I'd say your family comes first. If the poly "movement" can't live without you, it isn't a "movement," at all; it's a personality cult. Let them do their own thinkng.
I hope your family can, at least, help financially. Don't let them eat all your food and not contribute.
Sorry to hear about your daughter and the epilepsy. Please remember, too, that there are huge, neural growth spurts at this time. Plus, many teenage girls are ferociously angry at this stage of life.
Don't feel guilty about others' expectations if they're not helping you out around the house, helping you with the business, and helping with your daughter.
Doesn't sound, to ME, like you're "giving up;" sounds MORE like you're in danger of BURNING OUT, if you don't get some cooperation and support soon!
Also, many people who settled in Albuquerque did so because the horse...or the car....died here. They're still pioneers, or settlers. Sometimes, life just makes you "settle." Like Psalms says, "he MAKETH me lie down!" Didn't say "he" ASKED! lol
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He replied, to let me know his family does contribute.
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I keep forgetting: it's nine am there. Although I'm still surprised you wrote back so quickly! LOL
OK, I get it.
Still, it makes sense, to me, for you to take care of yourself.
I've left UUA all together: online and brick and mortar. I just can't educate everybody on issues of economic disadvantage. They're priviledged; they can buy books. Funny, for people who quote Woody Guthrie and Maya Angelou, they sure don't get it.
When I think back on the incredible amounts of work I did for churches, both in Louisville and here, and how little tangible support I received when I REALLY needed it, I just shake my head and sigh.
I'm afraid people just EXPECT the services of a church to be in place for them, like some vending machine. Take what you need; don't say "thanks;" be angry if it doesn't work immediately; walk away after you get what you want; kick it if you don't.
People in churches watched me go through homelessness, the death of my daughter, severe illness, etc. and didn't even send a casserole or a greeting card. That doesn't feel like community, to me.
And I got tired of having to "prove" myself. I had hoped for some networking, so I could access resources I needed. These were modest: employment, affordable housing, legal advice, etc. No matter how much I contributed, I was never seen as worth the "risk" of such networking. I was kept at arms' distance, outside the "loop."
At the radio station, that doesn't happen. Everybody there is working their butts off, for little or no pay, trying to perform a community service, have some fun, do something creative and subversive, in these "homeland security" times.
I'm not considered "peculiar" or "threatening." I'm one of them. The medium encourages individual creativity, as well as collective cooperation and support. So does the station's mission statement. It's assumed individual contributors will come from diverse backgrounds, have disparate agendas and skill levels and will find ways to interface those within the context of the medium.
I'm a good writer. They appreciate that. I've got a good ear; I'm a good editor; I'm a good interviewer and reporter; I'm a hard worker and a fast learner. I get lots of positive feed back. And I'm even starting to get paid.
btw: Free Speech Radio Network is the satellite version of Pacifica Radio http://fsrn.org
I've respected Pacifica all my life, since I first ran away from home as a teenager. It means a lot to me to be writing for them.
A Public Broadcasters' Convention met here in ALbq. last week. A guy from our station couldn't go, so I got to use his pass. I met people who can help me get documentaries aired nationally! Including a woman from NPR! I had a BALL!
So, it looks like I've found my "church," where my "sermons" and "education classes" are appreciated and encouraged.
I'm much better, recorded, than in real life, anyway. I don't even want to do live radio; I want to produce reports, documentaries, etc.
And there are nationally syndicated programs to which I can contribute, for pay.
I'm just getting started. I have no reliable transportation. But I'm learning the equipment quickly and I work like a dog.
It shouldn't take me too long to provide myself with a more comfortable life, while doing useful work, if I just keep at it.
I'm taking this week "off," so I can garden, do laundry, clean the house, etc.
But I'm anxious to get started again, next week! I have lots of story ideas: not impossible scenarios; practical, doable pieces for which I don't need to kill myself and can still produce useful stuff.
My next, big deal is a report on a women's homeless shelter in town. I plan evening reports for KUNM news, as well as a 1/2 hour documentary for Women's Focus locally. Then, I'll see about distributing it nationally!
It's my first, big project.
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