Poverty Is Not an Accident

Poverty Is Not an Accident
Nelson Mandela

Sunday, April 18, 2004

house work

You are reading http://livinginthehood.blogspot.com

Well, except for the floors, and a monstrous pile of to-do laundry, the house is a lot better.

The cats seem to think so, anyway.

I even got my bed linens changed...which explains most of the monstrous pile of laundry, as I've removed the 3 heavy, winter blankets and replaced them with light, summer blankets. Each blanket is a whole load, so it'll take me awhile to finish them.

But, with the lawn furniture moved from my little yard to the bed outside my window, I now have more space to store the laundry 'til it's done. Looks awful, sitting out there, though...sigh.

Hopefully, I can do a load a day next week, while gardening. And gardening's great therapy while working on that Paseo series for KUNM.

I can't seem to contact the city councilor with whom I'd like an interview, but there's another guy I can try. I need the city's perspective. But I'm avoiding the Mayor's office like a stink bomb. No thanks!

If the mayor had his way, the entire city of Albuquerque would be a giant tourist trap, and any inconvenient locals would be elbowed out of town. jees.

Don't SOLVE problems; cover them up with Ferris wheels.

Marty, I've got news for you: Albuquerque is an ugly, dry, miserable city that people want to pass through as fast as possible, on their way to California, Santa Fe and the East Coast. They only stop here for gas and tax-free smoke shops. Get over yourself.

And the only people who STAY in Albuquerque are disgruntled yuppies, escaping California crowds, colors and land prices -- or poor people whose cars broke down on the interstates.

Gross generalizations, but you get the idea....

Albuquerque, I've discovered, is the armpit of the entire southwest: stinky, hot and hairy. It may be necessary, but it's no fun to sit too close to it.

Well, I'm in a good mood! LOL

If you're planning a trip through Albuquerque, bring lots of money to bail you out as quickly as possible, before you get stuck.

The motto is, "New Mexico: Land Of Enchantment." But, when it comes to Albuquerque, it's "Land Of Entrapment." Albuquerque is a tar baby.

I MIGHT have my first segment done for Tuesday night. I'm not promising, but....

I have 3 dozen duck eggs to take to Food Not Bombs today, and I'm going for more this morning.

I made sure to make room in the fridge for more food. I also washed all the dishes, so I'll have room in my sinks and on my tiny counter to processs whatever I bring home today.

I've got to call Beaver; she wants to come by and see my place today.

It's 6am; isn't that hippy show supposed to be on KUNM now? I'm hearing gospel. yuck. The hippy show is New Dimensions. Maybe there was a problem with the broadcast..who knows? Maybe I'm crazy.

But I ain't listening to no gospel, so the radio's off. I need my brain cells.

Too much church music is about battering people into a "mood." You're not supposed to think; you're supposed to get worked up into an emotional frenzy. It's great mind control. Dammit.

See, that's why liberals, progressives and social activists can't compete with the christian Taliban: we don't provide easy answers; we don't make problems someone else's fault; we dont provide emotional bandages; we don't damn as "evildoers" those with whom we have issues. We also have this uncomfortable habit of expecting people to take responsibility for their OWN lives.

Our churches have dozens; the Taliban has thousands.

How can we possibly compete? sigh.

I have GOT to get out of this MOOD!

I'm sad and resentful. 2 people did special shows on KUNM for Poetry Month during the past week. Neither allowed me to read my stuff.

And some reporters at the station have been talking about me, as though I'm a problem. I asked them to "voice" my Paseo piece, since I can't do it. I thought it was my responsibility, as the reporter/researcher/producer of the piece to line up the talent. So, I did the best I could: I asked for assistance. I figured it was one, less thing to worry about as I worked on it. Seems now, I should have let Renee assign it to someone. How could I have known that?

It's solved now, though: Renee has agreed to voice it.

What worries me is that people have been talking ABOUT, rather than TO, me. That's been, in my past experience, the Kiss Of Death. It means people have this invisible agenda, about which I know nothing. They act on their agenda, pushing me out of the loop and rendering me impotent. And, because I don't KNOW about it, I don't get the honor of addressing this agenda directly, setting people's fears and concerns at ease, and putting out any fires.

Next thing I know, I'm painted into a corner, shut out and silenced.

Both the poetry and this are the same issue: silencing me. It's the theme of my life and my greatest heart ache. I really think I have useful things to say. But I'm always put in positions where I don't get to say them. I HATE being dismissed without even a responsible consideration, especially when this is based on prejudice and "first impressions."

People make a lot of assumptions about me that simply are not true. I'm not a "loose cannon." I'm not irresponsible. I'm not a flake. I'm not silly.

So, I resent having to "prove" myself, at square one, all over again.

And I don't have a clue how to break out of that. Especially when it happens in a subterranian fashion, where I can't see it, don't know it's going on until it's too late, and can't stop it.

I did tell the reporter who admitted to this extracurricular conversation with another reporter that I don't want people talking to me behind my back. But the comment wasn't acknowledged. I even made a joke, "isn't talking behind my back talking to my front?" but that was ignored, too. The person was wearing head phones, looking at a computer screeen. I suppose the person was editing a sound file and didn't hear me, but somehow, managed to hear me ask a third reporter to voice my story.

It's unnecessarily uncomfortable. When I asked the 3rd reporter, this first reporter interrupted the conversation to say it's not kewl to ask people to voice storis they didn't write themselves. I'm sorry, was I talking to YOU? How is this any of your business? I didn't say that, of course. The 1st reporter said I should talk to Renee about this.

um....I DID talk to Renee about this, and that's why I'm ASKING reporters to voice my story! I guess they think this is all my crack pot hairbrained idea? I just made this up, out of thin air?

Do they think I'm stupid????? LOL

y'know, I'm the new kid on the block. And things are going to have to adjust, slightly, to accomodate the fact that I write and voice commentaries, in order for me to research news stories.

Now, maybe nobody's ever done things this way in the past, but they're doing things this way, now.

Adjust and get over it.

I'm not insulting anybody. I'm not threatening anybody's "turf" or journalistic integrity. I'm trying to do my job, the best way I know how. If my methods don't suit yours, just leave me be. But don't interfere; don't gossip about me; don't make assumptions about me and for gawd's sake, don't sabbotage my work!

THAT's why I'm in a mood today.

As for the poetry thing: the reason you people haven't heard my stuff is that I don't have a car and haven't been able to participate with the "in" crowd. But my poetry's published, both in my domain and on the KUNM bulletin board. You COULD have read it, if you wanted to. One person actually said they didn't know if they'd read my stuff, because their FEET HURTH! HUH?? You surf the net, standing up????

Who's crazy?

Don't silence me. I've had enough of that.

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