give Renee an office with an actual door, redo the windows...

By the time we get back, we won't recognize the joint!

The conference room has lots of phone lines, for pledge drives. I guess our phones and puters will be hooked up easier there.

But the sun, through that big picture window, is gonna fry our brains!

Poor Richard, the station manager! He's in the office next to the conference room. And we newsies are loud! I think he's in that office to get as FAR away from everybody as possible!

We're like hyperactive hornets.

Maybe he'll take some vacation time, and avoid the whole mess.

I HOPE I'll have my story ready for air tomorrow. I'm sick of looking at it! LOL

And tomorrow, by gawd, I'm takin' some dang MEAT!

SHEESH!

oh, my achin legs...

yawn

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

As little as I wanted to, I washed most of the dishes tonite.

My keyoard atteries are dying.

I can't type much longer. poop.

I have one dollar left, for new ones.

nutzzz

almost done

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I have most of my interviews done. I still need something from Heather Wilson's office, and from Pete Dominici's. I asked Renee today how to light a fire under them, so I could get some sound for my story. So, SHE called them in Washington, DC. She was on the phone to Dominici's office, the 2nd she'd called, when Wilson's guy called me on the other line! LOL

I'm having a hard time with this ego business. I'm better served if I speak with authority to these people, but I can't afford to be swaggery and arrogant, either.

I almost peed my pants today, for instance, when I heard Tom Trowbridge tell some military guy on the phone, well, tell the General I'm pretty pissed he didn't call me back when he said he would.

I told Tom, "you're going to have the Office of Homeland Security crawling up our plumbing, if you keep that up!"

I could NEVER pull that off! I'm more the happy-to-talk-to-you type, myself. I'm a little apologetic, for imposing on people's time. It's kind of Southern, rather than East coasty.

But I'll have to get a little pushier, or I'll miss out on a lot.

I'm not predatory.

I am smart; I grasp stuff and learn fast. I can bluff my way through iffy stuff pretty well.

But I always thank my interviews profusely for their generosity and assistance. And it's heart felt; it's not fake or manipulative.

Heck, I actually wore down a crusty nuclear physicist today! He WANTED to be mad at me, cuz I blew him off last night, so I could get a ride home. And I called back later than I'd said this morning. He was a tad gruff and even a bit patronizing at times, during our interview. BUt we spoke for over 23 minutes. ANd I apologized all over the place and explained my situation to him. And he was very genteel and nice about it all at the end of the interview.

I muddled through the best I could. I'm obviously not a nuclear physicist, but I understood everything he said. ANd I'm not a local historian on the two National Labs here. But maybe the fact I can't find my butt with both hands actually makes me a better interviewer: if they can make ME understand it, the listeners should get it, too. So I ask a LOT of questions, and make them explain all the alphabet soup of agencies and all the jargon and buzz words.

I learned a LOT today, and I've got a GOOD report started! And Renee says I can have five minutes, so that's kewl.

I hate nukes. I avoid even learning about them. My 2 older brothers, both long gone before I was born, were Fat Man and Little Boy, the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. My parents met and fell in love at Oakridge, Tenn. I heard them brag all the time about their dang bombs, and I could never compete!

So, nukes freak me out on a lot more levels than most people! I'm jealous of them! I wished my parents had been as proud of me as they were of those damn mass murdering hunks of crap!

....sigh.

BUT! Nukes and the Labs are national stories; I can access them locally and sell them nationally.

Now, Sandia, in particular, does a helluva lot more than nukes: some of it I find fascinating. Like telescopes, chaos theory, artificial life, etc.

So, I shouldn't get bored nor burned out.

BUt there were times, during my interviews, when I disassociated today. I just couldn't hear what my subjects were saying anymore. It was the same experience I had in those special classes for genius kids. I was math phobic..still am...and would just black out when the pressure was on.

That happened during interviews today: I'd come to and have NO idea what we'd been talking about!

I reviewd the audio and took notes, though. So I know what they said and what time they said it, so I can grab sound easier.

It was embarrassing, though. I felt ashamed, interviewing people and not being able to stay present.

I was pretty well tortured, as a child, for not doing well in math and science, particularly as Dad was an electronics engineer.

The shame makes it worse, of course: the fear I'll get caught, "daydreaming." I'm not daydreaming; I'm checked out; I'm not even THERE! People don't really understand.....

My memory and my black outs haunt me all the time. I'm scared to death I'll burn the house down or kill an animal some how or break equipment at the station or.......

I'm MUCH better than I was twenty years ago, but it's still torture.

By the way: the math phobia and disassociation were so bad, I've never managed to pass high school algebra!

Yet I can explain chaos theory and fractals.

Go figure!

Imagine my supper

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Check this out: bite sized pieces of barbequed, rubbed and blackened Angus beef London broil, scattered over fresh brocolli, baked potato with sour cream. Everything topped with a strip of bacon, chopped.

What a fabulous feast! I can't eat it all, although I was careful not to serve too much meat.

I got my garden watered.

I got the scooter tire off in less than a minute, with the borrowed alan wrench! The tube is reusable, once it's patched. I washed off tire and tube; they're drying thoroughly before I reassemble everything.

Danny's giving me a ride to the station tomorrow, anyway.

FSRN.org wrote back; they are interested in my DOE story.

My legs are miserable. Ugh.

Those yogurt thingies are really good! I know they're evil; they're day-glow pink, for cryin' out loud! And they've got lots of sugar in them. I'm TRYING not to eat em all; I can easily eat 2 at a time, and do...sheepish grin.

I'll have to fix me up a way to make my own yogurt. That way, I can use up left over fruit from FNB, reduce the sugar, and make my own yummy. Yogurt's a pain in the bazongas, though...

I guess, the way milk prices shot up overnight, there's not much difference between home made and bought, in price. sigh.

But I can get marked down milk more often than discounted yogurt.

I wouldn't have bought THOSE, if they hadn't been fifty cents a dang BOX! LOL That's like sixteen candy bars for a dollar! But a tiny bit healthier. Even if they make my guts glow in the dark....snort.

It's cool and pleasant. I have my baby box fan, on the shelf beside the bed, going. But it's nice now. Especially since I "water" my wooden fence, while watering the flower beds under them...breeze blows through; house is cool and fresh.

I can't find out which company provides security guards for Sandia and LANL...maybe they're hired by the labs...but I swear they have a union...I need to talk about working conditions for guards at the lab...someone today let it slip that morale's low.

...thinking out loud; sorry..

Much better day!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I'm working on a story about the DOE's announcement that they plan to remove weapons-grade uranium from Sandia and Los Alamos labs.

People actually called me back! LOL

Even poor Tom Udall, whom I accidentally gave the wrong number. He let it ring and ring, and someone picked up and hung up on him! oops....

ANyway, I got him. I also got a guy from POGO.org. THE guy, apparantly. He used to be Richardson's assistant at DOE under Clinton. He's part of a watchdog group now.

I also need to get interviews with the security guards' union. And I'd like an interview with Homeland Security.

This is a story I can sell, I think. ALready emailed Melinda at FSRN.org. She'll pitch it to the editorial staff.

I didn't freak out when the headphones were broken. I didn't panic when I walked into Studio C and found the PHONE had been taken out and taken apart! I just put it all back together...

There's a hummingbird nest in a tree branch on the patio outside the building. And the baby robins have their flight feathers, and are sulking in a tree, away from their nest. Their parents are pretty nervous, though...

