Well, I've been paying attention. I got too caught up in the paid staff at KUNM, and haven't been paying attention to the volunteers.
They're the gold.
I paid attention at the meeting on Saturday. I honed in on a couple, and another woman, whose work is very respectable and who have similar goals to mine. They are all more affluent than I. They have access to more resources.
I have raw talent. I have some skill. I'm a good writer, and much better organized than I appear (the benefits of short term memory disorder, and of surviving poverty).
So, it would be mutually beneficial for me to work with them.
I checked out the A.I.R. website today, particularly the "pitch" page. I can earn a living. It won't be easy, but I can do this.
I've been assessing my situation in the newsroom. Rather than feeling hurt and picked on, I've been approaching this as a problem in my professional life which needs a solution.
So, I went to Ma. I asked him to mediate a conversation between Re and I. I told him I need about one more week. I need to purge my psychological hurt. I don't want to approach her from a finger pointing perspective. She won't listen, she'll get defensive and she'll just point fingers, back.
I need to own up to my responsibility for putting MYSELF in the position of feeling like her bitch. I did that, as much as anybody.
I was approaching the station with a persona of being friendly, humorous, flamboyant, etc. It has gotten me pegged as potentially dangerous, a loose cannon, a bag lady, etc.
I thought, I guess, that I'd appear less threatening, if I adopted this approach. It is a survival technique, one of which I'm not even consciously aware, by which I telegraph that I'm no danger. It works well in the 'hood, but it threatens middle class people.
I will not tone down my dress. I will not compromise my values. But I'm reigning in the effusiveness. I'm becoming very quiet, neat and effective.
Some people have already noticed.
I also approached Tr about producing programming, seperate from news. I discussed it with Ma, too. Tr is helping me.
The contract is this: Whatever I produce for sale independently must first be aired on KUNM. So, I'll have to be careful to keep both my paid venue's and KUNM's needs in mind, as I produce.
I have about 5 stories in various stages of production. Most of their completion depends on locating my interview subjects. Almost all of them will be sold.
I quietly organized all my files, notes, completed stories, sound, etc. today. I've already begun finding all the word.docs on various computers, to place transcripts of stories on my domain.
I know where everything is, what it is, how far along I am in production, what I need to finish, etc.
I've kept all my contacts from past stories, too.
I have a pizza in the oven; it smells like it's about done. I need to check on it and post more later.
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