I know not to wear white shoes after Labor Day. I know pretty complicated, formal dining. I even know some multicultural etiquette.
I know scholastic etiquette. I know journalistic etiquette.
I even know Queer etiquette.
I know how to behave in front of: police, children, gangsters, drag queens, ministers, actors, news sources, social workers, disabled people, people of color, Communists, Southern Baptists, Orthodox Jews.....
I even know Robert's Rules of Order.
...but I do NOT understand academic beurocracies! And I do not understand corporate management structures.
And I don't really WANT to know! From all I've seen, it makes people pretty sick and dangerous.
Now, I've attracted the attention of such a structure. I'm in over my head.
I don't know the secret handshakes, the hidden traps....
I'm smart, but NOBODY's THAT smart; that's something a person must be taught to survive!
I have no official council, no advisor, no advocate.
If I survive this process, it'll be because some individual, within the structure, gives me slack somehow. It won't be because I did things correctly. That's impossible.
And this is a situation in which none of the players can afford to cut corners; it could affect their positions.
I'm seeking advice from an outside source: a friend who has some considerable experience, inside such structures.
But that person's very busy. I can't depend on that source.
I'm on my own.
If it turns out well for me, it'll be a bloody miracle.
If it turns out badly, things could be even worse for me than they are already.
It's a huge risk I'm taking.
I guess I'll have to learn this stuff very quickly.
But it's the same structural form that runs politics. And we all know how toxic THAT can be!
It's all overwhelming and I'm pretty frightened.
I made a very stupid mistake. That's true.
These consequences, however, are way out of proportion to the small amount of damage I've done. And I've tried to heal and repair the damage. My offer has been refused.
Wish me luck. I'm going to need it!
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