Danny, from Operations, gave me a ride home and will pick me up in the morning.

I ate: Strawberries, salmon, bread & butter and yogurt for lunch. Quite satisfying!

And Renee straightened me out on how I can get hired at KUNM, so I'll be calling Staff Services for help wit my resume tomorrow!

Things are looking up!

Even though I missed my appt. at Voc Rehab today, the lady emailed back and is going to ask my "counsellor" to try to schedule something more quickly than 2 months from now.

And I borrowed enough money to cover my bank acc't.

Sigh.....

OH! And Kevin, the engineer, let me borrow some alan wrenches, that might help me fix my scooter wheel!

SO THERE!

and it's Monday again

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I'm in pain. I have to walk to the station and to the bank today. I'm really dreading it. Especially as I'll be pushing the little stroller, with my research, lunch and tote bag in it.

A hot shower will help a bit. I ran out of asprin.

It's going to be a hard day. It's getting hot here, and walking in heat is very hard on me.

I'm scared. And I'm discouraged, because I can't take care of my money stuff and go to that appointment on the same day, without a car or bus fare.

I've waited four months for help from Vocational Rehabilitation. I don't know what they'll do to me, when I miss that appointment.

But I've got to let it go. There's only so much I can do.

I didn't know that bank would reduce my income for the month by nearly half. There's no way I could have known, and nothing else I could have done to circumvent the damage they caused.

If that woman at the radio station hadn't bought me all that cat and dog food last month, I'd be in serious trouble this month.

Once I earn enough money to get out from under that direct deposit advance, I'll close that bank account, open a new one, and have Social Security deposit my check there. No more of this! A person shouldn't have to be afraid of their own bank!

I'll ask around at the station about financial institutions that are human. Wells Fargo isn't; they're opportunistic predators. And they have a policy of blaming the customers they victimize!

Heck, they STILL haven't posted my MSNTV bill for the month! They've received it; I checked my MSNTV account yesterday; Wells Fargo received the MSNTV bill on the 5th. But they haven't posted it into my account yet. They're hoping I'll overdraw my account, so they can charge fees.

They didn't post the "fee" for almost a week, for my desperate calls when my ATM card stopped working and I couldn't use my PIN number to check my accounts. They charge two dollars for customer assistance calls! Unless the customer couldn't access an account without personal assistance, which I couldn't. I can't access my account by phone without the PIN number. And the "online banking" statement is never up-to-date!

So, as soon as I can earn the three hundred dollars I'm having to advance myself every month, at a "fee" of ten per cent, I'm out of that crap hole.

Right now, though, I need to bathe, eat and pack lunch.

I really don't want to get out of this soft, comfortable, dark bed.

yeah, it's Mothers' Day

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

It wasn't dreadful enough today.

I just discovered all three kittens are dead.

I put them in a yogurt box and slipped them into the dumpster down the alley. The truck comes for dumpsters on Mondays and Thursdays.

It looks like they died peacefully, in their sleep. No trauma, no damage.

I guess Osa just gave up on them.

Another Mothers' Day of dead babies.

Osa looks a bit stunned and lost, confused.

Now I know why she kept cuddling me whenever I lay down today.

She'll heal.

I never will.

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

They've screwed up Blogger. It's now not nearly as compatible with MSNTV, and I'm having serious difficulty posting. For one thing, the form field window in which I write blogs is only half as wide as it was and only about half as long. The words, "difficulty posting," above, for example, fill the width of the field.

I can't get any of the buttons to work. For instance, it SAYS I can allow comments to my blog, but the dang button won't send me to a different page! It just sits there. Other buttons and links, too.

It's been a hard day. My front tire is flat. I can't remove it. I need a bigger alan wrench than I've got. It won't stay inflated, even with fix a flat. I think it's the valve stem, at this point.

I forgot I had an appointment scheduled with Vocational Rehabilitation in the morning, for a half day battery...and is battery the word!... of psychological "exams." I can't go. I don't have bus money. And I HAVE to go to the station, as someone has offered to loan me some money, until I can finish a story for FSRN. I HAVE to deposit money in the bank in the morning!

I forgot yesterday that I had the appointment. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten cigarettes.

Whenever I have some "weird" occasion, such as this appointment, it gets lost --no matter how hard I try to remember it.

I'm very tired: sick tired. I got too hot and dehydrated today. And I didn't get much food, either. What I got is mostly produce, which certainly is helpful. It's not quite all I'd need for a week, but it's a fair amount.

I'm miserable about this bank thing: the decrease in income this month is really messing me up.

AND, the bastards TRIED to charge me two dollars, plus state tax, because I HAD to telephone about my account, when my PIN number wouldn't work! The person I spoke with today couldn't reverse it; he went to his supervisor and SHE refused to reverse it. When he told me that, I threw a FIT! He went back to the supervisor and she finally reversed the charges.

Friggin' THIEVES!!

It's Sunday

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

...time to pretend I'm strong enough to drag my tired hiney down to Project Share to cook for Food Not Bombs today.

I went to the Mothers Acting Up parade yesterday. IT was pitiful. They didn't even TRY to promote it within the community. I think only about 20 adults marched. At the park, about half a dozen progressive causes set up tables.

There were no signs or banners, explaining why we were walking around, downtown, dressed in silly hats and pushing strollers.

It made no sense to passers by.

I asked an organizer for the left over cake for FNB. She says she lives only 3 blocks away and will bring it this morning, but I'm not holding my breath.

I have a slow leak in my front tube. I don't have an alan wrench large enough to loosen the bolt and remove the tire. So, I just stopped and pumped up the tire a lot on my way home.

As I started to drive home, I realized I was at 12th and Mountain. The Pueblo Center smoke shop is only a few blocks north, so I wrote a check for a carton.

Someone's loaning me some money on Monday, so I can put the amount in my bank. Makes me nervous, though...

But I need to work on my stories this week, and a long ride up there for smokes is a big deal. So, it's done.

I went home a different way this time. Because it was only about 5 pm on a Saturday, I thought Central Ave, old Route 66, might not be so crowded. And it wasn't.

Normally, I avoid Central.

I found a dumpster in the street. A bar is remodelling. I found pour spouts, the kind that plug into bottles like corks. I've always wanted some, for soy sauce, bbq sauce, etc.

I also found a HUGE piece of styrofoam, slightly longer than the dog carrier on my trailer and just as wide, painted day-glow orange. I don't know how to describe the shape, but I call it my fish bobber. It really looks like some sort of giant fishing tackle.

So, I redid my trailer, when I got home. I'll HAVE to take a picture and post it! No WAY I can describe it!

I watched part of "Hannibal" last night: what a waste of film, location and good actors! And the child abuse at the end is completely out of character with Dr. Lecter. It was unforgiveable!

I loved "Silence of the Lambs." I understood Dr. Lecter, completely. I may not have understood WHY he ended up as he was: the specific trauma(s) that turned him into a predatory, cannabalistic executioner. But I understood that he'd reached the conclusion that some particularly corrupt people deserved to die. And I understood his medical/culinary "creativity."

This wasn't Lecter; this was a cheap imitation. Tony Hopkins should have turned it down.

Too bad: Florence is the PERFECT setting for Lecter! Talk about a cannibalistic, elitist, judgmental history! Ah, well....

So, the tv version was perfect for me, and I'm glad I only checked in an hour after it started. I didn't need to see the whole thing, and I avoided the graphic violence.

