I found an unopened long neck of bud light, in the alley, when I was watering. I think that was about a month ago. I just remembered it's in the fridge.
It's a hot night, and I'm nervous.
I sent a copy of that post to the person in question.
ut, oh.....
Actually, I have excellent, if unrequited, taste.
I got a relatively-prompt reply, sent to relieve the suspense. I'm expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ut, oh.....
I pick only the best, fo sho. I always find the kindest, strongest, most creative people!
I wanted to write something, earlier, about Marianna Dengler. Totally unrelated to sexuality, but the above sentence reminded me.
Scott Simon interviewed Simon & Garfunkel this morning. Lord, I just kept bursting into tears! Guess who first intro'ed me to them? Yeah, Marianna. In Jr. Hi, on one of those cheap, suitcase record players.
Guess which song? "Sounds of Silence."
OO, I SO wished Marianna was alive to hear how Paul Simon wrote that song, in his bathroom in Queens...or was it Brooklyn?...with the lights out and the water running! He was TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD! How could a kid that young know that stuff?
They ended the interview with that heart breaking song...
time it was, and what a time it was"
a time of innocence.
a time of consequences.
long ago, it must be:
I have a photograph.
Preserve your memories;
they're all that's left you.
Well, you know I just lost it. Blubbered all over the kitchen and damn near burned my taters and bacon!
Oh, I miss her so MUCH! Especially now, when I'm working on all this love stuff, tryin' to get real.
I need my mommy! I need my sistah! I need my FRIEND!
I mean, I NEED her!
Marianna, I just don't KNOW how to be THIS strong, grrl!
And this FINE person I'm jonesin' on! You coulda helped me there! I need to TALK!
I'm dancing on the edge of a knife. Whatever I do, it's gonna hurt.
I'm trying SO hard, and I've blown the gig at the station, and I'm STILL trying to go independent and so much hinges on maintaining in the face of what feeels like overwhelming needs that can't be met.
I just need to hear you say, "hello!" in that musical, doting, smiling melody you'd lay on me. Like I was precious. Like you were looking forward to hearing my call. Like I mattered.
I worshipped you, grrl; you do know that, don't you? You scared me to death, I needed your approval so badly.
That's why I'd keep runnin' for the hills, hiding from you for years at a time.
First, I thought you'd hate queers. Then, I thought you'd hate that I stopped drinkin'...
Lord, what I missed, runnin' from YOU!
DAYUM!
No do-overs, dammit.
I coulda been cuddled and cuffed and cared for! 'stead, I kept runnin' the streets and dodgin' your eyes!
You shoulda heard that interview today, Marianna! You'd have LOVED it! S&G r on tour again, TOGETHER! bout time, huh?
Just like us, sorta: life long friends, occasionally estranged, attached at the hip. Brilliant and toxic together.
Grrl, I miss you. You'd be impressed and dress me down, all in the same round.
I ONLY love the BEST, child!
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