If there's one thing poverty & disability have taught me, it's delayed gratification. Persistance is in there, too; giving up gets you nothing.
My left shoulder socket is very angry with me about weight lifting. I have to be more careful: that's not muscle strain.
Everywhere else, though, my muscles are saying, "why are we awake?" and wanting not to move. Good thing I have a thousand asprin, huh?
Oxygen! I need oxygen! That'll feed and enrich my muscles and brain.
I'm coughing up oysters today: as soon as I reduce my smoking, my lungs wake up and kick off the oppression of drugging.
I'm back to making myself smoke only in the living room. It's too easy to smoke too much back here, while I'm working.
I don't want my clothes, bed, etc. smelling of smoke, either.
So, I must move all the way out front to smoke. I must not do anything while I smoke. TV & radio are ok, but I won't do any work, eat, etc. while smoking. I have to just sit there and feel like an idiot for wasting time, smoking.
Usually, an inch down on the cigarette, I'm itchin' to get back to whatever I was doing. I put the smoke out, save it for later, and get back to work.
At the station, it's hard to smoke. I have to go down to the patio, outside. So, I feel duty-bound to inhale as much nicotine as humanly possible, while I'm there. And there's always the temptation to fire up a 2nd, or even a 3rd, while talking with other smokers.
So, I'm back to my 1 cigarette per hour, max.
It's not glamorous, but I feel the difference.
I've written my emails to the people to whom I need to apologize. Have received one reply, but it was the weekend. That person & I will meet at Frontier Restaurant, after I get my scooter tires. This is the "easiest" of the 3 people I've contacted, so it'll be good practice.
If I devote most of my time and energy to my goals, I may still fail, but I'll know I've done my best.
Radio has always been a serious priority in my life, even when I didn't have access to a station. When I'm not producing, I'm critically listening. I've learned a lot this way.
I can do radio, with a disability. I can do radio, even though I don't look good.
As long as I don't completely lose my sight or hearing, I can do radio. I could probably do it, anyway.
It's a more immediate and intimate medium. TV always feels distant, manicured, inaccessible.
Radio follows a person around the house, to work, at work, on vacations, during housework, etc. It is a companion. The talent voices seem closer, more familiar. Radio is portable; internet and tv aren't so much...yet.
Radio also focuses more on descriptions, since it's not a visual medium. That's good training for writers. If a person can't write, the listener will either give up, never engage the subject, or subconsciously think, "why should I care?" and tune out.
TV can use images to entice. Radio can't.
So it's more fun to write for radio, anyway.
And tv is under the mistaken impression that it's important. So, it becomes elitist. Not in an academic way, mind you. Certainly not! But it's not accessible to people without "connections." I guess that's true of any commercial venue, though. Sponsors control too much.
I'm staying home today. I have some chores to do.
But, mostly, I'm spending the day learning broadcasting from the A.I.R. site.
Besides, I have cat butts to scratch...
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