The garden's watered; 2 loads of laundry are done.
I shaved my legs outside. It's a lot easier than that tiny shower. For one thing, I can see.
I sit on a lawn chair and soak my calves & feet in a bucket, sip my coffee, play with cats, etc.
I groom my toes. I lather shaving cream on one leg at a time and shave.
Then I apply liberal lotion.
It makes walking in the yard a bit problematic; dirt sticks to lotion very well.
But I mince around in my rubber thongs and try not to mess myself up.
Feels nice: menthol shaving cream, cool breeze, the tingle silkiness of freshly-shaved legs, softened feet.
I'm feeling after effects of yesterday's intensity. I'm just tired. It's a satisfied, comfy sort of snooziness.
I'll nap in a bit.
The email isn't blinking now. Either people have nothing to say, or they're all discussing it amongst themselves, before getting back to me with their decisions.
I'm not posting here about what happened. A decision was made, centered in fear and insecurity, hurt feelings and abuse of power. Shooting a gnat wih an elephant gun comes to mind.
It's an inconvenience, true. But I'm not a stupid person. I can work around this attempt at blocking my evolution.
I don't want to make any decisions or statements about the situation for awhile. I need to think about it, discuss it -- so do others.
But you'll notice I'm not at the station today.
I will be, soon. But not like before.
And that will be fine with me, once I'm prepared to go my own ways.
Meantime, I've got plenty to do, getting ready to go out on my own.
One of those things I must do is take good care of myself.
Today, I'm tired. Yesterday demanded my conscious attention. It was amazingly intense, but I loved it. One might say I was in the "deep end." I wasn't fearful or confused. I felt right at home.
I was already choosing to head the direction I'm pointed in now. Yesterday's decisions aren't a surprise. And they're certainly not putting a stop to what I'm doing.
I could sure use a bathtub today! That would be delicious!
I'm a little too uncoordinated, right now, to take a shower; it would be dangerous.
So, I'm laying under the air conditioning, resting, with a belly full of that wonderful meat I bought this week.
I feel another nap coming on, 'tho I slept over eight hours last night. Normally, I sleep six.
They're all here, with me: the people I've loved and respected. I'm encircled by them, held by them. I can imagine them laughing, making comments, smiling, reading my beads.
I feel all of them, living and dead.
I have been loved and respected by some fine people. That's a fact.
They're with me now. I'm celebrating that.
If I never connected with another person as long as I lived, I'd be more than well loved.
And now, by their examples, I'm learning to love myself.
My garden looks more lucious every day!
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