I think it's in poor taste ...pardon the pun... to show such a movie during the Iraqi prisoner scandal. It merely confirms international suspicions that Americans are sick, twisted sadists. Not just Lecter: almost everybody in the movie was perverted. And Lecter perverts a child. Inexcuseable.

It made me realize, however, how little American films explore historically significant locations. I loved hearing about and seeing Florence!

Bottom line: Osa's at my elbow, taking minibreaks from her brats. I found a 3rd kitten...it's REALLY dark in that drawer! So, she has a white, a black and a grey. I think they're all long haired, like she.

I'll sell two for ten dollars, each. That will pay to have her spayed. She's my last, "fertile" cat, until the remaining kitten grows.

By then, I should be writing news stories regularly enough that neutering won't be such a financial problem.

I tried to keep her from getting pregnant, honest. I've managed twice. I guess that means she's TWO years old, not a year. I skipped a year in my memory, but started counting last night and figured it out.

Mugwart's getting so old, he won't be around much longer. He's almost 20. He's very healthy, don't get me wrong. But he's falling apart: bad eyes, missing teeth, creeky...just like me.

The others are relatively young: Chaco's the oldest, maybe 8; Miss Thing's about 5. Osa and Ivan are her kittens; they're 2.

It's a pretty morning; I've got my girl at my elbow; the scooter's outrageous; food's cooked and more is coming; freezer's full.

I can't complain. Well, maybe I could, but what good would it really do?

FOOD!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I barbequed! I got 3 whole salmons and bbqed one. I bbqed a London broil and a pound of lean burger meat. AND, I got cheap crawdads!

I boiled the crawdads in crab boil. I covered the burger and broil in some char seasoning I'd found in the trash. The salmon was brushed with some Japanese sauce I found in the trash; I don't know what it is, but it's sweet and has soy sauce in it.

I also found a bottle of cocktail sauce in the trash, so that was good with the crawdads.

Nicole, my neighbor, came over. We had bread, butter, jam, crawdads, sauce, salmon and strawberries!

I have 4 pkgs of the hamburger and another broil in the freezer with the 2 other salmons.

I got TEN boxes of "gogurts," marked down to fifty cents each!

I got a quart of milk for fifty cents. I got 2 pints cottage cheese and 2 sour creams for a buck each.

I still have more than ten dollars' worth of food stamps left!

The London broil is still on the barbeque, as are 5 baking potatoes.

In addition to the dry rub, I put two strips of bacon on the broil. I got 2 pkgs of bacon for just over a dollar each! One of those is in the freezer, too.

Guess I don't have to worry about fish this month, huh?

The cats are in the yard, chewing on crawdad heads....

What a lunch!

Now, I'm getting ready for the Mothers' Day March For Peace, in downtown Albuquerque.

I'll look great on my scooter in my flowered, summer dress!

So, I'd better get off this little black box and get out there!

Peace!

I'm up

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Been up for over an hour. Osa's plurting to her kittens. There's a fresh pot of coffee waiting for me to finish drinking the old stuff.

I have a kitchen to clean. Today is Food Stamps day!

I just heard a funny song about the discussion of whether or not Pluto is a planet. I don't know by whom.

Now, the new agers are blaming the victim: we get sick because we "attract" sickness to us.

Bull crap!

The able bodied are so smug and self righteous!

Gotta turn off the radio. This new age crap pisses me off.

Yeah, and people are only poor because they have bad karma, right?

Go soak your priviledged, arrogant, abusive heads!

Rogi pushes power button on radio.

Well, the fridge isn't going to clean itself; I'd better get started....

some days...

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

...you might as well not even unpack.

Today, I just went round in circles. Nobody had info I needed to write my stories...sigh.

And I'm sad. Too close to Mothers' Day.

I was scared to come home, afraid of finding dead kittens.

But, Osa and her kids are just fine. She seems to have had two long haired kits: one black and one WHITE! Surprise! Where'd THAT come from??? Maybe it'll be Siamese-like, like her mom is. Who knows?

I'm fiercely tired and drained. It was a tough day. Truly.

So, I packed it in. I'll research over the weekend and start again on Monday.

There are some truly nice people at KUNM and it does my heart good.

But I was fighting beurocratic blah blah and internet confusion all day...eek!

I'm hungry. Nothing's cooked.

Food stamps come tomorrow. I'm just hanging on, waiting to eat. I'll snack, but it won't be satisfying, nor enough. I accidentally left the last of my little, frozen steaks in the freezer at KUNM today. oops!

There's ham, but I don't feel like fat and salt. I'd KILL for a home made style burger with horseradish and mushrooms...gawd!

Sunday's more food, too.

Anybody want to pick me up and take me to dinner?

pays to advertise, I guess...

is it morning, already?

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

My legs! They're like dead wood, except they burn and tingle a lot.

I got up late: five thirty. I'm struggling to be conscious enough to shower and dress.

I want to get back to the station asap.

You're not going to believe this: little Osa had 2 kittens last night. No, I didn't know she was pregnant; she's a puffy, fluffy cat. She had one in the bottom of their baby crib. She had the other in the same dresser drawer where she was born.

I moved the one in the crib. It was cold, but screaming its head off. She ate the placenta, cleaned the kitten. It's not screaming any more; it found a titty and is plugged in tight.

Porkchop's scared to come in here. The dresser's at the foot of the bed, where he sleeps. He's sniffing politely.

But he's scared Osa will attack him, like her mother did when she was born.

Miss Thing would jump on Porky's head, all twenty claws in his face, and ride him around the house!

So, Porky has learned to be VERRRRY polite around kittens!

They seem to be healthy. But I'm not bothering them today. She didn't even try to nurse or clean her first litter. They were deformed and she left them to die. She wouldn't even sleep in the drawer with them.

But she's in the drawer now, purring her head off, and letting them nurse.

So, this seems like a healthier litter. It's so dark down there, I can barely make out kittens, at all.

I'll check on them later today.

Tomorrow, I get my food stamps. Good thing, too: I'm running out of meat. I got JUST enough last month, with a slight surplus.

My arms are sore, from holding me up on the scooter.

Looks like the Bush Admin. is collapsing in on itself. That's good, in a way, because MAYBE we can get the bums out in November.

But it's also bad. We're the "super" power. When we're unstable, the planet is unstable. I'm seriously concerned for the safety of the planet.

I watched some of the "Friends" final episode last night.

Damn, that was poorly written! I think they're closing the show MORE than in time! They obviously had nothing left! Even with twins and the angst of ross and rachel, it was tedious, sappy and manipulative.

I'm sure it got great ratings, but a public execution would get ratings, too. People can be ghouls.

I certainly wasn't impressed. There wasn't even a "best part." If it hadn't been the last show of an older sit com, it wouldn't have been aired. It was a hodgepodge of too much crap, squeezed into too little time. And the ending! Jees! The writers just ran out of stuff! LOL

It wasn't bad, for a rough draft, though. puke.

Well, I'd better get my butt in gear, shower, dress, gas up the scooter and get out of here...

I'll see you later!

email to a dude

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Dude,

I'm not playing games. I'm not being manipulative.

I really don't know I'm any good. I suspect I could be. But I'm always terrified I'll fail and blow this chance. And it truly feels like my last chance. If I can't make it at KUNM, I fear, I might as well pack it in and resign myself to dying a bag lady.

I've been so traumatized, I can't trust my own judgment. And I'm always looking out for potential problems. I have eyes in the back of my head.

