Well, I had planned to work very hard today, to make myself sweat and release nervous energy, before bathing and reading tonight.
But my body's protesting simple chores, like washing dishes and taking out compost & trash.
I think I'll nap some this morning.
I have that radio show to transcribe, if I'm hell bent on being productive today.
I listened to some old Beatles this morning, and the "Grand Canyon Suite."
It's fun, having music again.
I have all my speakes arranged well; I can hear radio, all over my home again.
Yes, my shoulders, neck, back and arms are begging for a nap.
So, I'll turn on the air and cuddle with this snoring dog.
I shouldn't have had so much coffee on an empty stomach this morning; made me jittery. That's not good for a woman who's about to read a very self revelatory piece at Open Mic at the Blue Dragon tonight, huh?
Except for the actual getting bathed & dressed, though, I am ready.
I listened to Paul McCartney's "Yesterday" this morning. That song no longer applies. When I was YOUNGER all my troubles were here to stay. And I was half the person I am now.
Whatever's happening to me, whatever this process is, it's a RADICAL change in my perception of reality!
I have no energy for self pity about how damaged I've been and how that limited my options.
Suddenly, I'm above the trauma, learning my strenths that resulted from it, appreciating my courage and resilliance.
The trauma still causes pain; scars will.
But this new direction/focus/energy I'm working in has me seeing I don't need to stay burdened with it.
It's only pain.
Gawd knows, I can live, work, love and create while in pain.
Have done, for decades.
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