It's always something seemingly small and insignificant that gets turned into some HUGE reason why I can't make it. So, I'm always vigilant.

That's why the fax machine, the mail cubbies and Windows scare me: they could be how I screw up so bad, I can't make it.

Or it could be my memory. I almost put an audio file in the wrong folder, even though I'd asked R twice already which one to put it in. There's something dyslexic going on with me, and I kept getting confused between "stories" and "ready for air." The third time I asked, R got exasperated, and I don't blame her. But as of this very moment, I can't tell you which of those folders I was supposed to put it in!

If you ever want to hear about any of this, fine. But I'm not fishing for compliments.

I'm really scared. And I'm really overwhelmed at things other people take for granted.

This isn't about guilt, either. So, I'm not about being "absolved," or forgiven or anything.

I'm not ashamed of myself for trying to dig out of the miserable hole I've been in. I'm proud of my own courage and tenacity.

But I feel so frustrated by how much I don't know, how confused I get, how little I understand even basic office procedure, etc.

I do need to talk to people about this. I've struggled, all alone, through traumas that have killed other people. I've carried weight I can't bear. I can't possibly flourish at KUNM if I can't check in with people, voice my frustrations and concerns, etc. The burden would just be too heavy.

I don't know if I can ever catch up to where "normal" people...whatever that means...are.

You have no idea how many times I've almost walked out and given up. It happened yesterday.

I'm so weak, so tired, so overwhelmed, in so much pain and so confused, I just can't cope sometimes.

I was so mad at M yesterday, had we been in the 'hood and not at KUNM, I swear I'd have hauled off and smacked him. And I couldn't get out of the building fast enough.

If D hadn't promised me a ride home, and if I'd had any physical strength left, I truly think I would have walked home and never come back.

I went outside, had a cigarette, and "told" M (he wasn't there, of course), out loud, what I thought of him AND his mother. I rehearsed everything, out loud, over and over until I vented all the rage and could walk in, look him dead in the eye and say, "don't ever speak to me like that again!"

And he apologized. In fact, he was STILL apologizing this morning! LOL...

But it took a real, physical toll on me to get there. The stress of fear and anger, the embarrassment, the bottled up and unexpressed rage I'd felt....and I dealt with that exhaustion until I fell asleep last night.

KUNM is the first place, in twenty years, where I get to be who I am. And it's the first place where, although it's still shaky ground, I get to expect some respect, to feel like an equal among peers.

I don't know how to trust anybody any more. I don't even know how to trust my own judgment any more.

So, I'm not living on the same planet with the rest of you who expect the ground to be solid under your feet as you walk. That's literal, as well as figurative.

I fall a LOT, literally. I stumble, I stagger and I limp. Every day.

This is hard work, Dude. I'm not bitching, honest, I'm just saying. It's so hard, I sometimes have to put everything else aside, just to make it through a commitment, like a story. Every ounce of energy I can summon goes into trying to flourish in radio.

I have to neglect house chores, errands....

But this is my way out. I don't know any other way; writing, talking, teaching are the things I'm good at. I can't scrub floors, flip burgers and wipe people's bums any more. I physically, emotionally can not do it any more.

I have no person to love, or who loves me. I put my need to love into service to my community. As the mother of a dead child, I put my need to nurture into my community. I really can't think of a better choice of community than community broadcasting.

But this is a radical paradigm shift for me and I'm so disoriented.

If you think I'm whining or playing games or eliciting pity or compliments, please try to hear I'm just begging for someone to actually hear me.

Sometimes, a person needs to hear others believe in her, before she can believe in herself.

I am learning.

Please be patient.

Rogi

moan

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I don't know; sometimes I just feel so slow and clumsy. But I'm getting it.

I just figured out why my legs are so tired: I walked around campus to interview a school board member today. I WONDERED why my legs hurt so bad tonight! Duh!

I'm hungry and nothing's cooked. shoot.

I'll fry some eggs and have some bread later.

Renee can't hire me as an editorial assistant; turns out it WOULD come out of her department budget. Dang!

But she might be able to hire me as a "stringer" reporter, and she realy needs one over summer. But the resume requirements the University has are hard; it took Renee a MONTH to put hers together the way they wanted!

So, I have to go to staff services and to Linda for help.

They're going to want to know how many HOURS I worked, TWENTY YEARS AGO!!! CRAP!

It's so discouraging, but I'll figure it out somehow.

A listener called the newsroom today, looking for info on a prior show. I figured it out and brought back the info to the phone. The listener said, "I really enjoy listening to you." I thought she meant KUNM. But she meant ME! ME! LOL lil ol me?

THere's more, but I'm so tired, and I'm watching 2 tv shows at the same time! LOL I HATE May sweeps! Nothing on for weeks, months at a time, and suddenly, BOOM! Interesting stuff all over the dial! gees...

and NOW, it looks like Colonial House is on...no, that's Globe Trotter...

I'm tired...

ugh

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Life is so weird.

I dawdled in bed this morning, not wanting to get up. I'm usually up by five, five thirty. At five thirty, I wasn't even ready to get out of bed. Tried to go back to sleep, but I know I won't. Once I'm up, I'm up.

Then, I told the attending cats & dog, "well, at least poor Bob Edwards didn't have to get up at 1am this week." I fumbled for the radio, punched the "on" button and....

....heard Bob Edwards!

NPR, stop messing with my HEAD! ESPECIALLY at five thirty, when I haven't had any coffee yet!

He was on "the other side" of the mic this morning, though. He was being interviewed about his book on Murrow.

Well, the FIRST syllable I heard in that familiar, morning purr filled my heart with happiness: Life was back to normal; Bob was back.

When I realized he was just an interview subject, my heart cramped back into that too-small space it's been occupying.

Bill Moyers is still retiring after the November elections. Bob is still gone. Air heads and bimbos still populate too many news rooms. And corporate interests keep turning everything into Infotainment and Infomercials.

Squeeeeeeeze.

I sighed, pushed a cat out of the way, shuffled to the kitchen and warmed up my giant Winnie The Pooh mug that holds two cups of tired, stale coffee from 2 days ago.

They ended the Edwards/Murrow piece with a quote from Murrow's famous "outing" of the corruption of the McCarthy mess: arguably the speech that put an end to the witch hunts: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves."

I put my coffee beside the bed in its customary shelf, crawled back onto the bed, fluffed a pillow, lit a cigarette and fired up the WebTV.

I'm not Bob Edwards, Bill Moyers, Edward Murrow. I'm just one little, gimpy, poor woman, with bad teeth, a toy scooter and a toy internet appliance (you should have SEEN the equipment the infotainers brought to that meeting last night! to produce superficial reports on a heart wrenching subject!).

It does my heart good, though, to learn from Edwards that Murrow faked his resume. He never went to a university. Of course, that was another time, before thorough background check, in the infancy of broadcast media, when nobody really knew how to do it nor what they were doing.

Still, if they let a guy like Murrow slip into their midst, I might stand a chance.....

what a meeting!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Now, we're talking a public school board meeting. Sounds pretty dreary, huh?

And a budget meeting? Doesn't that sound boring?

I was moved nearly to tears on several occasions.

What's happening to APS is a tragedy. And it's happening all over the state. It's happening all over the country!

I know whom to contact now.

This is a hell of a story!

I'm not saying too much in here. For one thing, it's best I not publish my opinions on this, since I'm reporting it. For another thing, I know for a FACT that at least one reporter in Albuquerque is reading this blog! LOL! And she CAN scoop me! Hi, AH, how you doin' girl?

So, I'll keep my lips zipped for now.

But I will tell you a funny.

As you know, I killed myself for half a day, working on that friggin' scooter.

Well, I put on my black cordeuroy sp dress with red apples all over it...it's a school board meeting, y'know? I carefully and slowly drove my scooter there. I came around the corner of the building and saw all 3 tv network affilliate's vans & SUVs, parked in front, satellite dishes erect.

And here I come, on that silly scooter with KUNM bumperstickers on each side of Porkchop's dog carrier! LOLOL WITH my headphones on, don't cha know, cuz I was listening to the KUNM evening news!

I just LAUGHED AND LAUGHED! I drove RIGHT through the reporters, who froze, like deer in headlights, drove to the bicycle rack and parked my lil' hummer.

They just STARED!

I giggled the whole way in, as I fumbled with mic and headphone cords and set up my mini disc and reporter's notebook.

They figured out I was a reporter, right away, and stayed pretty far away from me. Except for one print journalist, who sat in the 2nd row, behind me in the 1st row, no reporters would come near me.

It was a very special and frightening meeting. It was seriously moving.

I'm glad I went. I just hope I worked the minidisc right!

scooter's up

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Man, I don't know HOW to rest!

I repaired all 3 innertubes today...I hope.

I put one on. Seems to be ok.

I also took the molded, plastic body off the trailer. It must weigh over 10 lbs, and isn't necessary weight. Porky's dog carrier fits just fine, on the frame. I can still carry as many groceries as necessary.

I need better hardware to attach the trailer to the scooter, though; this coat hanger/bungie thing is scary.

So, I'm exhausted...again. Spent most of the morning out there. And it's hot. bleh.

Soon, I'll need to shower.

The meeting starts in 2 1/2 hours. I'm leaving pretty early, so I can find this building.

I wish my legs didn't hurt so dang much! ugh.

But my scooter's up! Thanks to Tom Trowbridge!

to FAIR.org

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I really appreciate you.

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I'm impressed with your commitment, dedication, hard work, ethics and research.

I post your media action alerts in http://dailyrogi.blogspot.com every time I get them.

I love Counter Spin.

And, as soon as I earn some money, I'll contribute.

I'm now a freelance, volunteer reporter for KUNMfm http://kunm.org and JUST sold my first piece to Free Speech Radion Network.

You are part of the reason why I decided to recommit myself to journalism.

I figure, if you want something done right, do it yourself. So, I'm doing news now.

You make it an honor to be part of an endangered profession.

Best wishes,

Rogi Riverstone
http://rriverstone.com

email to Tom

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Tom,

I repaired THREE innertubes today, including one that had a 1' long worn place on it.

That's forty five dollars' worth of innertubes! They're fifteen bucks, each!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I'm not going to inflate any for a few hours, to give them time to "heal."

I've got them weighted down with dry flower pots, on my "patio" table, right now.

Gawd, bro, you saved me a fortune, and those painful walks to the station!

High Five!
Rogi

email to Stu

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Ok, meet me at KUNM on Thurs. I'll be there from 9-5, just like regular people.
Tom Trowbridge gave me his tire patch kit, and I've repaired THREE innertubes today! YAY!!!
But I'm taking a ride tomorrow with a guy at the station. He has a truck, if you WANT to bring some mater plants, too.
Besides, a bunch of us in Onate Hall want to grow stuff on the patio!
I use them welded cages, plus some horse fencing, tyed in a cylander...sp.
I tie yarn to individual branches, to hold them up, loosely, too.
I pinch off my branches, so they don't get too "leggy," and sprout even more branches off their sides. More branches, more blossoms, more tomatoes!
I could CERTAINLY use compost or mulch! And I could CERTAINLY use some help! I'm starting a new bed, and it's a bytch!
The cats help, but they don't have opposable thumbs, which is their standard excuse.
So, lemme know if/when u wanna come over.
And THANKS!

"fair and balanced"

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

From my newsgroup:

I have opinions on every story I'm researching. I had opinions on the five-day story I did on the extension of Paseo del Norte Boulevard, through Petroglyphs National Monument.

I let the people whom I interviewed on the subject know when I sympathized with their positions. All sides.

That's the purpose of journalism: to help the listener/reader/viewer begin to identify, in some relevent way, with the issues.

Notice the operative word here: "relevent." I abhor editorializing, based on the Cult of Personality ("like her, cuz she's got big boobs, like him, cuz he's got a wad of cash"). I hate "infotainment."

By the time I finished interviewing: the Governor's PR man, the State Senator who has fought for the road extension for twenty years, the Archaeological Association who vehemently opposes disturbing ancient artifacts, and the Native Americans who've opposed the extension for twenty years, I could see all sides, and relate to them.

Hopefully, my listeners picked up some of that. This story is nearly a civil war. It has polarized people along racial, party, socioeconomic and other lines. And everybody's angry, resentful and feeling persecuted by the "other side."

I found a common thread in this story: except for the PR man, who's too politically savvy to express a position on it, EVERYBODY is mad at the City Council for apparant incompetence. And everybody is tired of fighting.

I don't think other news outlets have reported that. I did. Actually, I allowed all sides to voice it themselves, in sound bites.

Unless people are hard-core, into their particular agendas, nobody who heard that report could say they didn't learn something about the players in this struggle.

Yes, I'm fair. In fact, I DEMAND that my interviews address key points, so I'll have audio from all sides, on these points. Whatever else they say may or may not be relevent to my report, but I require them to address the issues.

And, yes, I'm balanced. Now, if you break down the sound files from each of the parties in my Paseo story, you'll find one person's files run longer than others. She doesn't really say more than anybody else. But she's a Native American woman. Everybody else was white and specifically educated in how to speak to the public. This woman never had that advantage. She speaks quite well. She just speaks slowly and thoughtfully. She isn't trying to cram her words together quickly; she's thinking, as she speaks, rehearsing it before it comes out of her mouth.

So, to accomodate the fact that she presents her information more slowly, she got more time than others.

But nobody who heard the piece could accuse me of bias because of that.

If I were interviewing a person with a speech impediment, a learning disability, a language difficulty, etc., I would also allow that person more time to express him/herself. It's called, "reasonable accomodation."

This woman is not impaired; there's simply a cultural difference.

After five days, my listeners understood: the four conditions the Governor has placed, before he'll approve the extension of Paseo. They understood how opponents and advocates of the extension thought about their positions. They knew this has been a long discussion, and won't be resolved soon.

So, fair and balanced are what I do.

But I also have opinions.

I won't, however, be showing up to a protest with a banner. I may show up with a recorder, though.

It's not my place, as a reporter, to publicly advocate a position on a story I'm working on.

I have my commentaries for my opinions. And I don't write commentaries on news stories I am...or have been...reporting. I also don't write news stories on subjects of my commentaries.

man, I'm beat!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Leslie never showed up this morning.

So, at nine thirty, I repacked my stuff in my little stroller, changed into my walking shoes, and headed for the station.

Got three duck eggs, on the way.

I packed a TON of food, so I can work all week without starving.

I brought a loaf of that bread, hummus, "cottage tofu," peanut butter and my home made chutney. I put up a hand lettered sign: free food by Food Not Bombs & Rogi. It got eaten! I'll bring more bread on Thurs.

Poor Danny, Rachel's Operations assistant, ran all over the station today, dismantling shelving and mail cubbies, and moving furniture. He even moved the copy machine, a refrigerator and the water bottle! He's been running all day, prepping our floor for The Big Remodelling, scheduled for 2 weeks from now. He gave me a ride home tonight, and will bring me back to KUNM on Thurs.

Tomorrow, I'll just research stuff here, and maybe make a few phone calls.

Da grrlz on da 1st floor are going to help me find some teachers to interview about No Child LEft Behind.

I pretty much had the newsroom to myself today, which was a blessing. I'm sloooowly learning Windows.

Renee had me edit a commentary; I removed a sentence in present tense; the event had passed. It aired tonight. Not one of mine, by the way.

I got recording equipment to take up the street to TVI tomorrow. There's a public meeting on the Albq. Public Schools' budget problems. I want to record some sound, for my piece.

And I got Stuart's minidisc of John Kerry's visit to an elementary school here today; he spoke on NCLB. I may steal some sound for my piece.

I'm so tired. I hurt so bad.

I get scared, cuz my memory's so bad, I'm not good on the equipment yet, I don't know Windows that well and I'm SO self conscious about the impression people get of me.

I'm always scared they think I'm an air head.

And people get impatient, down to the wire, or when there's a crisis, etc. And I take it too personally.

I got snapped at today by someone whom I respect very much, and who I think rather respects me. We have very interesting conversations. I was just delivering a message from someone else whom I consider a supervisor. But the person who snapped did apologize, when I snapped back by quoting the snap. And I explained I embarrass easily. The person snapped in front of others, whom I don't want to disrespect me.

And then, during the news, Renee said the nicest thing. She said, I was just sitting here, thinking about you and thought I'd tell you what I was thinking. You have a good ear for news stories. You know what's news. Some people who come in here have no idea. But you, you know what's really a story, and how to get there.

I damn near burst into tears.

So, even though my legs are THROBBING MISERABLY, all the way from toes to hips, even though I have stabbing pain between my shoulders, my ribs hurt, my back aches and I have a fever, I feel pretty good.

Renee can't hire me as a reporter, because I don't have a Bachelors Degree; UNM requires that. But I did tell her Linda found a job description--not a POSTING, mind you--for a part time, on call editorial assistant position. If anyone can create a position for me, it's Renee and Linda.

She asked me to print a hard copy of the job description.

I presented the idea this way, Renee, I'm not begging and I'm not even asking; I'm just giving you this information. There's a job for which I am qualified; Linda found it.

So, I've done what I can.

It's hard, buddy. It's really hard, showing up tired from a long walk, to mass confusion and scant supervision or advice.

ANd soon, there will be construction workers, noise and mess all day every day, for six months. And, because it's summer, we won't have the college work study students to help.

So, it's going to be even harder.

But it's the best hard work I can imagine.

I guess my thirty years of listening to community radio, part time writing and part time volunteer work are starting to pay off. That's why I've got a good ear, you know; I've been listening, this whole time.

So, my animals are very glad to see me. The air conditioner is kicking in. I'm in my underwear. I'm hungry and I can barely walk.

The blogs might, or might not, get posted tonight.

But I've got a mini disc of John Kerry; I've got a file full of print outs; I've got an inbox full of URLs I emailed myself today, so I can read online, which is easier for me than reading print; I've got an outline of my first story. I've got a recorder to take to tomorrow night's meeting.

I've done everything I can today.

Hell, I even watered my garden this morning!

Man, I'm beat.....

Chutney

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I'm making chutney.

No, I don't know HOW to make chutney; I'm just DOING it! LOL

3 over-ripe mangos
1 papaya
1 pear
2 peaches
Juice from 1 naval orange
1/2 c dried fruit and nuts
1 tbsp. chili pepper flakes
1/4 c dark brown sugar
3 tbsp. honey
1/4 c water
1 peppermint tea bag contents, sprinkled in.

I put everything in a pot together, brought to boil, reduced to simmer.

It's cooking, uncovered, on the stove, over a pot protector, to keep it from scorching.

I scraped the mango out of its skins and off its stones. But I threw the stones in the pot, too, so the remaining flesh can cook.

I made something like it yesterday for Food Not Bombs, but it was a caramel sauce for puddings we made. It had more sugar/water to fruit (mangos and dried apricots).

The longer it cooks, the gooier it gets, but add water if it gets too thick. You want a jam-like consistancy to the chutney.

I put the peach skin in, too, for the pectin to thicken everything. I'll remove that, and the mango stones, before serving.

It's a global worm!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Hackers bite! I pulled this off the msntv website:

New worm spreading rapidly worldwide

'Sasser' strikes at known flaw in Windows

HELSINKI - The fast-spreading "Sasser" computer worm has infected hundreds of thousands of PCs globally and the number could soon rise sharply, a top computer security official said on Monday.

"If you take a normal Windows PC and connect to the Internet, you will be infected in 10 minutes (without protection)," Mikko Hypponen, Anti-Virus Research Director at Finnish data security firm F-Secure, told Reuters.

"It seems to be gradually getting worse, but it could jump as the U.S. wakes up," he said.
F-Secure says the worm, which surfaced at the weekend, automatically spreads via the Internet to computers using the Microsoft Windows operating system, especially Windows 2000 and XP. (MSNBC is a Microsoft-NBC joint venture.)

The spread of the virus had been muted so far, Hypponen said, as it emerged on a weekend, and holidays closed offices in places like the United Kingdom and Japan on Monday.
But the spread was expected to worsen as the working week hits its stride.

"We have already seen three versions of Sasser during the weekend, and we could see more today," Hypponen said, adding he believes the worm originated in Russia.

Finnish bancassurer Sampo temporarily closed all of its branch offices, some 130 in all, on Monday as a precaution against Sasser.

In Australia, Westpac Bank said it was hit by the worm, and branches had to use pen and paper to allow them to keep trading, The Australian newspaper reported.

U.S. firm Delta Air Lines suffered a computer glitch on Saturday that caused delays and cancelations of certain flights across its system, but a spokesman said there was no information yet as to the cause.

"With Sasser it seems that companies are (using software) patches better and more quickly than last year (with virus "Blaster"), but for those that are hit, they are hit hard," Hypponen said.
Blaster infected computers around the globe last year.

No need to click

The current worm does not need to be activated by double-clicking on an attachment, and can strike even if no one is using the PC at the time. When a machine is infected, error messages may appear and the computer may reboot repeatedly.
"Compared to what happened with Blaster ... last August ... this virus has all the same features," Hypponen said, noting that both worms exploited relatively new holes in Windows and frequently caused computers to reboot.

Microsoft said Blaster cost it "millions of dollars of damages," and has issued a $250,000 bounty for information on the whereabouts of its author.

F-Secure said corporate networks should be protected against Sasser and its variants by firewalls - Internet road blocks that separate internal from public networks.

F-Secure said the worm emerged 18 days after Microsoft posted a corrective-code software patch on its Web site. This continues a common pattern with viruses whereby firms announce flaws in their software and hackers race to exploit them.

For home computer users, people should make sure they have downloaded the patch from Microsoft to fix the breach. If their computer is infected, must first be downloaded before the virus is removed or else the PC could catch the worm again.

Hypponen said he was not sure there was a better way for firms to alert users to software problems.

"There are always going to be security holes in mainstream products," he said. "Even if these are not made public, the bad boys will find out about them anyway."

Copyright 2004�Reuters Limited.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/ Look under: "Science & Technology."

aw, dang it!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Well, I walked to KUNM this morning. Got fifteen duck eggs on the way.

The entire News Department, the volunteer room computer, and, apparantly, the Music Dept. computers all had a virus. Poor Tom Trowbridge was running around...which isn't unusual, but this was a mess...from computer to computer, trying to do his job.

The computers will let you work for a few minutes, then a pop up warns you'd better save your work, because it's counting down to a shut down.

David's the resident Geek. He arrived to a door plastered in frantic post-its, and orphaned staff, wandering the halls, wondering what to do.

So, I washed all the dirty dishes, cleaned the mouse on the volunteers' computer, read hard copies of research material, made breakfast and generally straightened up stuff.

David ran antivirus stuff. It was still "cooking" when Stuart, a reporter, and I got totally disgusted and decided to leave. She gave me a ride home.

Fortunately, I met Leslie, another reporter, by the elevator. She lives a few blocks from me and will give me a ride in tomorrow.

I'm pretty disgusted.

So, I'll do whatever research I can here, at home today. And there's plenty of cleaning and food prep to do today.

I'm in bad pain. My legs are hurting, of course.

But I have this torso thing going on: both my lower and upper back and my belly. And a weird pain around my ribs.

Maybe it's from pushing my little stroller, all the way to the station.

I took my bread and cheese dip thing in to the grrlz on the 1st floor. They're happy. One forgot to bring lunch today, so this works out well.

Everybody except 1 of the grrls and Leslie pretended I wasn't wearing makeup. Or that I dyed my hair.

I hope it's not because I really look ridiculous, or something. I think it's general distraction; people are focused on their own things.

I'm resting, watching Martha Stewart, and cuddling Osa, who's glad I'm back.

When my legs and torso stop hurting so bad, I'll do a few chores.

Nothing major today, though; I'm just tuckered out.

I may nap; I'm so tired...moan.

Mornin'

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

It's almost 5am. Morning Edition will be on in a minute. But Bob Edwards won't. Dang, I'm dreading this.

Every time I hear the NPR music in the mornings now, I'll be a little resentful, no matter how much time passes. Because Bob is gone.

Did you know Albuquerque is the most-armed city in the world? We've got 2,000 nuclear weapons, right here! At least, that's what the overnight DJ just said.

I've heard it said that, if New Mexico seceded from the Union, we'd be the 3rd largest nuclear power in the world.

Jees, I keep moving to places that kill. Monterey had Fort Ord and a BUNCH of officer and spy training stuff. Louisville had Fort Knox and stuff down the road. ANd now here..

Renee Montain and some guy are cohosting Morning Edition. It's still written the same. But it ain't the same without Bob.

Well, if you can be sent to pasture when you're only 56 and you BUILT Morning Edition, none of us is safe...

I MISS BOB EDWARDS!

...whimper.

FOOD!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

DOZENS of loaves of home made style breads. I'm taking some to KUNM

Artichokes, mangos, pineapples, fresh chives, tomatoes, pears, bananas, a bear claw, 3 kinds of dry cheeses like Parmasan, tofu spread (tastes like egg salad), salsa, cocktail sauce, spaghetti sauce, bananas...

I've got a loaf of raisin bread I'll hollow out and fill with fruit and cheese for the girls on the 1st floor. And I'll take a huge loaf of sour dough, hollow it out, fill it with dip made of cheese, sour cream, chives and the tofu stuff.

I'm so sore, I can hardly walk. But I have plenty of food that I just need to grab and go to KUNM with. DOn't need to cook or worry.

And, by the time my food stamps come, I'll still have plenty to eat, so I can save them up for really good stuff.

We fed about two or three dozen people today.

Happy Sunday!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

I'm looking at Martha Stewart's garden and just drooling. Beautiful, weed-free, raised beds with rich soil.

I'm gardening in a cat litter box, full of weeds. Sigh.

I've been feeling bad because my garden isn't done. The temperature, in parts of Albuquerque, got down to freezing last night.

So, I'm pretending I was smart by not planting earlier, or my seedlings would have frozen.

Yeah, right.

:)

I'll limp along with the garden I've got, for another year.

Maybe I'll have access to a roto tiller next year. I can't dig this much dirt by hand anymore.

And, maybe, next year I can devote my plantings to heirloom, indigenous and other rare seeds.

I buy seed packs at the end of the previous year, on sale. I rarely pay more than five cents per pack.

But these are hobbiest seeds, produced for convenience, quick growth, etc. They're pretty generic. And who knows what they do to them before they're in the pack.

Since agribusiness, our seed varieties are in grave jeopardy. We just don't have the genetic diversity, even within species, that plants need to survive.

I'd like to plant tomatoes Thomas Jefferson grew. I'd like to plant squash the Natives grew.

By preserving these breeds, we're preserving the genes and keeping our food supplies stronger.

Besides, some of these breeds are so interesting! And their flavors are good.

Maybe I can both work on my stories this week, and get in a bit of gardening. But that long walk, to and from the station, is painful.

I'll try, though...

I do know I want to do some laundry, Mon-Wed, while Crazy Raoul has to work and can't bother me. He was outside my kitchen window, raving and screaming like a wounded bear, yesterday. I'm squeezed between him and a low-bottom drunk. And he's made friends with the drunk. Dammit. Sigh.

And the drunk is leaving beer cans and cigarette butts in front of my apartment. Lovely.

This is the main reason I don't invite too many people to my house. It's embarrassing! And the racial epithets, etc., are just evil.

Someday, I'll have a peaceful, quiet place to live.

I'm a red head!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Wow! I don't know what anbody else would think or say, but I think it looks lovely! It's a dark red/chestnut color. And the grey in my hair gave it the prettiest, twinkliest light-read highlights!

I forgot: when I dye my hair, it gets kinkier! Which means it's really fun to sculpt into curls and waves.

I also put on some sunless tanning lotion, so the scars on my legs won't show so much. I put it all over me, even my face.

My face is funny: it's got very pale skin, around my eyelids, top and bottom. It's got dark skin, including Negroid splotches, on my cheeks, and is ruddy red on nose, chin and forehead.

So, now, I'm all one color, even though I'm genetically three.

The tanning stuff blends the dark patches into my cheeks better and reds them up a bit, to match nose, chin and forehead (and I have a HUGE forehead!).

The tanning stuff minimizes the wrinkling around my eyes, masks the dark circles, and tones down the pale skin.

All I need is some eye brow pencil, used as eyeliner, and I'm made up! Oh, and some staining lip pencil. I smoke; lipstick doesn't last, and it smears. But lip pencils stay on, and in place.

I'm all brown and red and shiny and curly!

I don't even look as fat! LOL Cuz I'm all one color!

With some ear rings and some bright-colored clothes, I'm going to look GREAT!

I look like I'm in my 40s again, instead of my 50s!

I'm a fox! Plump, yes, but quite nice.

Now, for a pedicure!

great morning!

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Well, I had a "false" start, on my way to the Pueblo Center for cigs.

A block down the street, I found a bunch of move-out stuff, in a dumpster.

So, I staggered back up the steep hill, grabbed my dolly with a trash barrel on it, and went back.

I got some house plants and some pots and some plant food. I got a "brass" plant stand. I got a tv table on wheels. I got some nice pictures, like a large close-up photo of a pink tulip. I found a wok I'm going to take to Food Not Bombs, which even had a lid and a ring stand.

And, best of all, I got an HUMIDIFIER!!! Yippeeeeeee! It's a cool one, no heat. I've got it on the steamer trunk, next to my bed. I can feel it, already. How refreshing! Should be good for all th sneezy cats, too. We all get nasty eye boogers in this dry climate. It feels so fresh in here! And it's perfectly quiet.

On the way to get cigs, I found some thrown-out clothes, too. Got me some shorts. Found a pair of magenta stretch pants, with fabric paint designs up the legs. Found a white tee shirt, with fabric painted feathers and jeweled studs. Found a black sweater with beading that's just too cute. Found another white tee shirt with block prints of masks all over it. Found a fake fur, cheetah purse that's just TOO FUNNY! I even found a brand new pair of underwear. I think they might have bought the wrong size, or Mom bought them plain white cotton, and they didn't like them. I don't care!

I met a FABULOUS woman at Walgreens today! I got me some hair dye on sale for three fifty! I'm going to be a red head later today! LOL I save 1/2 of each bottle of stuff, before I mix them. That way, I get two month's worth. Never try to save mixed dye; the chemical reactions cause it to go bad quickly. It could burn your hair off!

Anyway, about this woman. Her name is Jennette. She's an excon, on probation for bank robbery. She works at a sandwich shop.

She robbed the bank because she's scizophrenic and the voices have nagged her all her life. She thought, if I rob the bank like they're telling me to, I can turn myself in. That way, the voices would leave her alone for awhile. And she assumed she'd be in prison for about twenty years, by which time she'd be dead, anyway. That way, her room and board would be someone else's problem. And so would the voices!

She's a GREAT interview! I've just about convinced her to let me interview her for my report on homeless women. She lives in a hotel, not too far from where I live.

I really like her. She's tough and funny and smart. She cracked me up! Great attitude.

So, really had fun today. And I have new, gawdy clothes that twinkle. And I'll be a red head soon.

I already trimmed my hair yesterday.

Then, I'll start working on my poor, abused, dried out hands and nails. And my feeties.

I'm watching the cooking shows on PBS. Julia Child just had a chef make red snapper in the BEST sounding sauce! Ginger, mango and mint leaves, sauteed in butter, with a splash of rum. Doesn't that sound WONDERFUL?

ANd now, the Mexican Cooking guy is in Alcopulco, doing stuff with shrimp and papaya and stuff....oh, gawd!

I get inspired by these shows. It's why I'm a good cook: I just steal every body else's ideas! heee hee!

OOO! I still have more than half a lamb sandwich! And beans!

Ok: he's got crema, tomatoes, shrimp, onions, cilantro, thyme... I think he's making a shrimp sala...or salad, or something. Oh, and chipoltle chilis! OOOO he's adding squash blossoms!mmmmmmmmm....

e's making "chalupas." They're little boats, made of tortilla flour..corn, of course.

Put the shrimp salad in them and sprinkle with crumbled goat cheese.

Oh, gawd!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'd better eat soon! LOL

What a WONDERFUL morning.

OH! I forgot! On my way down the street, I saw a hawk catch a sparrow in a tree! I've seen him in the trees, around my garden. I wasn't sure if I was really seeing a hawk, or just a crow or raven. But I THOUGHT he was a hawk. He sure is!

AND! While waiting for the bus across the street from the Pueblo center, I heard a rustling sound, very quiet, in the trash and saplings in the empty lot.

IT WAS A ROADRUNNER! And he caught a lizard!

WHAT a DAY!

some punishments of poverty

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

First, there's revision of a state law. Insurance companies now notify the state's dept. of motor vehicles, if a car is no longer insured. The state notifies the owner. If the car is driven without insurance, or if the owner doesn't snap to and get insurance promptly enough, the car is kidnapped by the police. The owner must pay steep fines for this. If the owner can't pay, the state sells the car.

This benefits the insurance companies' lobby and the state treasury.

Car insurance in affluent, predomenantly-white areas of the state costs $140 per year. Car insurance in low-income areas of town, particularly the War Zone of Albuquerque, costs $350 per year. The residents there are predominantly working class people of color.
-------------
I can't work at KUNM as a reporter. It doesn't matter that I have decades of experience and education. I don't have a Bachelors Degree, nor can I afford to acquire one. The best I can do is a job as an Editorial Assistant. This is a part time position, with no benefits, on an as-needed basis.
---------------
My bank. I have been getting Direct Deposit Advances on my Social Security Disability check.

The fees were, originally, one dollar for every $20 borrowed. I borrowed five hundred dollars from next month's check, a year ago, so I could move out of the War Zone and try to improve my life.

The fees were about twenty five dollars per month.

A few months ago, the fee was increased to $1.50 per twenty borrowed. That's about thirty seven dollars per month.

Last month, in mid month, the fees and policies changed.

I've been paying down the amount, every other month. I'd gotten down to $460. For the Broadcasters' convention, I decided to advance myself an extra twenty, in case I needed emergency money at the conference. I couldn't do it.

They'd changed the amount. I could no longer advance myself $500 maximum. I could only advance myself half my total deposit: $300.

No warning, no notice. And the fee has increased to $2 per twenty dollars.

I had advanced myself $440 early in the month. The fee for that money, thank heavens, is the old rate. Two weeks later, I advanced myself another twenty; the rate was the increased rate!

So, I have to budget this month without the potential additional amount of 160-200 dollars!

If I hadn't accidentally stumbled onto Melissa, the news director of Pacifica's Free Speech Radio Network, who gave me an eighty dollar job last month (a day before I knew about any of these changes), I would not have had enough money to pay my rent and internet bills!

And I live in a slum. If I'd been late with the rent, I would have received a three day notice. If I hadn't paid the full rent, plus a fifty dollar late fee, within three days, my landlord would have taken me to court, and I would have been homeless within about two weeks.

I'm glad to say my little eighty dollar check put me just over the line. I have $464 in the bank at this moment.

My rent is $425; my WebTV bill is $22.

I have just enough left to pay back the grrlz on da 1st floor, and to buy a cheap carton of cigarettes.

I'll have less than five dollars leftover for the month.

The bank is a predatory lender. There's no excuse nor justification for these steep rate increases. They've got us "hooked," because we're poor and can't get money elsewhere. They know we're stuck and now they're sticking it to us.

I'm sure there are thousands of disabled and elderly people stuck where I am.

So, I'm glad I only have to borrow three hundred next month. I can eat it down much faster.

And I'm grateful I've got the option of freelancing for Pacifica. I can get out from under those bastards even faster, with stories I can sell to Pacifica.
-------
Now, add on: rent-to-own scams, payday loans at huge interest, home equity loans that gouge, higher-priced groceries in slums, predatory landlords, "no credit required" used car lots, etc.

If you think the poor in this country are lazy, or just don't try hard enough, you're a fool.

It's a pit; it'll drag you down to lower and lower standards of living. It'll eat you up and spit you out.

And, once you're completely broken down, it'll throw you in a privatized jail or hospital, suck out every dime of personal property, over charge Medicaid and Medicare, and kill you with neglect.

I am absolutely serious when I say I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to break this cycle of poverty!

THAT's why, in pain and malnourished, I WALK three miles to KUNM, so I can write news stories!

THAT's why I've been collecting duck eggs and eating out of dumpsters! Every dime I can scrounge keeps me a pebble's distance farther from falling deeper into this black hole of poverty!